Short Dumpy Poems

I wanna be a wallaby
And not just a wanna-be,
Not a kangaroo or 
Silly platypus

But, if I can’t be a wallaby
I think that I would wanna be
A plump and dumpy
Hippopotamus!
...

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Ted’s frigid wife was fat and dumpy -
he never got his rumpy pumpy
Ted took his neighbor Faye
for a roll in the hay
his livid wife wasn’t half grumpy!


5/18/19

9,9,6,6,9...

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FLU

Well   guess I was due
Feeling dumpy    hot and chill
A touch of the flu

But have things to do
Can world survive without me?
Head aches    full of spew

My bod feels like lead
The world can wait a spell
I’m going to bed!...

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!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s  rockin’ cool man from Plain Wreckage 
who surfed chat rooms with lewd language 
cables flashed girly porno
wifey caught him nude solo
chopped dumpy oldie’s 4-inch sausage!


-----------------------



**uh, oh... no offense to the guys here, lol!
well, that's what  women can do
which high-tech cannot do :)

______________...

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If I was a young carpenter bee
I would bore in each and every tree
create a big tunnel
where family would funnel
If I was a carpenter bee

But if I was a cockchafer,
I would live a little safer,
I would hide my grubs,
for three years in muds,
If I was a cockchafer.

If not extinct, I would be a Dodo.
With my dumpy hooked bill, just so.
I would be “why-ing”
My wings aren’t flying
Bee, Bug and Fowl, don’t you know?...

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I will win this race I think forgetting that my body does not run.
I will dance my jeans off I believe forgetting I have a torn meniscus.
I will do a double triple quadruple skate move at the Olympics I brag.
My ankles groan, they are filled with arthritis now.

I will climb that mountain so high!
My lungs laugh, reminding me of our asthma
I will win all the marathons in the continental USA
Unless this frumpy dumpy flesh body holds me back....

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"I go to Burning Man every year," Timidia told us.
My husband and I nearly spit out our coffee.
She was an accountant, unassuming, dumpy.
She wore shirts with plastic pen protectors.

Timidia attended Burning Man!
What?
In those clothes? I asked her.
She shook her head, no.  "In no clothes at all"

I now picture her in a whole new way.
Wishing that she weighed a teensy bit less.
I go too, her Bohemian husband said.
He has hair down to his hoo-hah. No surprise here....

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"I go to Burning Man every year," Timidia told us.
My husband and I nearly spit out our coffee.
She was an accountant, unassuming, dumpy.
She wore shirts with plastic pen protectors.

Timidia attended Burning Man!
What?
In those clothes? I asked her.
She shook her head, no.  "In no clothes at all"

I now picture her in a whole new way.
Wishing that she weighed a teensy bit less.
I go too, her Bohemian husband said.
He has hair down to his hoo-hah. No surprise here....

Read More