It's War, Marmite Versus Vegemite

Marmite Man was enjoying breakfast, marmite on toast
When the officer on the bridge shouted "it's the Aussie coast"
The alarm for action stations sounded, men ran here and there
It was time to flush out the rebel vixens cowering in their lair.

Port Melbourne was the first target, the Vegemite factory
A B52 bomber dropped its payload to inflict untold misery
The factory was obliterated ; the mission a success
All that was left was glass and bricks with a large gooey mess.

Their food supply now cut off they'd have no stomach to fight
But Marmite Man is generous and distributed marmite
Very soon white flags were everywhere, in every city and town
There was pockets of resistance but they were quickly put down.

Some rebel vixens were captured and exiled to Tasmania
The victorious Marmite empire  expanded taking in Australia
Meanwhile there's a manhunt for the Queen of Vegemite
With a generous reward of a thousand jars, of delicious Marmite.

Written 23rd February 2022.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

Poem

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12
Horsman Avatar
February 2, 2023 at 6:14 PM
Wow, i miss all of these, Tom, love this war, although, being an ex-pat living in Australia, i love them both, on beard in stew, and a lovely kind of gravy, with a touch of mint, straight from the garden, the mint that is...Harry.
Cunningham Avatar
February 3, 2023 at 12:34 AM
Thank you very much Harry, I must admit I tried Vegimite on Debs recommendation but after 50 odd years of marmite she didn't manage to convert me lol. Hope you're feeling better now. Tom
Anaya Avatar
March 14, 2022 at 7:02 PM
What you mean to tell me they sell marmite at Walmart--I'm wanting to try it. Tom..."Men At Work" sang about the vegemite sandwich "Down under" It just may sway my vote! Sorry! https://youtu.be/XfR9iY5y94s
Cunningham Avatar
March 15, 2022 at 11:29 AM
Lol, thanks Anaya, I did try Vegemite but it didn't do it for me, that said I've been a marmite user for over fifty years so not about to switch sides. If you like a savoury taste you'll probably like both. Hope your week is going well. Tom
Poet Avatar
March 11, 2022 at 9:55 AM
Tom, I thoroughly enjoyed your piece from beginning to end, as well as your amazing metaphors. I apologize for missing much of your new and beautiful work but I am currently traveling and will return in a few days. I hope everything is going well for you.
Cunningham Avatar
March 11, 2022 at 2:44 PM
Thank you very much Lasaad, just a bit of banter between Deb and myself. Hope your having a good time on your travels and are keeping well. Tom
Thirtyseven Avatar
March 6, 2022 at 9:04 PM
Beauty mate. A most enjoyable read that leaves a bite on my tongue.
Cunningham Avatar
March 6, 2022 at 10:43 PM
Thank you very much Scott, a but of banter between Deb and I. Glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Buhagiar Avatar
March 3, 2022 at 7:09 AM
Lovely fun poem. At least not boring as with the many contests.
Cunningham Avatar
March 3, 2022 at 7:26 AM
Thank you very much Victor, we've decided to cease our 'war' because of what's happening in Ukraine. Tom
Dietrich Avatar
March 2, 2022 at 8:36 PM
wow, you are really into this marmite stuff. I ought to do something like this for crunchy peanut butter vs. smooth or some other famous foods. Lots of fun, tom
Cunningham Avatar
March 3, 2022 at 12:13 AM
Lol you should Andrea, just a bit of fun, we're not doing anymore at the moment in light of what's happening in Ukraine with that mad dog Putin targeting innocent civilians. Tom
Proxenos Avatar
February 26, 2022 at 5:26 AM
A great saga and a great episode of the story told in perfect creative wonderful and amusing poetry! Long Live the Marmite Empire! Hugs and blessings, Jennifer.
Cunningham Avatar
February 26, 2022 at 7:00 AM
Thank you very much Jennifer, im light of what's going on in the world Deb and I have called a truce. Tom
Roper Avatar
February 25, 2022 at 8:06 AM
Another great story, Tom. And Yes, the war goes on. I've never had Marmite, but I love applebutter. :)
Cunningham Avatar
February 25, 2022 at 12:10 PM
Thank you very much Eve, I love apples and I'm sure I'd love applebutter. Tom
Gentile Avatar
February 25, 2022 at 3:52 AM
What a battle Tom! I also not tried either so not sure for whom to vote , yet I really enjoy the ongoing saga! Happy Friday!
Cunningham Avatar
February 25, 2022 at 8:00 AM
Thank you very much Mike, glad you enjoyed the banter. Have a lovely weekend. Tom
Mcguire Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 10:39 PM
What do I know? I'm a Yankee! Probably wouldn't like either one......Just sayin
Cunningham Avatar
February 25, 2022 at 7:59 AM
Lol thanks Timothy, if you like a savoury taste you'd like marmite. Tom
George Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 7:34 PM
The war is on and on ! But the Marmites have obliterated the Vegemite into powder. What a smashing victory.....! The rebel vegemites captured should have been sent to some other country than Tasmania....Have mercy on them !.... :)
Cunningham Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 10:14 PM
Thank you Valsa, glad you enjoyed the humour, I'll have them all work in a marmite mine lol. Tom
Baker Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 1:22 PM
The war runs on! Fun poems to read from you and Deb. Keep them coming. I can always use another good laugh. Well written with heavy dose of humor. Thanks for sharing your talent with us, Tom. A poet friend in Texas, Bill
Cunningham Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 2:01 PM
Thank you very much Bill, glad you enjoyed the banter, I'm waiting for Debs response. Tom
Trifiatis Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 10:41 AM
