Soup Creek Toasts
Marmite cocktails are delicious I've heard
They are the hippest cocktails being served
So to raise a toast
Tell Jenna the host
Mayor Tom's sure to be shaken and stirred.
6th September 2022
Categories:
marmite, drink, fun,
Form: Limerick
Dearest Marmite Man I await your response
With Vege-mitey breath
Or have you finally realised
You are out of your mitey depth?
Have you had a light bulb moment
And seen the errors of your ways
Thrown away your Mar-mud jar
Happily eating Vegemite now …. Happy Days!!!
Categories:
marmite, fun, humor, silly,
Form: Rhyme
I know things have been quiet on the “ Mite-y Spread Front”
But do not be dismayed
Yeasty business brews in the Vegemite Camp
That is all I have to say….
It will take some time to come to fruition
But Marmite Man beware
“Remember sleep with both eyes open”
Always “yes” always….Be prepared!!
Just a friendly reminder Sir Tom
That we will continue this when the time is right
Our ongoing little banter feud
Of which is the superior Mite!!
So, NO resting on your laurels Marmite Man
Make sure your jar lids are tightly screwed on
As soon you will hear melodic Vegemite voices singing
The “Vegemite is pure delight, Marmite is pure sh**e” song!!
Categories:
marmite, fun, giggle, humor,
Form: Rhyme
The Marmite Man from Birmingham
Is also called Tom Cunningham
His Vegemite ban
Produced from Japan
Chocolate and banana jam
Categories:
marmite, food,
Form: Limerick
Marmite Man was enjoying breakfast, marmite on toast
When the officer on the bridge shouted "it's the Aussie coast"
The alarm for action stations sounded, men ran here and there
It was time to flush out the rebel vixens cowering in their lair.
Port Melbourne was the first target, the Vegemite factory
A B52 bomber dropped its payload to inflict untold misery
The factory was obliterated ; the mission a success
All that was left was glass and bricks with a large gooey mess.
Their food supply now cut off they'd have no stomach to fight
But Marmite Man is generous and distributed marmite
Very soon white flags were everywhere, in every city and town
There was pockets of resistance but they were quickly put down.
Some rebel vixens were captured and exiled to Tasmania
The victorious Marmite empire expanded taking in Australia
Meanwhile there's a manhunt for the Queen of Vegemite
With a generous reward of a thousand jars, of delicious Marmite.
Written 23rd February 2022.
Categories:
marmite, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Sir Tom aka Marmite Man
It’s obvious you are the people’s choice
“But do not” rest on your laurels
As I too have a voice!!
I’ve noticed when addressing the people
There’s a recurring whinge of …“Deb broke the treaty”
You need to toughen up Marmite Man
Stop behaving like a precious sweetie!
You write such powerful words
Though empty words is all they are
Where were you when I challenged you?
Hiding in your Marmite jar!!
Categories:
marmite, humorous, nonsense,
Form: Rhyme
So Marmites great leader has spoken
He finally came out of his jar
His soldiers which are yet to be named
Are travelling to our Aussie land afar
Sir Tom states Vegemite is the poor mans Marmite
That is not quite true
It’s actually the other way around
As Marmite is what you wipe of your shoe!
Our bright yellow lids are off and we are ready
For our Vegemite we will forever protect and defend
The Vegemite Vixens will show no mercy
We will battle these inferior Marmite soldiers til the end!!
If any of our Marmite enemies are captured
They will be stripped naked and disciplined
By covering their own body with marmite
Then left naked in the hot Aussie desert
To let nature do it’s thing!!
We await your arrival our butter knives in hand
With toast, butter and confident anticipation
Ready to wipe that disgusting marmite of your face
And spread Vegemite throughout all nations!
Categories:
marmite, fun, humor,
Form: Rhyme
It's often been dubbed as the poor man's Marmite
That substitute breakfast spread called Vegemite
Vegemite vixens are now preparing to fight
But they're onto a loser, Tom's ready to bite.
His legions are heading for the land of the roo
It will be the mother of all battles, I'm not kidding you
Already hundreds of refugees are heading for the coast
The Marmite empire will be victorious, that's no idle boast.
Vegemite spread is used widely to keep flies off of food
But Marmite on toast for breakfast puts you in a good mood
I'll give the Vegemite vixens one chance to surrender
Or I'll teach them a lesson, one they'll always remember.
Any Vegemite Vixens caught will be punished mercilessly
Force fed delicious black Marmite for all their eternity
So lay down your jars now and you'll be so glad you did
Or face the wrath of the empire with the bright yellow lid.
written 21st February 2022
Categories:
marmite, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Hello Marmite Man
Vegemite Viking here
Just enquiring Sir
If you’ve yet to have a smear
Of Vegemite…….!
The mite is brewing
In Down Under Land
Remember, sleep with both eyes open
Marmite Man……!
Categories:
marmite, humor, war,
Form: Rhyme
Marmite or Vegemite, which is the best?
If you dont know then you won't pass the test
One is a milder and lighter brown paste
While the other is darker with a meatier taste
So if you've not tried them please give them a go
Or ask Deb or Tom and they'll let you know ;-)
Dedicated to Tom Cunningham (Sir Tom's Marmite Army) and to Deb M (The Queen of the Kingdom of Vegemite)
Categories:
marmite, dedication, food, fun,
Form: Rhyme
Tommy’s battle is in the bulge.
So much marmite in his pantry.
Celebrating, he does indulge.
Souper Choir laments in chantry.
What is this edible cement?
I’ve not the wherewithal to find.
Is it a sin not to try? Hell-bent?
To Tommy, I better be kind.
I opened the black jar with the
bright yellow lid for marmite cause
and Tommy all I saw was thee
reflected in the jar - your jaws.
I think I’ll skip the marmite here.
I need to chew on edibles
of real nutrition without fear.
Cost of marmite’s incredible.
1/7/2022
Categories:
marmite, food, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Hey Mister Tom Cunningham,
You are definitely the man,
Your poetic talents reaching far,
Your taste buds tantalized by a
Marmite jar!
Categories:
marmite, poetry,
Form: Rhyme
Deb an Aussie girl swears by vegemite
Now personally I don't think she's right
She's got in her head
It's the only spread
But for me nothing on earth beats MARMITE
Written 3rd January 2022
Dedicated to Deb.
Categories:
marmite, humor,
Form: Limerick
I wanted to get trim and sexy
for my daughters wedding,
no lasagna
no pizza ,
no home made bread
Instead I ate 20 carrots
10 celery stalks
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thurs
From Friday until Sunday
I only drank water
and a jar of marmite
it tasted like tar
I lost my Buddha belly and my daughter
cried, "Mom, you're a perfect size 10 !"
August 9th, 2021
Categories:
marmite, humorous,
Form: List
Riding in an airplane
Skiing down snowy slopes
Racing across the ocean
Sliding away from loss
Painting a lovely canvas
Sculpting something nice
Singing to the top of my lungs
Playing guitar all night
Writing a literary novel
Smiling despite the sorrow
Listening to my instincts
Dancing through the rain
Laughing away a heartache
Breathing joy into another
Creating something beautiful
Planting seeds of goodness
Awaking to the starry skies
Drifting to sleep on a lullaby
Haunting the dreams of my true love
And, spreading Marmite on my toast
Marmite Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Natasha L Scragg
August 1, 2021
Categories:
marmite, funny, giggle, humor,
Form: List
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