Maitre Poems | Examples

at heaven's gate

Don’t have to walk the dog
Or let the cat out
Don’t matter
If the seats left up or down
I always know 
Who farted
Still ask
Why are “we”
Watching this
Still check the mail
Mr. Edison
Writes monthly
The Maitre d’ shouts
“table for one”
OK…OK…
It’s the local deli
And a guy
Wearing baggy
Rubber gloves shouts
“NEXT”
I picture him
At heaven’s gate
Shouting…..

Third Row

Has anyone seen a heart,
looking for its owner?
lost mine short while ago
jilted in the third row

before the finale
notch seven, her tally

Has anyone found a heart?
Surely no one wants two
knowing what hearts go
through, unless one takes
them apart, her main feature
from the start -- 

Please, someone call the Maitre D 
with a flashlight for losers like me -- 
been dropped like popcorn, gummy bear,
paste ponytail clip, fake long blond hair

loudly she laughed, maybe spritz of pee

where Barbie sat, another downed today

cleanup in row three --

Oh My Maitre d

My Dear 
My Pretty Polly 
Oh My Maître d'
Serves you 
A Fine English 

'Iced tea 
Herbal tea 
Builders tea ' 

She is your Maître d' 

"Lemon tea 
Jasmine tea 
Fusion tea " 

My Dear 
My Pretty Polly 
Oh My Maitre d 
Serves you 
A Fine English 

'No sugar Sir ?
Thank you 
Not for me  ' 

The lady will take one
Srirred in her breakfast tea
Level 13 
Door 30 

My Dear
My Pretty Polly 
Oh My Maître d' 
Serve me 
My Fine English 
Pour me my tea .

An Appetizer

The food was chased by a bent tine fork
Along the surface of a smooth glass plate,
Eventually was skewered with brute force torque.

A similar force confronted an unyielding cork
But for this event, on this mechanical date,
The food was chased by the bent tine fork.

A stab of grace presented the French basted pork
And lingered face front like scavenger bait, 
Eventually was skewered with brute force torque.

Such moaning and discontent, could it have been more late
From a Five Star Diner in the village of York?
The food was chased by a bent tine fork.

It was not prepared by a chef but by a dork
More worthy of satiric praise than glowing hate, 
Eventually was skewered with brute force torque.

The Maitre d’Hotel offered his black plastic spork
Immensely gracious but too late.
The food was chased by a bent tine fork,
Eventually was skewered with brute force torque.

He's Really Nowhere, Man

H e ' s   r e a l l y   
Nowhere, man—
Living life
Sans plans
Stuck on roads
Kicking cans
Buying time

H e ' s   r e a l l y 
Nowhere, see—
Used to be
A maitre d'
For a cruise ship
On the sea
Finally escaped

H e ' s   r e a l l y 
Nowhere, son—
An enigmatic
Friend of none
Playing hard
Having fun
Dying inside

H e ' s   a   r e a l
Nowhere cat—
Doesn't care
Where he's at
Growing old
Getting fat
Trying to forget

Gospel Truth

This is a Rondine in pentameter

Never say never my darling Betty.
I think past sweet words have been a good  start
and know they’re ingress to a woman’s heart
Would you like to rest on this soft settee,
there is no danger its firm and steady.
Gospel truth, in pantsuit you look so smart.
Never say never.
I saw you, dear, at Tavern Gramercy.
In Effie Silk Dress you were piece of art,
I could have torn your lucky date apart.
The Maitre d' had your table ready
Never say never.

Magical Christmas Dinner

Impromptu early dinner
Before party crowds arrive
December festive décor
Christmas carols in the air
Far from holiday shopping madness
Dining halls extremely peaceful
All truly mesmerizing and ever so perfect
Surely this is how heaven be

The fireplace ablaze and crackling
The jeweled tree propped in the corner
Glittering and winking on cue
This is indeed the best of the season
A fond memory through the year
Treasured preciously in our hearts
We meant to return every year
To repeat this heavenly date

Life happened – too busy or too poor -
Finally we did make it out
Excited at the prospect
Of renewing our enchantment
But where was our tree
Nowhere to be seen
The Maitre D’ insisted
There never ever was a tree
No matter what we had to say

In awe we sat in disbelief
Finally thanking stars up above
For our favourite Christmas memory
The one we both remember
No one will ever convince us
That Christmas magic is a myth



Published in my 24-page photo/anthology book ~THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS~ 2023

AP: Honorable Mention 2021

Submitted on December 6 2017 for contest CHRISTMAS TREE sponsored by SHADOW HAMILTON

Raw Love Celebration

You incite me 
You're exciting
Are you providing a sheltered love?
No objection

I need your thoughtful care
I enjoy you more and more each day
Delicious affection a heavenly constellation
Confetti ready

Drowning in celebration
Raw winged spell bound 
Roaring anticipation
Michel Angelo  Sistine

The ceiling how appealing
Becoming undone at the seams
I'm straightening when ever I
Lean in to hear you whisper

Intensifying breaths of roses
I am pouring this love out to you 
In desperation, episodes of heart
Pounding contemplation 

Fluttering hearts contagion
Of sonnet say it seductively
Am I your royal joy?
I will not faulter in this

Honor I am your Roy Roy
You are the maitre d' of me.
Enjoy be clever and thinly coy
Diligently love me free.

