Short Peckers Poems

Uwinsky went to the Peckers Inn
With so many men, where to begin?
But one by one
She had great fun
And promised herself to come again....

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Peckers can peck 20 times a second
Must hurt at just 2 times I reckon 
Not swift these guys
Stop now I advise
Or it's off to emergency the pain to lessen...

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Once was this famous chef named Nancy
Guys were always trying to get in her pantry
But her salt and pepper
Caused sneezing peckers
Her meals were amazing and whatta chassis...

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Once was this famous chef named Nancy
Guys were always trying to get in her pantry
But her salt and pepper
Caused sneezing peckers
Her meals were amazing and whatta chassis...

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Once was this famous chef named Nancy
Guys were always trying to get into her pantry
But her salt and pepper
Caused many sneezing peckers
Most meals were deemed unsatisfactory...

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LITTLE PECKER, BIG PECKER 
AND WOOD PECKER 
SAT ON A WALL.
LITTLE PECKER AND BIG PECKER 
STOOD ERECT
AND WOOD PECKER 
HAD A BALL.
HOW COULD THREE PECKERS ON A WALL 
HAVE A BALL?
I ASKED MISS WOOD....

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Once was this famous chef named Nancy
Guys were always trying to get in her pantry
But her salt and pepper
Caused many sneezing peckers
Her meals were amazing and whatta chassis...

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Peter Piper picked a peck
Of pickled peckers...
After the laughter subsided
I was in a peck of trouble,
In a real pickle so to speak.
Thank god he wasn't a woodchuck.
I'd still be saying Hail Mary's.

2/15/2020...

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Heard it's good luck if a seagull poops on your head
Screw the good luck, should have worn a helmut instead
Nasty old peckers
Disgusting flying lechers
Gonna shoot 'em down with my bow'n arrow I pledge...

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Heard it's good luck if a seagull poops on your head
Screw the good luck, should've worn a helmet instead
Nasty old peckers
Disgusting flying lechers
Gonna shoot 'em down with my bow and arrow I pledge...

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Once we were hunter-gatherers
tribes grouped outdoors
before the days of yore
now we're hunt and peckers
each cooped indoors
on personal computer keyboards
and way back when
we'd communicate
banging on the drums
yes since then
we've progressed
today we're all
fingers and thumbs
...

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Little beggars with wings
Little bully birds

Adapt to their environment
They eat quite well 
Better than most

Little feathered urchin
Little pavement peckers

Evolve into winged cons
They fence quite well
Slyer than most

Those impressive beggar birds
Those resilient creatures

They easily make their way
They live a lovely life.
Surviving better than most...

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Men who like men join a gentleman's club
Hen-pecked husbands play rub-a-dub-dub
Men who like food go straight to the grub
So all the rest of us head for the pub

All Blacks enjoy squeezing pigskin
Yanks love their beer, the British their gin
The ladies prefer champagne Micky Finn
Sipped under a table at Peckers Inn

The morning after should never exist
But good times are rare and not to be missed
I seem to recall a kiss and a tryst
But all said and done, DAMN!  Was I pissed!...

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