Short Panned Poems

If Dad were here to view our nature programs
His appreciation of things simple was very well-known
A misunderstood man
His ideas were panned
His ideas were questioned but they're basically my own...

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Ark Key Ollie Gee
Ant Throw Polly Gee
Nuke Lear Fizzy Ollie Gee

Etta Molly Gee
Pale Ian Tala Gee
On Collie Gee
Panned M. Mick Sigh Collie Gee

Row Man Tick Po' a Tree
Pear a Sale Ling
Fill Ah So Fee
N-Dove Lie F. Counts Ceiling...

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Peter put up potted plants on paths  and patted himself
Pasted posters on pitted  parts where people paid to pee
Praised and panned , through  pleas and plans, pots and pans he banned
Pipped  at the post in poles  and piqued, he put it all on press....

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Sitting in the pub,
Spending painfully-panned-gold,
Thinking about making money;
What a shame:
Money making ain't thinking about me.

Last night,
Love was good:
The plastic was foul,
We had to let go of all;
Fear is a useless emotion:
Reality is frightful.
...

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Chicken, get back; don’t peck me
For the cleaver in my hand
Just think, could be, soon chopping thee.
Dinner captured, cleaned and panned.

© February 16, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Chastushka Form-Russian Poetry 
Sponsored by: Gwendolen Rix...

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[bard1]
To wit, sans pearl, mere grit and sand,
an irritant, sebaceous cyst,
expressive as a mongrel’s gland,
self-seeking randy churlish tryst!

[bard2]
Eccentric heel’s ethos raised grand,
eschews finesse, rough skewers gist,
a numpty dumpty, brillig panned,
thou frontal lob, now dully bris’d!...

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How was it back in the day? The second-grader asked me.
I knew by now he thought I was at least a hundred and three.
We rode in Conestoga wagons for months, I told him. Threw pianos out too.
Ate whatever we could find, lots of raccoon and opossum stew.
Panned for gold when we got to Califor-eee-ay.
That's how it was
Back in the day....

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On yonder strand
In bridled land
A motley band
With vigor fanned
Across hill, lowland
With self righteous brand
Seeking brigand contraband
From each licentious hand
To forthrightly remand
Every highway spanned
Tolls, tribute to demand
Each pilfering cleric did reprimand
Then every bloated collection was 
panned
Every royal vestige scanned
Gratuitous coffers to expand...

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My bones and my brains are developing rust,

I'm  pumping the handle but, it’s spitting out dust

Rain clouds mumbled, and they just kept going

Unfurled my sails but the wind ain’t blowing

I was pissing and moaning in a fitful rage

But the dried up tears left a wrinkled blank page.

The things I start always end up panned,

As my pen sits still, stagnant in my hand....

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Funny, they were wearing mask
Those devils, for five years
Pretending to be angels
I hoped their pretence to become real
Now I am the fool
They just wanted me to trust them
And it panned out just as they planned.
I trusted them just to be stabbed in the back.
Now I are bleeding on the floor
Screaming on the street
While they are casually sipping tea
Discussing about the fool
Who put them up there....

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football
is all

crowd roars
kick soars

a pass
at last

man cave
men crave

cold ones
at once

demand
she panned

but serve
the beer

and chips
for dips

hubby
must pee

walks out
on lout

and shops
till drops

lonely
lady

returns
and learns

the lout
passed out

flat beer
oh dear

the game
now tame

half time
her time

clap hands
to bands

the game
what game!...

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Remember when we graced the fields with
youthful glee and innocence?
When time non-existent hid its face
and all was pure and sacrosanct.

We scoured a realm these days unseen 
and magic glittered in our eyes.
The moon a marvel and stars our wishes.
Did your dream come true?

Searching for the rainbows end,
our eyes they panned the blessed horizon.
When we reached the promised bounty
time had swept our pathway back....

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A bird in a cage; your inner demons will rage
A bird in the air your dreams cannot pair
A bird on a ledge; your losing your competitive edge
A bird in the tree is no fait accompli
A bird in the nest; all aspirations laid to rest
A bird in the mound; your tactics are not sound
A bird on the pond; your fleeting visions will abscond
A bird on the ground; all hope is not yet drowned
A bird in the hand; your gratuities are panned...

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A funeral was held today,
Joan Rivers laid to rest,
Attracting many A-list names
With those who knew her best.

The eulogies were filled with jokes,
Evoking grins and smiles.
It's rare at funerals to find
Folks laughing in the aisles.

It's just the type of send-off
She most likely would have planned - 
The audience attentive,
Not a chance of getting panned.

At a service for a comic
Somber sobbing disappears,
For there's bound to be some laughter
Intermingled with the tears....

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