Funny Mother-In-Law Poems | Examples
These Funny Mother-In-Law poems are examples of Mother-In-Law poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Mother-In-Law Funny poems written by international poets.
Said mother-in-law: -" When my time to come,
My ashes scatter in this court in a burial rite."
Thinking, the son-in-law answered in fright: -
"But, if a wind drive you in house again, dear mum?"
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS POISONING ME!
I think my mother-in-law is poisoning me.
The electric range is smelling strange,
She tests the smoke detector by cooking everyday....
Now the entire kitchen is acting deranged.
Semolina at 3:30,
Mercury hits 120 degrees!
Nausea and stomach cramps are rising in me,
Red-sauced tripe is afflicting me.
Outside it's now Celsius 43 degrees.
Now Bulimia is what I see,
I have to stay for tea,
Yes, my mother-in-law is poisoning me,
There's much to said for ...
D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!!
The Mother-in-Law at the Door
By Elton Camp
The doorbell’s ring brings Sue to the door
A quick peek shows one she’s seen before
It is her mother-in-law standing out there
Come without calling, how does she dare
This isn’t the first time she’s pulled that trick
Having her visit today makes Sue feel sick
It is in her ragged bathrobe that she’s dressed
From end-to-end, the house is quite messed
While Mother Roberts is wearing a new suit
Even at her age, she looks very prim and cute
Her white gloves show what Sue does fear
To make an inspection is why she is here
She can already almost hear her sneer
“My son is in a dilemma, I greatly fear.”
“As a child, he liked things neat and clean.
My dear, I hope you understand what I mean.”
“When I think of the girls he might have wed,
It causes an ache right in the front of my head.”
Sue quietly slipped into the closet to hide
And left Mother Roberts standing outside
With only one look it ruptured my spleen
The ugliest creature I've ever seen
You'd know if you ever saw
It's called my mother-in-law
And smells like the gas produced from a bean
I admit it, I'm allergic to my mother-in-law
She gives me hives and makes me sneeze
I've even been known to cough alot
And, sometimes, I might even wheeze
I mean it, that woman drives me crazy
My face distorts and I twitch
Even the smell of her stinky perfume
Will just always make me itch
Even if she calls me on the telephone
Her voice just drives me insane
Try to imagine a "moose on crack"
Then you'll understand my pain
That woman even thinks she's Hitler
She even has that silly mustache
And anytime I see her coming
Out the door I go, in a flash
Okay, I know you think I exaggerate
But I'm telling you, these are the facts
The woman is truly out to get me
I can tell by the way that she acts
Now you probably think this is funny
But remember the words that I've said
She'll be the only one laughing
When they find her son-in-law dead
Well I think I finally figured it out
The answer I've wanted to know
What makes her mother act like that
And her five o'clock shadow grow
You see, I have always wondered
Why she takes her bath in the yard
The bird bath is her bathtub
While my wife is standing guard
She drinks her meals on a bench outside
From a plain brown paper bag
Her clothes are always tattered and torn
And she looks like a crazy old hag
She always wears those army boots
And her car is a shopping cart
She talks of all the places she's been
And she calls Graffiti, art
Did I mention she plays harmonica?
Like that Boxcar Willie guy
She plays, "Nobody knows the troubles"
As a tear leaks from her eye
And when she goes on her vacations
She'll never take a plane
She says she's just more comfortable
In the boxcar of a train
So, I finally know all the answers
And I'll share them with you all
I want you to know that my wife's mom
Is the Hobo mother-in-law
In life we take the good times
And the bad times as they come
And then there is my mother- in-law
Where nightmares surface from
Now I don't believe in voodoo
Nor magic of any kind
But I think she put a curse on me
From the pain in my behind
I'm not saying she's a wicked witch
Or anything else like that
But she rides a broomstick where ever she goes
And wears a pointy hat
If it sounds like I don't like her much
Then You don't know me at all
For you can't have good without evil
And I mean my mother-in -law
Don't answer the phone
It might be your mother-in-law
She heard a rumor
Her daughter has a flaw
Her husband
Yes, that's you
It seem men get the worst
From a womans view
If you need some help
Please let me share
I'm a 3 time divorcee
I can tear them down with a stare
(This is a fictional poem)
I've never been able to win.
I wound up having sex with my mother-in-law again.
She seduced me one night when I was drunk.
The only thing that I remember is that her vagina really stunk.
I was disgusted to wake up with my mouth buried in her wrinkled ass.
She asked me to do her again but I quickly decided to pass.
She did something that I really regret.
She has a picture of us in the 69 position and she put it on the internet.
I hope that picture isn't seen by any of my buddies.
And if it is, I want someone to get a gun and put me out of my misery.
It's disgusting to know that I once again touched that wrinkled flab.
But I'm really pissed off because the ##### gave me the crabs.