I went there at my own risk,
Destiny played an ugly trick.
Whirling like Eddies,
Tough and the unsteadies.
An unknown fear,
Nothing is that easier.
I haven’t played yet,
Time has no reversal gate .
So terrifying and disturbing ,
No end to these struggling.
Hearing a divine voice,
Echoes you and your choice.
Entered into being tempted,
Mistakes were restored and repeated.
Own selection and recreation,
Can’t expect an exemption.
I believe in natural justice,
Lives in harmony and peace.
Then a deep silence,
And a lifelong penance.
Soul seeks redemption,
To attain immortal salvation.
Categories:
penitence, inspirational,
Form: Rhyme
What never was rued when was said,
And even what no one did say
When strangely did hurt them today,
Fire in love had to show its red.
When stirring heart was laid afore,
And words of lips sweet nothing said,
But wispy eyes vaguely conveyed,
It reached straight to the deepest core.
Heart hears the hinted never said—
Even the faint stirrings of flesh,
Quiescent love if glows under ash,
Eyes tend to read the intended.
For, true remorse helps love endure,
As dormant love works out the cure.
________________________________________
Reminiscing |38.12.2020, revised Jan 2023| love
Poet’s note: The twosome had had their differences. Their heart was willing, mind, not so sure to forget the past, but love triumphed to endure.
Categories:
penitence, love, relationship,
Form: Sonnet
In penitence I bow down to his throne,
head bowed in shame, heart heavy with my sin.
My sobbing whispers heard by God alone
as I recount the ways my faith wears thin.
He gives a heart of flesh, and ears to hear,
for he who seeks the Lord will surely find.
Then in uncluttered silence God draws near;
His Word the Holy Spirit brings to mind:
“He saved us, not because of deeds we’ve done,
in mercy we are justified by grace”.
“Your sins have been forgiven” says the Son,
who proved his love by dying in our place.
The news is good – Christ’s hope we now employ,
That “those who sow in tears now reap in joy.”
// Scriptures referenced - Titus 3:5, Psalm 126:7 //
Categories:
penitence, forgiveness, hope, jesus, sin,
Form: Sonnet
painting: The Penitent Peter by El Greco
In penitence I kneel before your throne,
head bowed with shame, heart weighed down with sin,
my sobbing whispers heard only by God
recounting the ways I, like a sheep, have gone astray.
When I keep silent, my bones waste away
but when I acknowledge my sin to you, you forgive my guilt.
You are my hiding place,
you surround me with songs of deliverance.
Soften my heart and give me ears to hear
and eyes to see your goodness and mercy.
He who seeks the Lord will surely find -
in uncluttered silence God draws near,
the Holy Spirit brings to mind these words:
“He saved us, not because of deeds we’ve done,
in mercy we are justified by grace”
“If we confess our sins he is faithful and just and will forgive us
and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory,
surely you took our infirmities and carried our sorrows,
by your stripes we are healed;
those who sow in tears now reap in joy!
Written July 2020
Categories:
penitence, forgiveness, god, prayer, religious,
Form: Free verse
The first time that I cut myself,
I heard my mother distraught,
My father in denial, my sister
Blaming herself and my brother
Barely moving.
The second time that I cut myself,
I pictured a perfect day, a perfect
life. I pictured a grassland, a home
In between, smooth, gushing wind
And the calmness in it all.
The third time that I cut myself,
I couldn't gulp down the fact
That this is what I've become,
A monster sucking life
Out of people.
The fourth time that I cut myself,
I regretted cutting, the first time
That I did. I wrote an apology to
My future self and made promises
To not let my life get the best of me.
The fifth time that I cut myself,
I bled these words and swore to
Stop living but Instead, I stopped punishing myself.
Categories:
penitence, absence, anxiety, blue, dark,
Form: ABC
Poetically I'm in my feelings,
Wanting to be chastised by you.
The scars left behind,
signed by you.
Fingernails and lip prints
Moans barely audible;
whispers of you.
Cream, and for
ovation
ingredients of you.
My sin needs your
religion.
I'd follow you.
Saving grace
lying in wait
to taste
the undoing of your fate
embraced by your
out stretched arms
Entirely forgiven
for all things I'm
about to do to you
the repetitive
nature
in which you say
Amen; softly
then loud.
You make heaven proud.
Categories:
penitence, love, prayer, religion,
Form: Free verse
I hated you.
God I gave myself every reason to hate you.
Even though they weren’t real,
But at the same time I’d do anything for you.
Sometimes it’s more like I want to kill you,
But I would always kill for you.
We’ve only got each other,
And that’s always going to be that way,
All the way till the end.
I can’t bear the thought of a world or life without you.
