Funny Reindeer Poems

Rudolph had a brother, a redneck deer named Bart.
His nose only glowed when he would sneeze or fart.
Rudolph got sick; Santa had to call on...

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Santa’s reindeer were scared at his coughing bout
He had deadly corona infection they had no doubt
Leaving the sleigh they ran away as fast they could
Santa...

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Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Captures hearts when he does appear
To give Santa a shining light to lead him
So the Christmas cheer doesn’t ever dim

Rudolph the...

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How many reindeer does Santa have stabled?
Let's take the count, as in the fables.

If you count eight then you are off,
for that, I cannot but...

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Prancer gave Dasher a poke
It was so hard that he had to soak
His ribs were still sore
As he heads to the door
He pranced to the...

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An elf named Lotty lived in the North Pole, 
in charge of keeping Santa's fire in coal.
He lit, he shovelled, he scooped with delight, 
as...

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All I want for Christmas is a chainsaw
    and Stanley Black and Decker is the brand for me.
As my yard is skewed...

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Santa's New Team

Christmas Eve was coming
There was plenty to be done
There were protocols to follow
There were programs to be run

Presents needed wrapping
Elves had duties of...

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Old Rudolph was lazy this year.
Did not want to pull, that was clear.
He sulked in his stall
and started to bawl.
St. Nick had a problem, I...

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My last will and testament gives you all a giant farewell party, Rudolph said
Which made Dasher, Dancer, and Prancer, our biggest goofballs and I wish...

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Santa had an alcoholic reindeer
Who couldn't stop drinking warm beer --
   He'd drink malts and hops
   And popcorn he'd pop --
That...

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Now Rudolph is known for big red nose
Dasher and crew for highs not for lows
These gifts both need fuel
And it’s gas, by rule
All to poor...

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REINDEER
                        ...

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There was once a slaphappy reindeer
Who loved whisky, tequila and beer
She hitched up with a moose
When befuddled by booze 
Now she’s starting a mother’s career....

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a reindeer with hooves so thick
thought he would really be slick
gonna use an I-phone
to tease his good friend Gnome
pushing the buttons was a trick!

Written 12-14-2018...

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