Short Old Maid Poems

those old maid clothes
makes you look so old
What you mean its over?...

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     Dues paid
       Made grade

     Looks fade
       Old maid...

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Why does splendor gray
Why does the flower fade
  Once a fair maiden
  Now an old maid
Beauty's virtue lies not in decay...

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Trump was seen in a penny arcade
Making eyes at a very old maid
Although she was old
Her facemask was gold
A Republican on Medicaid?...

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Shogi
me?
I can barely play Go Fish

Old Maid is well over my head
Shogi?
I think not

Shogi: Japanese chess
where you get to use your
opponent’s captured army...

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A well travelled lass named Adelaide
Innovative and never staid,
Unmarried,single but no old maid-
A short life,latterly full of pain,
Her epitaph,the American cinquain....

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A well travelled lass named Adelaide
Innovative and never staid,
Unmarried,single but no old maid-
A short life,latterly full of pain,
Her epitaph,the American cinquain....

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There was an old maid named Clorenza Brown.
She had her eye upon Willian Lee Crown.
She baked him apple pie
the hard crust was so dry
that poor William caught first stage out of town....

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I have a frisky frog on my back the flamingo whined.
He jumped on last night when I went out to dine.
I wish I had one lamented Old Maid Clementine.
She had been a floozy in her day, and she knew how to grind....

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"Hi baby!"

endless phone calls,

to unsuspecting members of "the family"

the sweet OLD maid squeaks....

her lovely ancient SOUL, "hi honey" she squeaks.

Makes me WONDER, is this someday how I will SPEAK?...

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Then, there was Jacob from Ypsilanti
Who lived in an old ramshackle shanty 
He saved all his money
For his chosen honey
Wound up marrying my old-maid auntie.

written August 9, 2021...

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Play hearts?
  No smarts

Blackjack?
  Lack knack

Go fish?
  You wish

Try bridge?
  Ask Midge

Old Maid?
  Afraid

Cribbage?
  Priv'lege

Euchre?
  Nuke her

Hold 'em?
  Fold 'em

Psst:
 Poker?
  Mediocre...

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She was an old maid with six brothers,
Once again, she held a gun on her “date”.
He began to shake.
His boots clanged together.
Another one gone? A brother said.
The rest of them laughed.
Insurance they would never have to cook or clean....

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Eleanor. Who was she? 
A spinster. Quiet, aloof, alone.
Well-known yet stealing away to the recesses of her singularity.
An old maid. 
One who navigates through the motions of life. 
Solace or sorrow who would know? 
Sung to the world yet unknown....

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A well travelled lass named Adelaide
Innovative and never staid,
Unmarried,single but no old maid-
A short life,latterly full of pain,
Her epitaph,the American cinquain.

Tribute vignette to Adelaide Crapsey,the American creator of the Cinquain form...

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Trapped, like Napoleon on Elba, cursing himself 300 straight nights.
There's no escape from MY desolate coast"so I longingly wait nights.
The moon comes and goes on restless, disenchanted, chaste nights.
Will I be an old maid before the next"dear and playful"date night?...

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Cousin Blanche disclosed, explained, expressed and told.
Stories from the family’s past, many quite funny and old.
She hinted, insinuated, teased, and laughingly conveyed,
Mom said her lies were proof of her role as old maid.
We believed her tales, they delighted us so.
Whether or not they were true, we will never know....

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My tribute to this favourite poet:

A well travelled lass named Adelaide
Innovative and never staid,
Unmarried,single but no old maid-
A short life,latterly full of pain,
Her epitaph,the American cinquain.
For the lovely Adelaide Crapsey
a long life was not to be.
In syllable,two,four,six eight&two
her cinquain made imagism anew
...

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Tribute vignette

A well travelled lass named Adelaide
Innovative and never staid,
Unmarried,single but no old maid-
A short life,latterly full of pain,
Her epitaph,the American cinquain.

in the American Cinquain style Adelaide Crapsey

These be
the keys to life,
faith,hope and agape,
love,the greatest gift of all three-
to thee !...

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ADELAIDE CRAPSEY-IMAGIST

A well travelled lass named Adelaide
Innovative and never staid,
Unmarried,single but no old maid-
A short life,latterly full of pain,
Her epitaph,the American cinquain.

Tribute vignette to Adelaide Crapsey,the American creator of the Cinquain form, my poetic inspiration.

re-post inspired by Brenda's contest...

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There was a old maid that lived in a house, That old maid took a look under her house and she could not tell what is down there. The old maid took a candle and went down there and she saw a dead body and it was an old maid that was there before her. The old maid did not know what to do ? So she said I am out of here no more old maid in this house bye....

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A silly young man from Segovia
Was eager to collar a novia:*
	When asked for his preference,
	He gave points of reference,
Restricted from Minsk to Monrovia.
	
When asked, an old maid from Madrid
Answered testily, “Heaven forbid!”
	But then, once wined and dined,
	She felt less disinclined:
She said, “Maybe I will” – and she did!


* novia  =  girlfriend...

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Oh !
The swirl o the kilt !

The Maid
There was an old maid of Pitlochary whose morals were truly a mockery
For under her bed she'd a fellow instead of the usual porcelain crockery !

to the haunt o the pipe !

The Lady
Each time Lady Sutherland swooned 
Her bosoms popped out like balloons
But her butler stands by with a gleam in his eye and lifts them back in with warm spoons !...

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I was contented with my life
Being nobody's wife. 
I climbed mountains, travelled a lot, 
I didn't care if I was alone or not
Until someone came
And everything was never the same. 
I didn't realize that I was lost
Not until he swam every ocean at all cost
Only then did I said, 
"I don't wanna be an old maid"
Without him, I will never know how lost I am
I'll never know where I'm going or where I came from....

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Octopus guy was the laughing stock of the west China sea
Frankly, I thought his colors beautiful, if anyone had asked me
But no one did, because I had become invisible at the age of twenty-three
Preteens and teens run the reef these days, and they do so with glee.
I feel like an old maid, but I run over to check out Octopus Guy, Mr. Bee.
Your orange colors are gorgeous I tell him, and he says he appreciates me....

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