Humorous Out Of Gas Poems

Silent but Deadly (Written 2014)

In the heart of the nursing home where old folks stay,
Lived Erasmus, a man twinkling in twilight's array.
With a glimmer that...

Read More

A gassy stomach isn't funny
If you fart it comes out runny
Your pants are  full of liquid gas
That wouldn't stay in your a--...

Read More

beyond reasonable doubts
behind rabid regrets
beneath a bleeding world
below bombing cyclones
between raging atmospheric rivers

I slide around in a pit of digital snakes
I track my disintegrating limbs
I...

Read More

here we are in a spinning glove
passing gas in the name of love
on a lazy day happily doing nothing
exchanging humorous kisses and hilariously strategic touching
it...

Read More

I used to fill my tank for a dollar

   Now, paying forty bucks makes me holler

      I need...

Read More

The gas has gone, gasp,
walk, and walk fast 
the pump drips drops 
and the drops don't last 

what a bloody disaster, 
gotta run to go...

Read More

Sir Elton (my Keeshond) ate a raw prune
Couldn’t get out of the house, none too soon,
Left me a deposit
Actually, was it
Putrid smell from a passing...

Read More

Our Jenny passed gas on the bus
      We knew it was headed for us
      We...

Read More

I used to fill my tank for a dollar

   Now, paying forty bucks makes me holler

      I need...

Read More

An ultrasound scan of my tum
Showed lots of foul gas soon will come
I try to hold it in
But much to my chagrin
Foul farts are shooting...

Read More

There's nothing like a pressured toot
to get you out of bed.
The moving sheets, the rustled beat;
of flatulence ahead.

That very sound to wake you up
and start...

Read More

Ow! gas station sushi.
 I want my gas station sushi.
 I don't care about the cramps & the whooshi.
 Just give me my gas station...

Read More

There was an old man from Bluegrass,
          who always ate green sassafras.
    ...

Read More

Laughing hard can cause involuntary bursts of gas...toot!



---------------10.11.2016
Funny One Liner: Silent One Contest...

Read More

(Disclaimer: this is what happens when I am bored at work on a Saturday)

Gas is a powerful thing
It can certainly clear a room
Yes gas is...

Read More