Animal Rude Poems

My mom has eyes like a hawk. 
They‘re in the back of her head. 
In town, she told me not to gawk.
I followed down the...

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And The Winner Is Miss Poultry (Country-Crossover Lyric)
so, tell me,
how does it feel
to be, so, finger licken good

you've, been puck, and tuck
from the neck,
down, to...

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Clowns at the Abyss

I’m not a communist,
I’m a Democratic Socialist
Cries the independent Elitist

It’s a right to have healthcare
It’s a right to have welfare
Yet, funding for...

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Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Projectile diarrhea!...

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Be aware of the Cougar, the big mountain Cat
Now I know you like mounting, but your just a Pussy Cat
I sometimes think you’re Horsey, and...

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Laugh at feelings.
     Scramble 'round.
     Jump!  Jump!!  Up.
     Then twitch the...

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Eat a tater, alligator
Stupid smile, crocodile
See you later, Mater-Pater
After while, stinking pile.

Minotaur and Gabriel
Monitor and Gariel
Eat the layman, pretty cayman
Quite the romp, in the swamp....

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There once was a turtle named Myrtle
Stuck in a plastic ring girdle
It altered her mass
Into an hourglass
Leaving her deformed and infertile....

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Aardvark Limerick

An Aardvark living in Timbuktu,
Raised his finger and said,” screw you”
Why so rude, I said back,
Lovely manners you do lack.

So, to reciprocate, I gave...

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An idyllic Saturday evening scene-
on our street, little kids play
‘touch and go’.  Excited shrieks
and laughter warm the chilled February air, 
pavement alive with little...

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