PAUSED
As I watched you leave time stood still, paused, I thought of my existence without you, and it brought me to a dark familiar place. And the coldness of your absence reminded me of the warmth that I so long to feel. And the chill of reality set me alone on the path to a labyrinth of memories I had long forgotten. Lost in a maze, despair had set in, and death seemed better than being enslaved to a picture show on a loop that would never end. And the surreal existence in a world of smoke and points took me straight to the pits of hell. I could almost see you in the distance, but I was so far gone even your pain and your hell wasn’t hot enough to burn me alive. Through clouds of smoke so opaque and muffled sounds of sweet psalms, I felt as though swimming through chaotic flames in a life lost to a speed fueled demon casting stings through points of blood. As the dawn of a new day comes Angelic beams in Avenues of hope there I was with surrender and awe. Saved by grace and mercy abound, I couldn’t reach your loving stare!
As I watched you leave time stood still, paused, I stood my ground.
one sentence showered
honour sprouting my amour ~
eternal time paused.
The lady paused, it was not fair
That one should boast such raven hair
And ample breasts so round and flush
On waist an hourglass would blush
The lady paused, her mirror stilled
Reflection froze as her eyes filled
Was she as jealous as the queen
Of Snow White’s beauty, fresh and clean
Ashamed she was of her demise
So what, the girl bore big blue eyes
So what, her color rivaled rose
In every hue love can suppose
The lady paused, so she grew old
Her springtime stories had been told
Her memories were still intact
That raven hair was hers, in fact
Yes, she was jealous of herself
Her youth now pictures on a shelf
Will she find happiness inside
Where ageless beauty can reside
Ruffling the feathers
Of your expectations.
Rilke to the left.
The portrait of Alf
The back of my left ear.
What unconscionable theives,
These Time Czars,
Where we live with the scars,
As joy bounces on the crevices.
I see you in the dark in some cave.
Let me be your bombastic populist.
The Strong Arm of the Soul.
Play in the light of least resistance.
My garden grows in the garden of your heart.
My every breathe is your eternal existence.
Bite the doughnut.
Press for hugs.
At the deep shelf of night
a niche
a cubby-hole of stillness
Somewhere a hunt is on
somewhere there is death and feeding
but in this hollow mouth of the cosmos
you can rest
within your eyes
be not stung blind by any blood hungers
Here you can sleep on a bed of starlight
forget yourself
and this lovely savage planet
Everywhere there is a kind of peace
as the mind watches itself
looking
just looking
The textured page holds my finger
Swift memory steals the pause
Here I’ll sit and so long linger
Again, I’ll wonder who she was
Moved as if by a magic wand
To soles and autumn leaves
Carried back to Walden’s pond
Amongst observant trees
Its here I held her young hand
And wondered what might be
There we walked the storied land
Now how does she remember me
lanky lusts leering
fostering felon fits
damp draw drooling
draped over dances
voluptuous veils vying
saucy veins spanking
hanky panky hoisting
falling fallible feelings
severed surges smirking
eerie emotions nauseated
squashed capillaries cremated
pulpy pukes pirated
lurching labium limbs
paused, party pissed.
'20:01:29:18:14
Medication paused a day
the balm of urge then delayed
with a will to live without
if only for the briefest time
until the need comes again
sight unseen to other folks
yet more present than concerns
voiced for the abstinence
when that fix to ease the pain
sometimes a scratch or bloody gash
demands more than platitudes
even as they fill the void
between damnation and relief
the intermission feeds a hope
somewhere past the curative
is a life of more control.
Stone floors whisper of
waterfalls poured through
algae, moss, fern
sedimentary, limestone
layer upon layer formed
from steaming warm springs.
This same granite counter
once graced by
a gazelle - or on its bedrock
a jackal howled, a shy marten
scurried away. This same stone
cut square, smoothed, glazed
and laid in some ultra-modern kitchen
for imbedded fossils to shine
from fifty million years of nature-
a jaguar spirit crouching
ready to leap up,
brushing the
potted ferns
FIRST PLACE in the "Early March 18 Standard" Poetry Contest,
Brian Strand, Sponsor.
Doing what you want like u
some kinda star?
Idk who you think you are!
telling me that I'm not allowed
Does makin me cry make you
feel proud?
Why you out wit ya girls just
livin it up
I'm stuck at home feelin down
on my luck
Thinking of everything that you
might be doin
Where the eff you at? who u
might be screwin?
So I try to call to ease my mind
But You hit ignore n think it's
FINE?
I hope u don't think that love is
a game
It's a beautiful painting locked
away in a frame
something that you probably
should admire
But you pull out ya lighter and
set it on fire
Making me blaze and burning
my heart
Our love is a sweet work of art
It's 2 hungry dogs fighting for
the last piece of steak
Its pain and suffering lets talk
for gods sake!
she paused
in front of him and smiled
graduation day
There is a split, precious time where it is necessary to stop everything
And just stare into the hearts of the unknown
To really look in
Without a speck of fear to curl your way downwards
In a fetal position I avert my eyes to view the pumping organ
But all I see is space
As dust rises and falls
Into my burning, crying eyes
I need to stop what I’m doing
To shed some light
Because I am casting shadows all around me
Leaving everything I am behind
You need this festive light that you end up always hating in the end
On every floor I will step for you
On every wall my shadow will stand tall
Shedding its darkening light
Stopping everything in time
Lean against it and ignore it
Become it
There is always tomorrow
One little speck can destroy the entire universe
And that is why I must pause
To shed some light
Will you shine in return?
I need the warmth, not the burn!
And we will fearlessly walk into the sun
Lessons learned
Follow the road and you will see my shadow
And then…only then
Can I press the play button
-inspired by My Shadow by Keane-
pieces
tattered
broken
bloody
I fell apart
fell silent
sat still
it's what you wanted
me to stop
now you see
this is what happens
I stop
and I fall apart
the thoughts attack
ripping me apart
my body shakes
mind screams
I rock back and forth
hug myself
tears stream down
you wanted me to pause
step back and look
don't you see it
it's how I coped
I kept moving
my mind had to race
if I stop then it tumbles
my carefully constructed walls
lies I told myself
I had to stay together
a whole body formed from pieces
no one seeing the missing bits
where is the heart
shattered into pieces
bloody
broken
tattered
Our journey got paused
I insisted to the passengers
Let’s sleep on our way
We got to the Ibadan garage 1.05am
Then, we move on ‘morrow morning
Dissenting voices echoed diverse views
I offered to alight at the park
Couldn’t put my life at risk
Some of my co-travelers concurred
We paused at Abuja Park of Ibadan
For its of it good to be late than be a late.
Alayande Stephen T.
2.25am
21st November, 2007
It was written at the Abuja Garage in
Iwo Road, Ibadan on my way to her in Ado-Ekiti.
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