"I'm short
I'm fat
I'm a wh*re
My a*s is too flat
I b*tch too much
And play too little
I'm nothing but a sl*t
Who f*ks for crystal
I'm never happy
Always sad
My hair is too nappy
I only make you mad
I suck in bed
Can't give good he*d
I'm not capable of making money
So I'm a thief instead
I'm ugly and disgusting
Nobody can trust me
I'm nothing but a h*e
Who f*ks for dr*gs and money"
So next time you decide
You might want to try to touch on me
Remember those words
The ones you've spoke of me
Because lies and accusations
May satisfy your conscience
But I'm not the one
Harboring skeletons in the closet
mental
abuse
can't
heal
a
broken
mind,
mixed
feelings,
or
scattered
thoughts
You can’t give your best behind Walls
Fearful of taking that leap into one to commit to a life in hand
Dreams are made possible by openness not from behind walls or unhealed trauma’s
My heart breaks
I know you’re in denial of your style
Avoidance-
Is not Secure and I’m so sorry you never learned
To portray a different facet
That the outside world believe
A spectacle a performance
A web of lies spun to deceive
Chastised another day now
This pattern is well worn
Tolerance my saviour
Of a life threadbare and torn
Know not to voice opinion
Nor bring attention my way
Pass through this life your shadow
A different life I often pray
Fear, your sharp words heard
Restrain me hence my peers
So many lost connections
Since forgotten over the years
Now lonely I am meek
Personality no longer exists
My being swathed, negated
Life fraught with evil twists
To keep peace I surrendered
To the barrage lasting days
My being to you I gifted
My anger no longer ablaze
Defeated I accept my sentence
Realise jealousy be your source
Certain you have me shackled
With not one thought of divorce
If my own voice I could find
Open ears only to reason
This prison I could escape
As you be tried for treason
A vial of happy in a bubble each day,
That’s what the doctor had said,
Just a small dose, when she rolls out of bed,
To freshen her wallowing head,
With a sunrise in opal, a titanium smile,
A rose quartz beating her blood,
Creating a feeling of happy, belonging in colour,
A feeling of absolute love,
And she grew to beautiful straight lines in blue,
To lines of pink, red and green,
She grew every day, with her tenderest heart,
To living a life in between,
The joy and the trust that she never had,
Hope and the peace and the praise,
Now her eyes had opened to the love that she was,
After she’d escaped from the haze.
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