Short Jalapenos Poems

Jalapenos 
Slice by slice
Burns my tounge
Feels so nice...

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Bestowal with the whole enchilada
eliminates having to choose
between oatmeal
and jalapenos....

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Life isn't like a bowl of cherries. It's more like a jar of Jalapenos.
Be careful what you indulge today. It may burn your ass tomorrow....

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Eating jalapenos, boy did I sing
Mouth was on fire so was my ring
Burnt going in one way 
And out the in the same day
Which end do I cool first in the gushing water spring...

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That age-old question, “Is there life on Mars”
It will soon be answered, large creatures on all fours?
With very large beanos
And extra long jalapenos
Another big question, do they smoke Cuban cigars?...

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Quiche If You Please
Quiche
Love your eggs
Jalapenos? Oh, yes please!
Tomatoes? Hundreds.
Onions? Yum Yum.

Quiche
Broccoli and Bacon
Quiche
Mexican or American

Quiche
Love your eggs
Love your texture
Love your crust!
Yum Yum...

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I used to eat jalapeno peppers,
 banana peppers, and 
tomatoes galore.


Hot spicy and
 “oh my gosh” foods
 is what I simply and
 absolutely adore.


Prime rib? Okay 
but beef cake it in
 horseradish, and I mean
 straight, not in a
 dumbed down sauce.

My ulcerated esophagus
 and spastic colon 
are now apparently
 my boss....

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give me some fried chicken,
as greasy as grease can be;
with fried taters on the side,
who's worried about fat free?!

give me a breast of chicken,
cooked in gran'ma's lard;
make sure that bird's extra crusty,
'cause i like my chicken hard!

bring on the jalapenos,
so hot i can hardly speak;
now tell mama to call my job,
i'll be sick for at least a week!...

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Satan in my bowels
All I can say is 'ow'
Cringing and churning
My biscuits are burning
I’m praying for relief
Some sort of lanolin leaf
Wondering why I wasn’t born
Before the devil had horns 
Squatting in the bush
Mourning my tortured tush
Asking when trees portend
Charmin is our friend
So if you hear me cry
Shouting Jalapenos must die
Remember that camping is fun
Except when nature’s on the run...

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Pickled ham and pickled beef
Cause weak stomachs too much grief


Did you know they pickle cherries
Grandma ate some; said three Hail Marys


In glass jars, store pickled tomatoes
Do not try this with wet potatoes


Russians all swear by pickled herring
Grate in radish and schmaltz if you are daring


Pickling cucumbers are oh-so-fresh and cute
Try pickled jalapenos; you will fart and toot


My favorite thing of all's to pickle eggs
They make my little sister choke and gag...

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