You know you've hit rock bottom for sure
when you find your track
in a used record store
under a stack at the very back
of the ten pee CD rack
(does anyone buy them anymore?)
and you know you've hit the all-time low
it's a sure bet
when you don't see your song
in any list at all
on the worldwide internet
rock bottom don't get lower than that
from up to down at the drop of a hat
better to be a has-been a player in the game
than a never-was because
they may have been the best of times
and tho' memories will last
I won't spend the rest of my days
living in the past
Rock bottom is a dark lonely place
One people will pray to never see
It's overflowing with the lowest lows
Reminding you of a life full of misery
The select few who are exiled there
Forced to travel God's forsaken road alone
With potholes of pain and lanes of loneliness
This road is where desperation is grown
By the time you notice it will be too late
You will be past any chance of any return
Down this road to a hell on earth
To a pain far worse then a fires burn
Your friends you had will shun you
And worse yet their family will too
Leaving you broken, lonely and scared
Because of the things you chose to do
In the weakest moment of your life
When you need a shoulder to lean on
The pain will overcome you when notice
Everyone that you love is now gone
Once this realization finally sinks in for you
You'll see you have reached your destination
There's a chance you get home safely
Or you will give into deaths determination
I am at rock bottom so I ask..
Are you real? Do you hear me?
I realize suffering is necessary
So we may turn to you..
Are you real? Do you hear me?
I am at rock bottom
The only place to look is up..
Are you real? Do you hear me?
I have waited so long in these depths
Any response negative or positive I will believe..
Are you real? Do you hear me?
Best not to be loved widely but deeply.
Not by peers but within oneself.
Love so deeply, down to the warmest part of the Earth’s core.
Rock Bottom.
Pressure so strong, darkness penetrates.
Breaks through the chest, sharpest pain.
Love so deeply, break through the chains.
Climb the stairs from floor to ceiling.
Seconds feel like hours.
Hours feel like days.
But to love so deeply, is to charge through that pain
from the Earth’s core to stars outside the atmosphere
from warm to cold
now from deep to wide
from Rock Bottom to whatever happiness looks like.
this poem’s so ultra deep ~ it leaves no room for a name underneath
———————————————————————————————————
day one
you woke
everything you thought you were before you closed your eyes and inhaled the dreams of your twisted line is discovered to be a lie
a falsehood, trickery, fabrication
disappearing behind a cloak of aberration
crawling on hands stuck to scarred wrists
pilfering life from dumpsters of deception
avoiding the glares of incandescent veneer
snubbing red streaked orbs within the mirror
you woke
purity of thoughts
not meant to be shifted, changed, sliced, diced, redefined, realigned
altered by a syringe of soiled crystalline
caressing an ignorant conscious
boasting to change God’s perfect design
you woke
celestial spirits scraping scales from your denying eyes
looking down to discover god created you
to look up knowing
One day, you woke
sober
For days without end my light was dim
Left battle-scarred by war within
Left heavy by this heart of sin
Left broken by the days begin
Though the warmth of sun kissed my face
I chose to wander in the darkest space
Watching the world in a flurried pace
As what was left all fell from grace
Held between palm and hand
I watch it fall like grains of sand
One by one without command
Until the dark in me could understand
The pieces left could scatter light
From every angle of every plight
No matter how the dark would fight
Each piece reflected hues so bright
I gathered all the shards to see
The beauty made from my debris
Yes the dark still stirs and calls to me
But the light within shall break me free
Rock bottom rockstar
you know who you are
Too many pills and alcohol
Instagram streamed it all
New tour bus and VIP’s
first rehab in Tennessee
Fell off stage when you overdosed
hit your head was comatose
Biggest fan saved your life
praise the Lord he brought his wife
Stopped the bleeding just in time
at the House Of Blues in Anaheim
Consider this your wake-up call
give thanks no fatal fall
Why do you think HE sent her in
you rose up once and will again
Welcome back to reality
life is short no guarantees
Learn your lesson
and count your blessings
Go tell your story in HIS name
forget about all the fame
Rock bottom rockstar
You are gonna go far
when i hit rock bottom
when i hit rock bottom..
i was exalted
i didn't know what to expect
i was depressed and dejected
how could i possibly..
how unjust it is...
but i think i should accept it
hitting rock bottom
maybe in the near future
this rock bottom where i am now
will be the foundation
of the better me
and a better life for my family..
And once again it happened,
I took to long to make a choice,
Now I am back down on rock bottom,
I should've listened to that little voice,
The one that kept telling to let go,
Change yourself before it's to late,
But since I have such a hard head,
I've reached bottom on this date,
Don't feel sorry for me though,
For now I think its for the best,
I need to get my mind back straight,
And slowly figure out the rest,
I know it's my fault for being here,
I should've changed before I fell,
Since I didn't do that once again,
I've brought myself closer to hell,
I'm not going to lie to you but,
I feel I really need to stay this low,
So when it's time for me to get up,
I'll know exactly which way to go!!
7/7/19
Stand and flight, or fly and flee,
The two choices we face.
Stand unmoving,
Or fly above.
Trampled by the world,
Torn to pieces by your “friends,”
Your family.
Facing it in solitude,
Going through it alone.
Take to the sky,
Avoiding the stones and javelins.
Finding the strength to continue,
To survive.
But a stone clips your wing,
The exhaustion takes over,
And you’re left free falling
Falling back to Earth,
To hit rock bottom.
The end of the world,
Cold and alone.
The top so far away,
With no strength left to fly,
I lie in the dark and die.
At the Bottom's dropped out.
I'll write to you
the end of the story.
The only one i know.
Sundown on a field of dandelions.
No step closer to rapture,
I smiled with no hurry
when i found myself here,
at the bottom's dropped out.
It never rests.
not even when it's over.
Like stale conversation
without bread nor water.
A river martin's graceful flight.
My smile came easy
when i saw you here
at the bottom's dropped out.
Lampblack spills on a white canvas,
like a clock running out of time.
The mood a smile brings on,
it never has to die.
Dustup Old Frisian theological nonsense.
The clouds burst with meaning
at the bottom's dropped out.
Like a sun spot on the Sun
Life stands still
as seasons change.
It’s not worth winding up the long rewind
of a slippery slope
towards yesterday’s face another time.
Let's have last seen each other here
At the bottom's dropped out.
Remembering where you are and have been
Others may not see when you are struggling
Crying in the dark laughing in the morning
Knowing the strength that it has taking you
But there were times when you lost strength
Others tried to help you for you to shun them
The struggle you were facing were your alone
Those mountains were not insurmountable
Once you saw that you could start climbing
Made you muster up a life renewing strength
I was told rock bottom is a sad place,
a land full of misery and disgrace.
Rock bottom wasn’t bad at all,
I had quite a joyful ride taking that fall.
Lessons were learned in that enchanting city.
It taught me how to be grateful and not to wallow in self pity.
Everyone should visit Rock Bottom once or twice.
It is a great reminder of how amazing it is to be alive.
The most dazzling sight can be found at Rock Bottom’s pit,
just tilt your head up and you can see it.
A beacon of light that will sting your eyes,
rainbows that magically crystallize.
So, If you ever find yourself hitting Rock Bottom,
take heed that this is not an unfix-able problem.
Do not let yourself become distraught,
observe the lessons that will be taught.
Learn from them and let yourself grow,
to that beacon of light with the magnetic glow.
A heavy wheel turned on his life
when he spied on his errant wife.
Their marriage hit the bottom rocky
where he poured bottles of whiskey.
July 17, 2018
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