Humorous Nonsense Poems

I had a dream, it was risqué 
Read on if you dare
I was at a masquerade ball
And all there were bare.

Except for wearing masks of...

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Many poems are about the titles
Not the contents
Many books are about the titles
Not common sense
Many stars are about the names
Not the distance
Many actors about the...

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Snatch it from the dragon's lair
while he's sleeping, shh, beware
(or you'll get caught in his stare)
eat some, share some, if you dare
(preserve rest in fridgidaire)
if...

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The story's told of bygone days,
Of a man named Vince with his soul ablaze,
While the hearts of animals far and near
Were filled with abject dread...

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a gigglephant and giraffalaugh
in a junglement’s delight
did swing on a vine
most of the time
but today decided to fight
set to did they
but laugh did they
and tried...

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Two wiener dogs meet
Each yap loudly, strangely greet
Oddly on the street

Hounds bite other's butt 
Owner blames the other's mutt
Not open and shut

I note discreetly,
"Both were...

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So much effort
goes into feeling well...Man,
I’m exhausted! There’s nausea
from supplements, the squeak
and throb, Just One More Rep!~ exercising…
Man, I’m exhausted! 
    ...

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The Mother of Invention
Has given birth once more
And her new baby
Is as mad as before

Eddison or Tesla
Would spill their tea
I know because it happens to...

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you know he’s a Jib
the way you can tell
he jingles and jingles
like a jingly bell

but sometimes their jingle
mysteriously goes
then Jibs cry all day
and why, nobody...

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bulging
burgeoning
bulbous grin

widening
a widened chair
to sit him in

liking 
lotions
rubbed on chin

and greying
gruelling
sunburn skin



...

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cake 
caramel iced
donut filled 
with custard
    if I was a dog
cake
cream layered 
sugar topped
jam sponge
cake
    this is what I...

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Trump Poems and Epigrams VI


Trump’s Retribution Resolution
by Michael R. Burch

My New Year’s resolution?
I require your money and votes,
for you are my retribution.

May I offer you...

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Limericks IX



Scratch-n-Sniff
by Michael R. Burch

The world’s first antinatalist limerick?

Life comes with a terrible catch:
It’s like starting a fire with a match.
Though the flames may delight
In...

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I have invented a nonce nonsense form: the "dabble dactyl." A dabble dactyl starts out like a double dactyl, but forgets the rules and changes...

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Had a big dog for to tend the sheep
Small dog for a ratter while we sleep
Old spot for all to pet
Growler for warn he let
All...

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