Short Marmite Poems

William Richard Wagner
whose music still causes a stir
Much like the spread 'Marmite'
loved or loathed never trite...

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The Marmite Man from Birmingham
Is also called Tom Cunningham
His Vegemite ban
Produced from Japan
Chocolate and banana jam...

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Pork scratchings & branston pickle
marmite and scotch eggs
ham eggs and picallili
chocolate fingers
peppermint aero
ribena
Cheers !...

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Hey Mister Tom Cunningham,
You are definitely the man,
Your poetic talents reaching far,
Your taste buds tantalized by a
Marmite jar!...

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I saw a girl down on all fours
Who looked just like Diana Dors
A Marmite girl
Whose toes would curl
Whenever Tom finished his chores!...

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Milton hosted a weenie roast
Tom requested Marmite on toast
But Milton said, "Hey!
This ain't the UK!
Your Marmite got lost in the Post!"...

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The Rugby World Cup Sevens girls
Made Marmite ladies lose their curls
Vegemite bossed
So England lost
Australia went home with the pearls...

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Tom flew down to Turkey to play
But found at the end of the day
Putin had to gobble
So there was a squabble
Hence the Marmite-Putin soufflé...

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After a bout of French kissing
Soup Creek's Mayor has gone missing
But a whippoorwill
Reports from Boot Hill
The Marmite Man has gone fishing...

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A duck that loved to play cricket
Slipped up on a sticky wicket
Of course Tom was there
With Marmite to spare
And a silver spoon to flick it!...

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Up and Down Australia's Gold Coast
All the hotels are prone to boast:
"You can ask your host
For Marmite on toast
But beware the Vegemite ghost!"...

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Disaster fell upon Soup Creek
When everyone heard Jenna shriek,
"Tom's Marmite was taken!
He'll have to eat bacon
Unless we all play Hide 'n Seek!"...

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She knew the moment he kissed her
That he could be the "Right" Mister
She needed a wrench
Because he was French
And Marmite greased his tongue-twister...

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Tom's Marmite supply disappeared
His wife said, "That's totally weird!
There's plenty of toast
From west to east coast
Did Putin or Bojo get smeared?"...

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In Phoenix, a story was told
That Tom Cunningham stashed his gold
Since Tom is a bard
They dug up his yard
Marmite in hand, Tom laughed, "You're cold!"...

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Tom's facemask sports a charming smile
For Cheerios - that's British style
But Putin's staff
Can't help but laugh
Tom's munching Marmite all the while!...

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Putin will not come to Soup Creek
Because someone called him a freak
But Trump says, "Don't worry!
Putin's in an hurry
To study Tom's Marmite technique!"...

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U.K. Tom picked a nasty grudge fight
About his much over-lauded Marmite
He got testy and bossy
Toward Deb, the kind Aussie
As he envied her fine Vegemite

1/4/22...

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Jenna reported an omen
The Abominable Snowman
Snuck into Soup Creek
And just like a Greek
Tom's Marmite filled its abdomen

 and it grew, and it grew, and it grew!...

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There was a poet named Milton
Who never slept in a Hilton
But Paris he knew
And Cambridgeshire, too,
Which is where he bought his Stilton*

* Stilton is an English cheese sans Marmite...

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Hello Marmite Man
Vegemite Viking here
Just enquiring Sir
If you’ve yet to have a smear
Of Vegemite…….!

The mite is brewing
In Down Under Land
Remember, sleep with both eyes open
Marmite Man……!...

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Deb an Aussie girl swears by vegemite
Now personally I don't think she's right
She's got in her head
It's the only spread
But for me nothing on earth beats MARMITE





Written 3rd January 2022


Dedicated to Deb....

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Soup Creek Toasts
Marmite cocktails are delicious I've heard
They are the hippest cocktails being served
So to raise a toast 
Tell Jenna the host
Mayor Tom's sure to be shaken and stirred.

6th September 2022...

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Dearest Marmite Man I await your response
With Vege-mitey breath
Or have you finally realised
You are out of your mitey depth? 

Have you had a light bulb moment
And seen the errors of your ways
Thrown away your Mar-mud  jar 
Happily eating Vegemite now …. Happy Days!!!...

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Vegemite lovers
Please comment below
There is a battle on 
As you probably know!

Vegemite versus Marmite
Can you even believe it
There is no comparison
As Marmite is s**t!!

Excuse my language
But it’s such an insult
C’mon Vegemite lovers
Let’s get the right result!!...

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