Sarcastically Poems | Examples

Ode to the Voice I Never Wanted to Hear

Oh, the joy of telemarketers,
Who call you up without a care,
With offers they believe are clever,
But really just provoke despair.

They call with grand insurance plans,
Covid kits and credit schemes,
As if I’m some prized target
For their automated dreams.

“End-of-life” expense protection —
Oh, what a cheery nightly theme!
I nod along sarcastically
Inside my caller-haunted dreams.

And then there’s Medicare, of course,
A topic I now know too well,
Yet still they bring fresh nonsense
With each new tale they sell.

They ring at noon, at dawn, at dusk,
And even in the dead of night,
It seems they’ve sworn a solemn vow
To haunt me till I lose the fight.

So here’s my ode to all of you
Who call with no remorse or thought:
If you don’t cease this madness soon,
I’ll scream until my brain is shot.

Your calls are cruel and unwanted,
And frankly, they just make me sick.
So do the world a service now —
And kindly stop being a prick.

A Bad Day For Todd

Not all poems are happy
Some are sad and some are sappy
This poem is so odd
It's about a boy whose name was Todd

Todd has hair that is very ginger
He wears a ring right on his finger
His skin is so so soft and fair
He wears sunglasses everywhere

Today Todd's day was awfully horrid
He woke up and he burnt his porridge
He tried to go put on his shoe
But his angle twisted and broke in two

Todd screamed and wailed VERY loud
Outside his house there was a crowd
"HELP ME HELP ME" Todd yelled
None of the people were compelled

With the smell of fire in the air
Todd hobbled over to a chair
He grabs his phone to dial a number
9-1-1, oh what a wonder

Suddenly there's a surprise
the fire alarm goes off and cries
"THIS IS GREAT" says Todd sarcastically
His day is going worse and worse, very drastically

With the bone still sticking out of his foot
He feels a drop of sweat. Todd's shook. 
Slowly he begins to faint. 
He didn't know today would be his last day.

Hidden Accounts

Administrator incommunicado
Acknowledging nymphomaniacs
Reclassifying philosophical
Ideologically Transcultural
Pronunciation Calligraphers
Communication demilitarized
Grandstanding orchestration
Carpetbagging adjudications
Redistributed improprieties
Abolitionists brinksmanship
Sarcastically realistically
Craftsmanship flabbergasted
Enlightenment librarianship
Democratically

Sir

,,indeed?", he hit the ground with the with stick two times.
Just one eye behind his hat is staring at me in small size.
,,sorry, just wanted to pass through", 
,,who are you?
Always here are boys like you in a few standing at the hall, a Crew."
,,Just a student, why? Had happend something due?"
The man was in his early 30's definetly, he didn't seem he broke his leg, so why does he drag something like that with him?
His eyes make his face 50years older, even though he has no wrinkles.
While he Talks you notice smile lines but he seems to try to cover it up as good as possible.
But he smiled a little.
Did he mean that sarcastically because I am here so late out?
,,No, sorry, forget it, have a good day"
I swear I saw the little smile before but now his smile just shut completely down.
At the same time the sun Was covered in clouds.
Now you could just see shadows surrounding him.

WRY

Her answer was sarcastically wry
The look she gave out made me cry
Something so simple, went so wrong
I started to toot my own horn
Her eyes rolling made me sigh

Self Destructive

I'm self destructive a ticking time bomb
I'm impatient and impulsive with a lot of feelings
Mixed into  a delicious cocktail so sweet and creamy
sure does taste good at first but after so many sips of me
I'm too intense for you too heavy on you
now you put me down thinking I'm not good for you
you say baby its not you its me but I know all too well

"baby its not you its me" says my anxiety sarcastically 
My heart cries as my brain just stands there and watches

Now I'm just half drunk and feeling empty
Like u took something from me 
Now I'm here wishing you could pour back into me
Like you needed me, when I ruined it
Now your just a lesson when i look back at it

The Theory

I wish to be reborn
of the body, you are tormented with anger today 
from your spectacular misfortunes 
in the infinite stone 
you fight with yourself 
with mirrors that smile sarcastically 
you smile tenderly 
invent the mornings 
I must be a little above 
ignore the sheets 
you are overshadowing me in your fierce longing 
at night 
grow under my heart 
over the breasts that seem
from different hemispheres 
you reunite it-

This is how the Universe appeared.

Part of the Herd

If I repeat a common thought
If I regurgitate a popular word
Or, if I remain quiet
Does it make me part of the herd?

The herd that thinks the same thoughts
They recapitulate the same words
Or, they remain quiet
A pot never gets stirred

I prefer to ask question
I don't want to believe, I want to know why
Yet every time I ask
I'm sarcastically met with a sigh

God gave me a brain
To think, love, and to grow
Where my thoughts end
I guess that's a place I don't even know?

You see life's full of uncertainties
Full of mysteries that go undefined
But remember, the moment you name it
The mystery becomes your story, not mine

So, I'll continue to seek
Holding tight to the truth that I know
But, when I learn otherwise
I have to have the resolve to let go

Or else, I'm holding on to emotion
Like a jeweler trying to sell fake gold
It may help in the moment
But ultimately, it cripples the soul 

So, think a new thought
Question every single word
Never remain silent
Don't become part of the herd?

