Short Mayonnaise Poems

Watercress soup with garlic
Jersey royals
Samphire with caper butter
lemon mayonnaise
Anchovy fillets
Bitter beer
Cool!...

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Buttery asparagus
beef served on the bone
skate with caper mayonnaise
mutton chop curry
rhubarb and custard
From days gone
By !...

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We cook it ! Feel your tonsils tingle!
Add mayonnaise, lettuce, a pickle.
Lost both tonsils at ten
so can I ask you when
my change comes to more than a nickle?...

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Woke up with a look of terror on my face
Dreamt I was an alien from deep outer space
With big oval eyes
Small body in size
With a complexion that resembled mayonnaise...

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A much-neglected condiment is mayonnaise
    for its smooth, creamy flavor, I give it 'all A's'

  It perks up a sandwich more than ketchup and mustard
    and even on desserts, it can outduel custard...

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Clean cut crisp cabbage 
Onion diced quite small. 
Lets get the carrot grated 
Engage the taste buds all. 
Salad cream or mayonnaise 
Lemon juice for zest. 
All on top a baked potato 
What a feast  the best....

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Woke up with a look of terror on my face
Dreamt I was an alien from deep outer space
With big oval eyes
A body small in size
With a complexion that resembled Kraft Mayonnaise


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Neuropathy in my hands.
A panoply is the rest.
A screw loose in my head.
With itis through my back.
It's what old sawbones said.
But he saved the best for last.
Seems I have two more days
Please pass the ham and mayonnaise...

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Sign said “ONE WAY” but I was only going one way
Shades of Sesame Street, oh for those long ago days 
Hard to go both ways at once
Like wearing undies back to front
Dr. Suess was the kookiest man since mayonnaise...

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SHIRKING THE GHERKIN

You could splice it, or dice it
Mayonnaise it up and nice it
Alas, one thing is for certain 
She will as shirk the gherkin

Indiana Shaw . . . 

"And it's no use chucking "em at the dog either, he hates them too" . . . : /...

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Two pieces of yummy toast.

Spread with your  favorite mayonnaise.

Add bacon, m-m m crisp and fried.

Next,lettuce that came from heaven!

Finally,red, ripe, luscious tomatoes.

My hands are already shaking!

The BLT sandwich, a delectable, foodie's treat.

          12/16/2020

...

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I fell in a maelstrom of Skonivie
                                            A blue whale ran after me
                                          She had yellow mustard legs
                                          I hurled  mayonnaise at her
                                          And sadly she became a poet....

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Mustache sandwiches if you please
I am confused but a second 
Then I jump on the band wagon
What about mouse whisker sandwiches?
Mortified muffin sandwiches?
Meager mayonnaise sandwiches?
Now to turn this into a poem somehow.
I sit and stare as a marigold sandwich takes a bite out of my leg.
That works I think.
Writing it down....

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SALAD

         Grilled capsicum, shrimp to take.
           with grilled potato.
           Add salt, lemon and then shake
            with grilled tomato,
           Then to mix mayonnaise 
               and please
                 Cheese.


           
   06/07/22

What’s Cooking on the grill this summer

Contest by M.L.Kiser....

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Just chewing a FRESH tomato
from off my potted plant
babied it all winter long
mmmmmm tastey
in a trance

sucking my teeth
smacking my lips
getting every DE LI CI OUS morsel
the mayonnaise has graced the space
between the bready foursome!

Just chewing a RIPE tomato
grew all by myself
lickin’ all the juicy juice
off my salt fingered self!...

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Open the can
slice it ever so thin
Fry it in a big pan
crisp as bacon
White bread fluffy as a cloud
so soft with each bite a smile
Mayonnaise spread it thick
on both slices as the trick
Layer Spam pile on high
taste buds won't be denied
With each bite a tasty chew
every morsel satisfying you
Nothing in a small tin can
is as tasty is fried Spam....

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Nothing really hits the spot
like fresh-made veggie dip.
All those green and crunchy things;
it really is a trip.

There are always mushrooms, too,
to add a little zest.
Of course, they don't really crunch,
but I like them best.

I make my dip with sour cream
then add the mayonnaise,
garlic, onion and fresh chive;
it really does amaze.

9/2/16...

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Losing my keys can be unsettling.
Not nearly as much as finding a human skull.
Waking up naked in church is a
reoccurring dream.
Pleasant is the day when a severed finger
is found in a jar of mayonnaise
Hidden is the fact 
I lost my job at the funeral home.
For showing up on my day off.
I blush at the sight of adult diapers.
Whose keys are these?




9/21/18...

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it’s a matter of
where your thumb was
when Thumbelina walked
into your toll-point

this voice
is as abrasive
as children in the park
where larks perch

in cold not sheltered
by old prostitutes
in gold with cats
and salad on mayonnaise

these winter suns
are prophylactic
‘Aurora’
on photographs
of my father and mother
long dead

like empty bottles
where cockroaches have tread...

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Pumpkin seeds were sown with the maize,
Few steps away from the city highways,
Seedlings showed up after few days,
And started growing hastily on the clays,
One fine morning I was admiring sunrays,
Eating garlic bread with mayonnaise,
I saw a flock of goats heading to the bays,
Suddenly they entered into the pumpkin field via sideways,
In no time field got grazed and razed,
Left me baffled, upset and amazed....

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**A Sweet Waltz**

As I kissed her lips
tasting her candy glaze
she bended ever so slowly
for a little of this mayonnaise.
And I said arise baby, 
don't stay in that stance.
stand up, we'll embrace
and start this love dance.

A freestyle by a dear friend of mine who gave me permission to post this.
I hope you all enjoy. Please, he wants to hear your opinion.... He will be reading..... 


Samuel Brooks
1/19/2010
"Chocolate WoW."...

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There are Jaipur vegetables
in my new home,
Craisins, clover honey,
and maybe twenty different teas.
Pastas, Clabber Girl,
Real Mayonnaise and Agave Nectar;
things with names like
Kashi and Bumble Bar,
with canisters of cocoa, coffee
and Whole Foods Shake
vanilla flavored,
Green Vibrance (what is that?)
and Whey Protein Powder
also flavored vanilla.
But there is no vanilla,
and I'm searching for love. 


Something written a year ago that I recently stumbled back upon....

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