I Paused

pieces tattered broken bloody I fell apart fell silent sat still it's what you wanted me to stop now you see this is what happens I stop and I fall apart the thoughts attack ripping me apart my body shakes mind screams I rock back and forth hug myself tears stream down you wanted me to pause step back and look don't you see it it's how I coped I kept moving my mind had to race if I stop then it tumbles my carefully constructed walls lies I told myself I had to stay together a whole body formed from pieces no one seeing the missing bits where is the heart shattered into pieces bloody broken tattered