Pathway

I smiled today,
Guess! Why?
You may say:
I was probably happy today.
By the way,
I always smile sarcastically 
Mostly I'm moody,
Eventually!
Today!
My smile was exposed largely, 
The moment you streamed my scenery;
And it made me smile for the whole day,
Full of joy!
Just because one day:
You flashed my pathway.

Adapting

Peter and I are together and we’re in a grove.
Time is our treasure, precious and dwindling.

I watch for signs of the future unfolding, 
like a twitch that might be the first sign of a stroke.

Answers will come - slowly - or they’ll parachute in from nowhere.
We spend a lot of time together but most of it is spent studying.
We both have silences that shouldn’t be penetrated.

I have so many questions, but I keep them at a safe distance, 
so I don’t feel the need to interact with them.

All I know is we’re alive, and we still have to dance.
It's not always fun, operating in the face of uncertainty
but what else can we do - except go through the motions?

“When exactly did the world lose its collective mind?” I asked, reading the news on my iPad.

Peter looked up from the book he was highlighting with a phosphorescent pink pen.

“They’ve found toxic metals in CHOCOLATES. Everywhere.” I announced, like that Poe bird.

“I guess we’re canceling chocolate then,” he said, sarcastically, “we’ll adapt.”

“Yeah, you bet.” I said with genuine irony.

Hope

The man wondered, "What is hope?"
Metacognition defined, it's nothing but a dope.
The heart objected to the proposition.
And told it's an ambiguous anticipation.
The prefrontal cortex made the reasoning disentwine.
And equated hope with the level of dopamine.
The enterochromaffin cells rejected the cortical rationality.
And signified serotonin's vitality.
Posterior pituitary smiled sarcastically.
And illustrated oxytocin's role affectionately.
The man woke up out of this exasperation.
Though dream, but intrigued by the imagination.
He asked," Is hope just a chemical state?"
Consciousness whispered it's not that straight.

Snowed

It snowed last night which pleased me - but hardly enough - it just teased me.

The thin, white sheet of snow looked bright and fresh 
the dull, browned hedges of fall became holiday dressed, 
the air had a sharp, chill perfume and the ground a new, sparkling flesh.

Lisa, a New Yorker who knows snow, gawked at me as if I were insane,
“You’re excited by NOTHING,” she sarcastically complained.

I replied, “When it snows there’s a quiet solace, and the world looks clean and flawless.”

The weatherman is promising us a blanket of snow this weekend
and that would be nice, a storm of ice, to lock us in as the week ends.

Death Reminds Me

Death reminds me
By Michelle Morris
12/11/2022

As December draws nearer
I know that anniversary is looming
Honestly, I don't want to face it
Another reminder that you're gone

There are too many anniversaries
When Death reminds me of its reach
It's claws and scythe wave sarcastically
My frenemy from the ethers

I have respect and understanding
For its part in this Universe
I have so much experience
Our relationship isn't usually terse

But, there are these specific dates
That mark the loss of loved ones
When I am reminded that
They are cut off from mortal arms

And I feel the loss of love
The loss of warmth and kindness
Even though I may logically know it's silly
I still miss those good times

Despite the years and distance 
Heartache and forgotten trauma 
I always loved you through it all 
And I still miss you, my dear mom

© Michelle Morris, 2022

Hoc Est Corpus

Hoc est corpus*, hocus pocus
Legerdemaine, a shift in focus
Hoc est corpus, from the Mass
Hocus pocus, parody crass
Transubstantiation phrase
Ridicule, to baser plays 
Papists, Protestants at odds
Declaring doctrines with regards
To our Lord’s communinion meal
Causing strife, divisions real
Luther replaced trans with con
Zwingli’s bread, alone anon
Calvin said we participate,
Joined to Christ when we partake
Hocus Pocus, thus a slur
“Magical”, what was inferred.
After Christ’s blood, more was shed
Strange remembrance, but ‘nuf said…

----------

*Hoc est corpus meum, Latin for ‘This is my body’

From what I can find, Hocus Pocus was the stage name for a magician who performed around 1640. Somewhere along the way, someone noted a similarity of sound between 'hoc est corpus' and 'hocus pocus', and observed (sarcastically) that the Catholics must believe magic occurred during the reciting of the mass to change the wine and bread into the blood and body of Christ...

My Wish Would Come True

When I go out, people smile with their stretched jaws
But the moment I turn, they mock at me for no cause.
        
On my achievements, my fellow-men shower applauses in tons.
But in my absence, utter sarcastically with their forked tongues.

At times, my neighbors shower unwanted sympathy.
Secretly they reason my actions differently.

They seek my help and send requests with a pleasing heart. 
Behind the curtain, they congratulate themselves for being smart.

The vendors fill my basket with one or two spoilt fruit
Cheat and swagger how cleverly they can loot

I believe that they are really praising my nobility.
For not greasing their palms, with me they develop hostility.

They say ‘correct’ when I raise my voice against misappropriations
Off the record, warn me for poking my nose in those conversations.

I pray the Lord...Let’s be blessed 
With right impressions, right thoughts and right deeds which mark us the best.



PLACED : 3rd
If only my wish would come true Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Anoucheka Gangabissoon
Date: 18-06-2022.

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