Some nights feel heavier than they should,
like the air itself is leaning on your shoulders,
waiting to see if you’ll bend or break.
But you don’t.
You breathe through it, even when it stings.
You stay, even when the quiet gets too loud.
You keep a small flame going
in a room that forgot how to hold light.
There’s a kind of courage in that
the quiet kind, the kind no one claps for,
the kind that looks like simply existing
when everything inside you wants to disappear.
You’re not okay,
but you’re here.
And that means something.
It means tomorrow still has a chance
to be softer than today.
If this reached you, feel free to share it with someone who might need it.
Found
I forgot where you were.
Where can I find you?
In these displaced memories,
Has now become a silent black
pale fading while being
observed in the middle,
of this hibernation travail.
Here, the distance has caused:
a suffocation, views upon views,
On the choices we made, waiting,
For the sunrise.
Distant sirens, blurring, just outside
My window. Reminding me of our
times together, that everything will
be okay. Sounds like a broken record.
Stuck on replay; I’m not the man,
I used to be. Setting here in my
living room, blues, peering out of
The windows are a balancing act.
Longing for you, where can I find
you? Trying to find you.
We’re always returning,
Too sweet an interruption.
No matter what, I’ve loosened up.
In the right place, at the right time.
What’s mine is yours here to stay.
Stay with me, in time we will see.
When the party’s over.
Now that I’ve found you.
Because someday when I have it all
Everything that I dreamed of
I will still think about you (and us?)
About everything that could have been
When I chose to walk away
From a future we could have made.
Sometimes our best decisions become our lifelong regrets
That one other way, the other outcome
We can only wonder in thoughts
About a world that could have been
Had we chosen to hold that hand
And instead of splitting apart
Remained a team.
I know you're not okay
but that's okay,
I know you're replaying
but that's okay,
I know time is slow
but that's okay,
I know, at times, you feel alone
but that's not okay,
I know that I'll walk with you
if that's okay
I am dumb.
Foolishness stays over me and coats my throat till I cant be me.
Tears threatening to leak.
I bite my tongue, only for the words to stop in my throat.. Because maybe no one cares..?
Maybe that "can" change..? Knowing well enough that it wont..
And never will.
Standing my ground ,hoping to be felt
But never is.
To stop from being me to being insecure to speak.
Spent so long being "okay" that I don't know if "am" okay or... not?
How foolish
Knowing it isn't
Only for me to "betray" them
Either way,
Am selfish.
And will "always" be.. in their eyes
For them to judge
And never to judge.
Reasons unchanged,
breed endless cycles of shame.
Habits we form young,
ingrained in the old remain.
Redemption albeit rare exists,
in the purpose driven mind
Relentless to shift,
what most you're looking to find.
For the soul to grow
Itself it must know
What all it's looking for!
A desire to know more.
Explore what’s inside!
Be unwilling to hide.
When afraid face fear!
Accept moments it's near.
Even if courage leads stray.
It's okay to not be okay!
Hard, not impossible
The search for inner belief.
Identify what enables,
your self-defeating grief.
Realize reason,
the smallest morsel for cause.
Allow that to be,
Your needed second for pause!
For the soul to grow
Itself it must know
What all it's looking for!
A desire to know more.
Explore what’s inside!
Be unwilling to hide.
When afraid face fear!
Accept moments it's near.
Even if courage leads stray.
It's okay to not be okay!
It's okay to hate injustice.
It's okay to hate addiction.
It's okay to hate war.
It's okay to hate oppression.
It's okay to hate tyranny.
It's okay to hate sin.
It's okay to hate murder.
It's okay to hate death.
It's okay to hate, hate.
It's okay to hate, sometimes.
Sometimes, it's necessary
in order to understand
Love.
With every word I write I will woo you,
written with truth and a lust for your eyes.
That grown up fairy tale in paradise,
stop being curious what you should do.
From the first moment you already knew
you’d get an adventure with all those tries.
Move with the quiver of those butterflies,
what could blind infatuation lead to?
Let your arousal burst under my spell
now I can consume you as you’re falling.
Happiness is going bare for that kiss,
I can promise that you will live to tell.
Electric on fire bent on skin crawling,
it’s okay to wonder why I wrote this.
.
but them ewe
better be black
I start to type a message,
but I leave it incomplete,
cuz I know you won’t even read it
so I just hit delete.
I guess I let my guard down,
and now I’m paying the price,
I’m over here feeling stupid
for believing all your lies.
You told me everything
that I wanted to hear,
I’m so dumb for thinking
that you would be here.
I should’ve known better
I should’ve trusted my gut,
but I didn’t see it coming
It’s just my bad luck.
What did I do wrong?
For you to change this way…
At least give me a reason
If you ain’t gonna stay.
But I wish you the best
in everything you do
I hope you find happiness
and all your dreams come true.
I will heal from this,
I guess I gotta learn,
I gotta let my feelings out
and I gotta let them burn.
You are still young
and have a bright future ahead,
you deserve nothing but good things,
but for me love is dead.
But I’ll be alright
at the end of the day
the sun shines for everyone,
I will be okay.
I hate my thoughts, my mind ain’t alright,
It’s a freaking battle and i'm losing the fight.
I can’t change my past, or the mistakes that I've made,
Whenever I make progress, it all starts to fade.
My insecurities are bigger than me, they take over my mind,
I overthink everything, and I become blind..
Blind to reality, so I give into temptation,
but then i keep going because my kids are my motivation.
I get sidetracked so easily, I don't get things done,
I overwhelm myself, before I've even begun.
I have no agency, I can't choose anymore,
I'm a slave to my addiction, that keeps me wanting more.
It’s a never ending cycle, that i need to break,
I already know the steps that I need to take.
I just need the strength that only God can give,
I wanna keep trying, because I wanna live.
there are some people I speak to almost every day
If they don’t hear from me, I might not be okay
I call them, because they cannot call me
My phone is off unless I want to call out, you see
When I don’t call them, they should be concerned about me.
I am usually down, and depressed more than possibly
I do not tell them, because I like my privacy
But if I do not call them, there might be a reason to be afraid for me.
It's okay to live a quiet life,
to live and love in the solitude
of a forest glen
where simple things
become the song of plentitude.
Morning fog to greet the dawn,
Morning sun to filter down
and warm the ground where flowers
soon shall shout their colors
to the bees that hum.
The deer and her fawn will wander near
to eat the apples that appear
the same as every year,
they speak to me these perfect beasts
and say it is safe to shelter here.
It's okay! for whom,don't care,
Not for withered flower,once healthy,
It's okay! it's alright! never snare
In love's net, not for once joy wealthy.
What about whom , who wait still,
Nor gets death yet who dies,
And what about whom happy still
Holds the whole pain in eyes.
It's okay! for him when said vale!
Alright, I don't awake from that night
When life cold with fear of fare -well,
It's alright I see him,he sees me white.
Conclusion got, he burns in anger
I in nightmare, but oh! two burning together.
It's okay to stumble,
to fall in the dust of the day,
feeling the heavy weight of yesterday.
It's fine to feel weak and weary,
losing your footing and your way,
like a ship lost in the endless gray.
For these are just moments,
a breath, a flicker, a sigh,
fleeting shadows in the sun passing by.
They don't define time,
nor the race yet to be run,
and neither who I am beneath the sky.
But for how long, Lord,
for this ache won't cease to be,
and the silence is a heavy sound to me.
Make haste to help me,
make haste to set me free,
to help me stand on solid ground and see.
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