Short Hattie Poems

I went searching for hattie pattie
But found scarfy larfy
With a pin
Moved on to henny penny 
Who said the sky was fally wally...

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There was an old woman called Hattie
whose hubby's name for her was fattie.
So she cooked his goose
hung him from a noose
then buried him in a cow pattie!...

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One dark evening, Hat-less Hattie,
Took a walk with her cattie.
She didn’t see the thing fly down;
Bat attached itself to her crown; 
Hat-less Hattie’s locks are now Matty!
...

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When I was young, I loved to see
The Carry On films on TV.
Their humour risqué, slapstick, fun, 
And every line a clever pun.
With Kenneth Williams, Sid James,
And Hattie Jacques: all household names.
In hospital, a camp or fort,
The Carry On team looked for sport.
I think of them and start to smile;
I miss their zany madcap style.

Jack Horne
The Carry On films for Michael’s contest...

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Horrible Hattie had seen her own ghost
While chomping away at Porky Pig's Roast --
   She turned wan and pale
   Downed a mug of ale --
Her translucence scared Petunia the most

Hattie staggered to her feet, looked around
The room was whirling, at times upside down --
   As she started to speak
   Her teeth rattled, 'Eek 'Eek' --
Porky's wife shrieked and ran straight out of town




Note: Petunia Pig is Porky's wife. lol....

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She asked me to dance.
Matter-of-factly, led me
Held my eager hands -
She ruled, and I followed.
Cling to smell of cinnamon, while
She saw dark chocolate, craving to be had.
Neat and tidy as she, speaking.
Charting language of love, virginally.

Naturally, I clamored.
Loving everything of Geraldine
But granny said, "girls don't dance with girls."
She seemed twelve, and I, eleven, sat carefree.
Then Granny and Hurricane Hattie stepped in
Changed trajectory of our love.

*...

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