Entertaining war story so well narrated, my friend, Tom. God bless you.
Cunningham Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 1:22 PM
Thank you very much Demetrios, the Marmite versus Vegemite rivalry continues. Tom
Daniel Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 5:32 AM
You combine Marmite and humour very well, Tom:) enjoyed:)
Cunningham Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 7:04 AM
Thank you very much Jo, glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Jayasankar Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 2:28 AM
Haha...Enjoyed reading the Marmite vs Vegemite war Tom...Thanks for the humor...God bless...~ Ani
Cunningham Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 3:28 AM
Thank you very much Ani, Im pleased that you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Vangaveti Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 1:48 AM
This is like a combo pack! Humor and rivalry taking two ends of the log. Enjoyed it.
Cunningham Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 3:27 AM
Thank you very much Swetha, a bit of banter with Deb. Glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Kavanagh  Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 3:14 PM
Once the B52s are unleashed it’s usually game over Tom, you where certainly not lying about your arsenal, but it might get nastier still, I heard they have mustard gas at the ready if all else fails, great entertainment writing, cheers David
Cunningham Avatar
February 24, 2022 at 3:26 AM
Thank you very much David, I go in quick, hit em hard then put my feet up. Tom
Sands Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 1:52 PM
Oh now, this is great! An exciting victory. Great story telling and photo to go with it. A fun read.. Write on my writer friend. :)
Cunningham Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 2:19 PM
Thank you very much Heidi, im pleased that you enjoyed it. Tom
Calasibetta Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 12:52 PM
Very humorous and serious at the same time. I think we all need to get a jar of Marmite and Vegemite and put it to the test. May the best 'vite' win. :)Paulette
Cunningham Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 1:09 PM
Thank you very much Paulette, see comment to Milton, some stores in the US import it. Glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Pandit Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 11:48 AM
Awesome photo enhances your brilliant write Marmite man. Much enjoyed the humor and friendly rivalry. Signs of surrender are everywhere but it is just the calm before the storm. Excellent write, Tom.
Cunningham Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 1:08 PM
Thank you very much Vijay, a bit of photo trickery, had to download three pics then incorporate them into one, I have a lot of time on my hands lol, Glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Flood Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 11:44 AM
Oh heck, Tom. You did check to ensure that those Aussies haven’t got nukes di’nt ya? I mean… they eat Vegemite… I wouldn’t put anything past them.
Cunningham Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 1:06 PM
No worries Terry, they didn't get a chance to press the button lol. Tom
Hankins Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 11:34 AM
So, you've convinced me! I need to try out this marmite. Where can I get it here in the states? Does it come under another name? Peanut Butter or jam and jelly section?
Hankins Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 7:53 PM
Is Vegemite sweet, tart, sour, or acidic? Here's an opportunity for you to sell me on it. I'm already inclined to a jam or jelly-like concoction that is good on toast, as Tom says.
M  Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 3:03 PM
And Vegemite Milton????
Cunningham Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 1:05 PM
Thank you very much Milton, I've read some companies in the US import it, if your local store has an international section you might find it there, not to be confused with Vegemite lol. Tom
Ricci Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 10:09 AM
Hello Tom - Hi. You truly do not have a shortage of words and how your place theme in a story and scene. I do not know how long it took to write and execute but it is well thought out in its entirety. I enjoyed the manhunt of the queen (smile). Thank you for sharing your talent. Have a wonderful night. Blessings always...
Cunningham Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 1:02 PM
Thank you very much Lisa, a bit of banter between Deb and me. She's warned me to sleep with both eyes open lol. Tom
Y. Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 10:09 AM
Lol! Tom, I enjoyed your response to Deb's latest poem. Funny stuff. Have a nice day-Alexis
Cunningham Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 1:03 PM
Thank you very much Alexis, im happy you enjoyed the banter. Tom
M  Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 9:24 AM
The Queen will never be found….so Sir Tom remember what I’ve told you before“Beware and sleep with both eyes open”!,…..this battle is now just one on one Marmite Man just you and me! It may be silent for a while as I may lay low to gather my thoughts….but expect the unexpected Marmite Man! Vegemite Queen will return!
M  Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 2:45 PM
Hehe….
Cunningham Avatar
February 23, 2022 at 10:09 AM
I hope you are on the move because your IP address is being tracked. Expect a visit from a predator drone. We'll find you, Bin Laden thought he was safe lol. Tom
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