Funny Lust Poems

Ever been treated like you’re a slice of cake?
By the kind of sleazy men that slither like a  snake?
They’re not the type to give,...

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It’s funny, I think.
We had the talk.
I wrote about it
But the words never fit.
Still, I wrote.
Just to remember
As much as I could.

It’s funny because…

You said...

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Easing the panties down off of a cutie
Provides a good view of her natural beauty

With delicate fabric then out of the way
That play field's clear...

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Snow White took an unladylike bite
of a big red apple polished bright
	she snoozed quite a while
	he kissed her with guile
and they shared an afternoon delight...

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Cheeks were meant for kissing
Hands were meant for holding
Ears were meant for listening
Arms were meant for enfolding

Eyes were meant for ogling
Mouths were meant for stuffing
Hair...

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It’s funny how I suddenly felt extremely beautiful after they constantly mentioned it.
It’s funny how I am extremely happy after I’ve talked to them for...

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Lip-locked lust.
Bust to bust.
Eye to eye.
Thigh to thigh.

Twice a week.
Cheek to cheek.
Nose to nose.
Toes to toes.

Not a peep.
Sleep to sleep.
Back to back.
Crack to crack....

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This is about Lenny and Jenny,
Whose love had begun with no Penny
But Jenny's songs all about Lenny,
Thousands ready to swear 'uncanny',
Not excluded Miss Jenny's Granny,
Who...

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--Ashtray's Mistakes--


Prehistoric defibrillating battlegrounds. The memorial, obviously unpleasant.

Entrapped in the know how, detrimental reimbursement.

Sundried; like the corpse of a moon bridge, fading away.

Tinfoil hats do...

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L’amoureux brindezingue dit non avec la tète
Le cerveau fort agité amèrement s’embête
Pendant qu’il dit oui avec le cœur enflammé
D’un amour incertain, embaumé et emmitouflé
Oh !...

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There once was an old man named Bob
Who had a terrible heart throb

When in walked the nurse
She only made it worse

Cause she said, “I’m the...

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I had a date (not a great date but a date)! Could our covid nightmare be ending? 

An actual one-on-one date - can you imagine?...

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Forever
   
                   Feasting  famished,

...

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The woman with the Caucasian phrases never ceases to amaze this f***ng guy.
He is a malcontent who's own personal discontent leaves an empty void needing...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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