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Where's the Bottom

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Someone asked me what it meant to "find your bottom." Finding your bottom is painstakingly difficult. Especially, if we just keep denying we have a problem. There are "false" or "sub" floors that are not the depth of the addictions. A lot of us in recovery have found that we had more than a couple "false" floors. We aren't perfect and no one else is either. The dirt at the very bottom of our pit of addicitons is where you find true redemption. When you literally have nowhere else to turn but up and you find that God did not abandon you, you are finding new revelations about yourself. Isn't that incredible? He doesn't turn His nose up at us. No. He pulls us close, holds us, and kisses our head, ever reminding us that He knows we are not perfect and He loves us deeply! The dirt at the bottom is where change begins with finding those desires of the flesh are holding us in that well at the very bottom. With each passing day, with every gift of waking up, with every amends we make to Him and others...He walks with us as we pick up the pieces and hand them to Him. Surrender...total and complete loving surrender.

There is a bottom that is past what we thought we knew. The sub-floors are there for false safety and reason, too. When we get to the dirt under all the lies and find the reasons we want to stay alive, we are prepared to give it up and live instead of die. The dirt we find on the floor of our bottom is where the desires reside that have become our problem. We made the bed and messed it up. We tended to avert and try to give up. Until we see the dirt below we won't be able to reach up and let all else go. To be on this side of the dirt and thankful for every day is an amazing feeling knowing we are going to be okay. God puts an exit at every choice we make. A cross-roads of decisions that rock us like an earthquake. When we finally see our lives are unmanageable... that we can't do this on our own... give it to Him and watch the change unfold. Those chains that held us down are now the essence of our God-given crown. He melted, molded, and cleaned it all up. He placed it upon our heads to show us our inheritance. We will grow, live, love, and hurt. All of this and we will, one day, become as the dirt. No more pain, no more suffering, no more confusion, because it'll be time for us to get to extend our wings.

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