Short Jacked Poems

A spider’s blood is clear and pure.
Transparent and there is no cure.
Odd that would research this weird fact.
Maybe my mind is crazily distorted and jacked....

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Max Mason operated a jackhammer
in a reckless and dangerous manner.
He made threats with the machine
until a sheriff came on the scene:
Max and hammer are in a slammer....

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Caught in the act
his will cracked when
he jacked the bus.

Making a fuss
with a cuss he
blamed us and lied.
 
With loss of pride
tears he cried, still
they fried his hide.


02/16/16...

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Far away from your ancient moor,
     I feel your thoughts call for my soul
and transport me to Eden's door!
     Can musings like yours divinely toll,
beguiling me onto your shore
     like the gods who read from a scroll?......

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America has been hi-jacked 
By the mainstream media
Reality now distorted,
  —and the truth scorned

Soundbites of political daggers
Impale a Constitution so wounded
Where patriots are held hostage,
  —as Lady Liberty mourns

(Villanova Pennsylvania: November, 2015)...

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hi-jack my haiku?
Hah! You jacked the wrong ku
You stole a senryu

I hide my haikus
safe and sound beneath silly
senryus such as this

Hark and heed this Hank!
Stealing somebody’s senryu
is scandalous but

heisting a haiku?
holding a haiku hostage?
That's horrible Hank...

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Beat up old Ford,
along the freeway,
rear end jacked,
flat tire is off,
the trunk is open
and the dentritus
of a life exposed.
Clothes, empty brake 
fluid cans,
children's toys,
a paper back book,
loose pages dancing
in the traffic,
flat spare tire and
tools left lying
impotent in a frozen
moment....

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Horny
Corny

Kinky 
Stinky

Stoned
Boned

Holden 
Folding

His biz
Takes wizz

Hit can
Effed man...

Found hoe
No dough

Name sun
Big buns

No clothes
Touch toes

She roared
She sore

More dough
Said no

Pimp slap
Got jacked

(If you have read the Catcher in the Rye you would understand)....

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The most wonderful time of the year
brings to some a unique kind of cheer.
When the eggnog gets “Jacked,”*
the good humor they lacked
makes them blabber to everyone near.


*Jack Daniel's is a brand of Tennessee whiskey.

December 2, 2022
Contest: A Funny Christmas or December Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest Sponsor: Tania Kitchin...

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Lake Breaking News

Early this morning, there was a robbery
A turtle mugged a snail down by the pond
The shell the turtle jacked, was off the poor snail's back
and when he turned around, the thief was gone

He went down to the station, after much deliberation
And told the cops his story at last.
With such a keen depiction, they asked for a description
But, the snail said it happened much to fast...

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Inspiring my heart to bring out the best,
Filling me with love past the test,
No misspelled words within the rhyme,
Struck a chord, and let love fly,
The beat of your heart knocked in tune,
This song prepared to make you move,
The volume jacked up, you feel it inside,
The vibration telling you your hearts still alive,
No longer will you take it for granted,
Or get lost within the fantasies bondage,...

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im sorry that i hurt you
im sorry that you cried 
im sorry that i'll never be 
what you want to have 
im sorry tha you cant forgive me
im sorry that your mad
im sorry i ruined your perfect life 
im sorry that your not
im sorry i could not be an angel
im sorry that i didnt try
im sorry that im so jacked up
im sorry i got on drugs
im sorry i started to drink
but im not sorry that i did it 
cause that was a blast!...

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NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED  
                     

             A favor for a neighbor...
. 
            Following the map , listening to a tune
            Suddenly, a mishap,  Car-jacked by a goon!
            Took my keys and hit the breeze
            Such a little punk, the jokes on you
            When you open the trunk, Boo Hoo Hoo
            Squirt, squirt, squirt
            EWWWW , Bet that Skunk Stunk!...

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Half Alpaca, it spits if I dare kiss Cathy's ruby lips.
It plants a jacked-up rhubarb stalk,
a stiff stalking walk
if I dare roan hands over
my lovers compliance.

Cathy’s cat is much loved by itself
and also by the silky paws of its owner.
I think it may be transforming into a Burmese python
or something more slinky, sneaky, and lower.

As for I, it shows its one scorning pink eye
as it struts away
tail up, exposing a cool distain
as arrogantly possessive as any ‘fork you’ flag....

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