Fourth Shard
I need to clean
Who’s gonna clean?
What do I do?
I can not move
I’m tired
I need to rest
Five minutes
Please
I’m tired
I need to rest
Please be quiet
I’m trying to rest
Shhhhh
Just five minutes
I’ll clean in five minutes
I need rest
Rest
Mindwipe
My childhood was tainted in a single moment
In an instant
It happened so fast
And unable to go back
Turn back time
To change that very
Moment
Third Shard
But black
I could clearly see where the past dried
And the new began
I need to clean this dried blood
Before more comes
Damage control
Before I could even
I collapse
I’ve lost too much
I can’t move
What’s happening ?
What do I do ?
I need to clean
“There’s nothing left.”
With the strength I have left
I take a large shard of glass
And cut my forearm
No red
I cut again
Nothing
I cut again
And again
And again
Nothing
There’s nothing left
But scars
A shell
Second Shard
Shattered glass dipped in red
I forget about the glass
And begin to clean the blood
And that stings too
Causing more
And more
And more
It won’t stop
First the time of the past
Then shattered glass
Then blood
Then shattered glass dipped in red
And more blood
When will it stop?
I don’t know what to do
What do I do?
Everything I do makes it worse
I’m trying to clean
I’m trying to make it better
Nothing is working
What do I do?!
I finally stop trying
I lay in my pool of blood and glass
Staring into the black abyss
Feeling my shattered glass dipped in red surround me
“Be still” echos through the space
I lay there
Quiet
Not moving an inch
Staring blankly
Who’s going to clean ?
There’s glass everywhere
I need to clean
And I began to clean again
Picking up the shattered glass
Cutting my hands
Ignoring the blood coming from them
My mind fills with blood again
Filling up
I begin to notice the past was no longer red
First Shard
My childhood was tainted in a single moment
In an instant
It happened so fast
And unable to go back
Turn back time
To change that moment
To continue the purity
For the purity to last all through my childhood
Giving it no room for flaws
Maybe then my adulthood could be saved
Saved from the filth from the past
Maybe then my life wouldn’t be burdened In such a way
Fill my child self with other issues to carry
Because these,
Right now,
Is too much?
Mind broken
Like glass that was shattered
Pieces scattered throughout my mind
Cutting my delicate fingers as I try to pick up the pieces
The smallest pieces I can hardly see are what hurt the most
They catch me by surprise
It stings
But yet I continue to clean the mess
The mess I did not make
When I get close to being done
The ones I can not see sting
I frantically search for what seems to be invisible pieces
Bleeding more and more
Forgetting I am bleeding
No
Ignoring I am bleeding
Because the mess needs to be cleaned
It needs to be spotless
But now a new mess arises
I take notice to the blood that has filled my mind
And now
Another mess to be cleaned
Blood
Everywhere
Packing up
with nowhere to go.
Feeling out of control.
Realizing everyone around me
had me as their piece on a board.
Now that I know
what do I do with that?
Feeling in control,
still with no place to go.
Can't move, I'm stuck to the floor.
I am a shard,
Remnant of a broken family portrait.
Jagged and rough,
But oddly complete
I am a shard,
Shattered platter at supper.
Lamb is the main course,
A sacrificial offering to mend what was
I am a shard,
No longer complete.
My jagged edges
Sever all mutual emotion
I am a shard,
Translucent and brittle.
My hard exterior is see-through
And I break easily.
Waited for a perfect moonbeam
To filter through the night
Shimmering silver like a dream
To catch as if starlight.
Shard and silk
take your turn
enter into the hue...
of a spinning urn.
It's ok to weep.
To make a pond of salt.
For when love buckles
under ice blown mountains
it may not be your fault.
Shard and silk.
write your love song in silence.
Stoke the mental cord.
Back pedal into time
Far beyond when you were born.
Truth travels at the speed of light.
Catch it if you will.
If you don't, it doesn't mean that you've failed.
It means you're willing to go for it-to die for it.
Shard and silk.
In the warmth of God-driven tongues.
Ice mountain feeds the pond.
It.
It's ok to pass gracefully.
to eat life like a wild beast
to bloom- to wilt
to list on the wind carved cusp of time.