Short Putts Poems

If ever a golf ball were to be square
It would dither, neither go here nor there
Lofted shots it will resist
Putts, it may surely assist
New Golf rules too, difficult to declare.

24.4.2020...

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THE DUFFER


Clyde Rolf
Played golf

In rough
That's tough

Mishap
Sand trap

Putts missed
He's pissed

So far
No par

Entry for Jan Allison's "Five Fabulous Fun Footles" Contest
(22 Oct 2016)...

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Clyde Rolf
Played golf

First nine
Went fine

Next nine
Not fine

He muffs
In roughs

Sand trap
Oh crap

Tough break
In lake

Bad hook
In brook

Blew putts
Some klutz

Hurled putter
In gutter

O'er par
By far

Disgust
He cussed

Clubhouse
To souse...

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Randolph
Tried golf

Paid fees
Bought tees

Teed off
Pals scoff

Drive muff
In rough

Balls lost
They cost!

Oh crap
Sand trap!

Putts bad
Gets mad!

More flubs
Breaks clubs!

So far
No par

Played poor
No more!

Club house
To souse!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired...

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WOMEN DRIVERS


The trouble with women drivers
with all of their if’s, ands, and butts

is that when they are driving for distance
they lose all their delicate touch

thinking the faster they get there
will cause all the others to blush

but no one cares how well they drive
as long as they make their putts.


John G. Lawless
2/15/2015...

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IN A STATE OF HYPERDIMWITTEDNESS SPREAD OUT FROM THE DARK ABYSS
SO I CHILL
MOTION SICKNESS HYPERTHORMAL SO I GOT A COLD
STRANDED BETWEEN TWO NEGATIVE PULLS
THREADED IN A BEAM OF LIGHT
SO I FIGHT
BRANDED SCARED AND WIRED TO THE MAX
SO I LAY ON MY BACK
DISSAPAITING ANTICIPATING NEVER RELAXATING
PUTTS ME IN THE MIND OF STUPIDITY
HI YALL MY NAME IS AUTRY
I THINK I AM A POET 
MAYBE I JUST DONT KNOW IT
BUT AS FAR AS I CAN SEE VERY LITTLE
SPACE CRUSHED MIND MUSH
SO I HUSH...

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