This just in,
earth is careening toward an asterisk,
speeding toward a footnote,
alien podiatrists are monitoring.
Elephants have moved in-land
refusing interviews to the press.
In other news,
sinkholes have been rescued
from children’s ears.
Cyclonic swirls of pelicans
have created a weather front
scientists are stumped.
Excuses from discredited experts
have been spotted
escaping back to Beijing.
Nothing may actually be true
except for the asterisks,
these random star-shaped symbols
are...
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