COMING UP ON 47 YEARS ON PLANET EARTH, AND IT'S BEEN QUITE A JOURNEY. FROM MY EARLIEST MEMORIES OF GROWING UP ON SCOTT STREET IN SAN BRUNO TO BEING A WARD OF THE COURT UNTIL I TURNED 18. I WENT FROM JUVENILE HALL TO REHABS AND SPENT MOST OF MY TEENAGE YEARS LOCKED UP IN SOME FORM OR OTHER. I GREW UP WITH CHOLOS BIKERS, TWEEKERS, AND CONVICTS.
WHAT I HAVE LEARNED SO FAR IS THAT IN THIS LIFE, NOTHING IS GUARANTEED AND NOTHING LASTS FOREVER. I'VE LEARNED TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE GOOD AND THE BAD BECAUSE IT BUILDS CHARACTER AND IT MAKES ME UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT THAN ANYONE ELSE. MY WINS, LOSSES, BAD DECISIONS, SCARS, AND PAIN MAKE ME WHO I AM TODAY.
I PATIENTLY WAIT TO BE REUNITED WITH MY BOYS. BEING A FATHER HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BEST GIFTS THAT THE LORD HAS GIVEN ME.
I AWAIT TO SEE WHAT MY GOD HAS FOR ME IN MY NOT-SO-DISTANT FUTURE.
And Skadi had her way much snow today
Imparted volunteer job hopes soar high.
Each Thor’s day , a shining star in a black sky
Orange in my throat and gob smacked, what to say?
And never let the blighters beat you down
And the sawbones mention you cannot heal .
And show them I work with plenty of zeal
I am cook too at the depot uptown.
The doctors state see you are strong ,
We think you are weak ,die in a care home.
My star is dimming do I fight or take flight?
My job like an void vessel I felt dead
This must be the rehabs typical syndrome
Hard to feud with sawbones reason-they’re right
My mood tastes like bad lime pulled down by dread.
No Exit No Retreat
We CHARGE
Into love
There is
No RETREAT
It’s instant addiction
That cannot be
Beat
Love’s addiction
Is like no other
While trying to
Abstain
Forever
You’ll love her
There are
No rehabs
No 12 steps
If the arrow is true
There are
No Exits
Bill MacEachern August 14,2023
REHABS
Doctors and nurses
QUIET!
They say.
We live like mannequins,
Think like
Man kneel
KILL!
We are like zeros.
They prove to be heroes .
Real help or real herbs
We stay confused,
Civilization so we hear!
Real helps or rehabs
Drug full or drug free.
Our normal joys of life- now, ostracize;
shared, loving hugs, we're told to disavow.
Fond gatherings of friends and family
in cozy, close-knit groups- we abdicate.
No theaters open to view films or plays;
these gratifying pastimes- forsake now.
Just meeting with a friend for lunch to chat-
a thought we discontinue- disregard.
When leaving home for our essential needs,
near others, we surrender standing close;
discard the need to inhale full, fresh air-
while covered nose and mouth recycle breath.
So much we took for granted- now reject:
ditch strolling at the malls or galleries-
relinquish ceremonies of all types-
disclaim all sports events, rehabs, and gyms.
Our normal lives, we can't renounce too long-
or else we will forswear all hope itself.
We pray these missing blessings we regain-
no longer need to terminate our joys.
June 15, 2020
Contest: Thesaurus - Abandon or Abandoned
Sponsor: Dear Heart
Rules: Must use synonyms for the word "abandon"
or "abandoned," and they are italicized.
As a drinker i reflect on what i have lost
The price i have paid at such a terrible cost
My dignity my pride my marriage my health
My children my job my house my wealth
Its that part of the day again the part that i hate
My family wont be here wont even be late
I know they wont be here because of my lies
The deceit and the false truths the how’s and the whys
The years of me saying im stopping the drink
The damage ive done never stopping to think
Ive done all the rehabs on the hospital wards
The telling my children the we cant affords
Now in more ways than one im alone in the dark
Im left loveless homeless my bed is the park
And i know where will end my tale of woe
Lying face up on a cold slab With a label simply saying
John Doe
If i may ask why do you get high
You choose to look at the world through red glossy eyes
You use your substance to block out what is real
To ease all the pain and discomfort that you feel
Why can't you just accept things for the way they are
Can you not see that your life is falling apart
you say you control the substance but deep down it controls you
It plays a major role in everything that you do
Step back and take a look at what you've become
You put yourself in a pit just to have a little fun
Look at all the time,trouble,and energy at which you gave
You've traded your independence for a lead role as a slave
Well let me ask you why do you stay stay sober
Tell me whats so bad about being a stoner
You accept and belive everything society say's
And choose not to research things for yourself
Do you think you can gain all uderstanding and knowladge
By reading some books and going to collage
Why must you judge those who make diffrent decsions
You really think You can help me through rehabs and prisons
We can both sit here and debate all we'll do is get older
The truth lies behind the eye of the beholder
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