But at the same time,
No matter how much I wanted to be with you,
Spend time with you,
Bond;
You always managed to push me away,
Belittle me to the point where I feel like I don’t belong,
Like I’m in your space.
Like I’m invading your home.
You make me feel like it’s not my home too.
Like we’re not sisters,
Which we are.
And every time you leave me behind,
Or not want me to be with you and others,
It really makes me feel like you are ashamed of me.
I don’t want to be you,
I’ve already been you.
I just want you to share a little of your life with me.
We barely see or talk to each other for months.
All I ask is forgiveness.
Categories:
penitence, age, anger, angst, care,
Form: Free verse
Father Father bless me
I bear a burden of sin
sin a heavy block of tin
pray God thee
I need break free
from the evil bondage
I've in been from early age
Father I'm the little mouse
a squatter in the mission house
My heart is full of mischief
I'm that wanted thief
who operates in the sacristy
Eating the communion pastry
and never the wine—none with
you shares
But you waste time to punish
the innocent postulants
for this act deemed devilish
So implore God to graciously
grant
my confessional wish
The postulants clean the
chapel
floor-pew-santuary clean
I cause the daily trouble
of spreading, litter, nuts and
beans
on the holy floor
and yet you spark up your rage
on the postulants for act of
sacrilege
I surrender all
my iniquity
and and my ungodly duty
I surrender all
So plead God to reverse any
curse
that must on my head befall
What reparation
or recitation must I do?
so I can go to the postulants to
apologize
for stealing the communion
wafer
and putting the chapel in scatter
for them to in your hands suffer
But should I tell them you
drink the wine too?
Categories:
penitence, absence, satire,
Form: Verse
In love’s limited life
Equal are my losses and gains
I’ve gained some tear’s drops in eyes
And peace for ever lost
Some wishes still remain to be met
Some tears that I’ve not yet shed
My heart still some stories keeps
That could not ever come to my lips
There are tears veiled by my smiles
There are pains hidden by my liveliness
The heart that gave me anguish and pain
Today I am making its eyes rain
My yearning that burnt me once
Today I am putting it to flame
I’m happy though that my heart’s wounds
Are solace to some ones heart
For, afflictions I am gifted with
I know not whether a cure will come
Non other will ever understand this pain
If not burned in similar flame
O my heart! Fret not, if you can
Anguish is the destiny of man
Sintra, Portugal. 20-6-2012
Categories:
penitence, allegory, dedication, sad, heart,
Form: Free verse
In love’s limited life
Equal are my losses and gains
I’ve gained some tear’s drops in eyes
And peace for ever lost
Some wishes still remain to be met
Some tears that I’ve not yet shed
My heart still some stories keeps
That could not ever come to my lips
There are tears veiled by my smiles
There are pains hidden by my liveliness
The heart that gave me anguish and pain
Today I am making its eyes rain
My yearning that burnt me once
Today I am putting it to flame
I’m happy though that my heart’s wounds
Are solace to some ones heart
For, afflictions I am gifted with
I know not whether a cure will come
Non other will ever understand this pain
If not burned in similar flame
O my heart! Fret not, if you can
Anguish is the destiny of man
Sintra, Portugal. 20-6-2012
Categories:
penitence, allegory, dedication, sad, heart,
Form: Free verse
Penance
A thousand souls queue
outside his confessional while
he scans the cards of sins.
How many
Hail Marys, Our Fathers,
rosaries will be
dealt today?
Wisely dispensed devotions
from behind the brown curtain,
the shadow grid,
will part God’s pearly gates
for a penitent multitude.
I’m at the back of the line
and worry I’ll not make it
to the booth in time.
©Kathryn McLoughlin Collins
April 21, 2012
Categories:
penitence, religion,
Form: Free verse
Love + me will always = pain.
Disappointments and knowledge are the results I gain.
Mending gradually yet the heart remains the same.
Closets are filled to capacity with no vacancy to place the blame.
I hate myself, this flesh never seems to redeem.
Outward appearances capture strangers' eyes; their conjured reflections evade my dreams.
I'm not good enough; I will never be seen for who, not what, I truly am.
Perfection, requirements, and preferences overwhelm me like a dam.
Scars, bruises, and blemishes leave their mark.
Constant remainders chipping away at me like tree bark.
Beating myself emotionally, physically, mentally has left confusion; sensations numb.
Damaged beyond repair; I'm an invisible shadow. No sense of place or time.
Just a faceless phantom.
No matter what people do to me for it will never come close as to what I do to myself on the inside.
I'll return to that broken mirror forever trying to piece that which I've lost.....a shattered image.
Refusing to accept that part of me has died.
But I'll keep right on coming; believing the lies.
.
Categories:
penitence, confusion, depression, fear, introspection,
Form: I do not know?