Short Mortician Poems

Our morticians are thanking their god
For a year where they all earned a wad
Though some were burnt
Many more weren't
Still, their best work lies under the sod!...

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"I tie the shoelaces together on my dead," says my local mortician, 
"because if a zombie apocalypse were ever to happen,
 it will most certainly be an hilarious situation."...

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Bart Bren was a novice politician      
Who was fair at stating his position.    
But folk who wouldn't listen
Caused a major transition.
Bart found his audience as a mortician....

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Here lies old Ethel Mae McMurtrey
She fell while trimming a pine tree
The mortician removed the needles
From prickly Ethel Mae McMurtrey

Written March 20, 2022...

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He was laid in the casket;
He didn’t wear a smile;
Because the mortician, didn’t put any makeup on?
And so he lived and died with a frown on?




8/7/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2021©...

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Once in the ghost town they called rotgut
Seen mortician dancing dead mans strut
Six shooter brought Slim down
Black smith hurried left town
Guess hang by boots then when in a rut




Entry For Jerry's 
A Town Called Rotgut
GL All...

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1.
Unfortunate for him
Without payment
The mortician feels
That he got stiffed

2.
He felt there was no spark
Left between them
So the electrician went out
And got buzzed

3.
Being alone another night
The butcher stayed home 
And pounded his meat...

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All hail the village mortician
  his bearing, proper patrician

Sterling the gent's reputation
  throughout his chosen vocation

A man of dignity and reserve
  whose stare can a ghost unnerve

Frankly, he makes me quite nervous
  though one day I'll be needing his service...

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It’s said the apple’s history
goes back to our earliest ancestry
when, in a garden, a couple
ate one and got us all in trouble.

Now, had the apple been arsenic
its effect would have been just as tragic,
and who but a fool would today say
“Arsenic a day keeps the mortician away?”

...

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The lighting - it was over-bright
above the table where she lay,
her skin dead cold but lovely white.
The lighting -it was over-bright,
He loved work best alone at night.
With corpses he could have his way.
The lighting - it was over-bright
above the table where she lay.

Written June 19, 2016...

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The Secret of the Mortician

Dead, but I got eyes
Prepares my body at the morgue
Opens the chest
Drains the blood from its nudity
Admires my body before it decays

After The process of embalming
His hands run all over
I'm still dead
He's satisfied

The next day 
Writes an outstanding obituary 
I sit on display

~SKAT~...

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======================

The lighting, it was over-bright
She seemed to merely be at rest

I'd made her up just right despite
the lighting (it was over-bright!)

When caught in a carress, one might
need not confess but ought suggest

the lighting. It was over-bright
...She seemed to merely be at rest

======================...

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She figures she will do it after she answers the phone
She waves her fingers in the air
hoping to dry them off
one nail is unpainted
she drops the phone
coughs once
collapses
the mortician wonders why one nail is unpainted
she figures the woman was painting her nails
when cardiac arrest took her life
she left one nail unpainted
the girl's mother painted the last nail,
her ring finger,
a deep blood-red
so that at her funeral,
everyone knew what did it....

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