Whats In a Name

He served me up an ice cream sundae on a trey,
with only one cherry on top to my dismay,
instead asked the maitre dee for a parfait,
he said roger that I'll bring it back with no delay,

And while at the cafe I overheard a lady saying she wanted to sue,
angry about the dry cleaners ruining her rose suit,
I just went about my way the story getting harry,
next thing I knew my boyfriend asked me to mary me,

We ended up getting married on a summer's eve,
but my new husbands colin burst when he let out a sneeze,
using a philips screwdriver that was up my sleeve,
we put it back now intact with one les bill to grieve,

Then later I managed to get stuck in the john,
my husband jimmied the lock and I was gone,
soon things started to get back to newlywed norm,
each day waking up for our jobs at the break of dawn,

Afterwards for 9 months ate nothing but pickles and candy,
suddenly I felt my luke warm water break which was jim dandy,
now baby makes three which means more to cary,
along with our pet tomcat whom we named scaredy.


11-10-16

Familiar Stranger

You know him
This man you never met
You know him

You've seen that walk before,
the cool, confident stride
You've seen that smile before,
perfect white teeth
with a grin a mile wide

You know him
This man you never met
You know him

You've heard that voice before,
the ultra-cool smooth cadence
You've seen those clothes before,
gator shoes, leather pants
and a silk shirt diamond laden

Oh, you know him,
you know him for sure
This man you never met
has you checking your memory once more

You've witnessed this entrance before,
fur coat draped over a chiseled arm
You saw this kind of heads turning before,
maitre d' running like he heard a fire alarm

Yes, you know him
This man you never met
What you don't understand
is how you could ever forget

Gardens - After Dark

Gardens – After Dark

Buddha sits stoically observing his garden.
The Gnomes snore as the Fairies toss and turn
asleep on the soft petals of flowers.  The impish
Pixies party with the flashy fireflies.
Nocturnal seekers. Mice, forever paranoid,
scurry to and fro in a break even carbohydrate burn.
The raccoons, mask-wearing felons, are more direct.
They have already “cased the joint” and are sure of their objective.
Le Skunk, “but of course”, Pepe LePew, he fears no one,
boldly waves his white stripe, slowly peruses the menu.
Monsieur Owl, something of a Maitre d’, oversees the
dining arrangements - while planning his own.
The first hint of sunshine will trigger “last call,
dew will form on the flower petals awakening the Fairies.
Fireflies will drop the pixies at their three story walk-ups.
Gnomes will snort, stretch, and scratch themselves.
A gentle breeze will cue the wind chime.
The Buddha yawns, the birds sing morning prayers.


6/20/2016

submitted to – Little People – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Shadow Hamilton

Love Don'T Sweat

Written By:  D. Collins 12/1/15


Love don’t sweat in rain, sleet, or snow.
It’ cool, calm,  and collected in dealing with foes.
It doesn’t worry.  God gives it an upper hand.
A decisive advantage over every other man.

Love don’t sweat, it tag-teams with old school.
When they think its sleeping, it comes right at you.
It may have to dress up in camouflaged fatigues.
And repel upon you from the tops of trees.

Love is intimate.  Its close and personal.
It gives you a hug and says what’s happening Bro?
It is indiscreet with nothing but good intent.
It can suddenly change and want revenge.

All is good in a world of love and hate.
Love has never gotten to the party late.
It’s the Maitre D’ who greets you at the door.
It’s extremely confident and never insecure.

Thanksgiving

The Pilgrim told the Maitre d
I’ve had too much, no more for me
The food was great, the fruit was ripe
I’ll take a hit off of that pipe

“I’d like to dance”, said the Indian girl
The lad was shy and white as pearl
The fire lit the forest floor
The drums played late, they yelled for more

The elder pilgrim told the Chief
We love your land beyond belief
We mean well now and wish you health
But those that follow may want your wealth

The Chief sat back, eyes to the night
We know they’re coming but we are tight
Feast with us now, enjoy the living
This party will be known as the “First Thanksgiving”

They partied on like family close
The elders rose to give a toast
We thank you Lord for this fine day
We know tomorrow will be what may

Mice

The mouse lives a simple life
Eating out for free
'The a la carte menu please'
He tells the maitre d

He orders chocolate biscuits
Some tasty dried fruit too
And you know when he's about
By the little pile of poo

He sleeps where it is cosy
And ventures out at night
He sniffs his way to food
And keeps hidden out of sight 

But mice should live in gardens
Not behind skirting boards
They live in huge great families
Like little warrior hordes. 
 
So if you see a mousey
Make sure he goes outside 
All he wants is warmth and food
And a quiet place to hide

His Child Standing At, Time's Door

We couldn't see the turmoil past their swirling smoke
Something strange although ? Seeking for a gesture her children
Granted this clarity should not be given; at least, in his physical realm
Ninty-nine blue balloons these answers wavering amid another's storms saddling
Up their unicorns ride captain ride, upon your mystery ship ? Bovine bottles and goat milk
Spilling from their lips hedge hog philosophy drawn from, portentouslies mystical pit: labyrinthos
Doggerel dogma Dodo's delirium tremens delivered aside Dae's podium being definitive's deism hiscere...
Maitre d'hotel feigned her facade espouse, gyrations; marinated peace signs his pork's stillborn ? Love's keyhole.

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