I loved you
But God, I had to leave
It wasn't you but it wasn't me
We just didn't work and I had to leave
But I need you to know
It hurt me too
After you left
It was never the same
No one seemed to understand
That You Weren't Coming Back
I tried calling you
On the first day
You said
Nothing
You didn't pick up
I tried again
Still
Nothing
I began to realize that
You wouldn't
Ever
Answer
But I
Didn't
Give
Up
On your birthday,
I called
Waited
Cried for the rest of the day
On Christmas Eve,
I called
Waited
You don't have anyone else to be with
On Valentines Day,
I called
Waited
Sent you a box of chocolates
Three days later,
It came back
With your handwriting,
Return to Sender
I
Cry
and
Cry
Why
Did
You
Leave?
WHAT SHADOWS TOLD
Beneath the glow
While candles burned
Our shadows told
What secrets shared
Fast your breath
Untied your dress
I miss you most
My thoughts are there
You never told
You could not bare
You counted stars
Till sleep drew near
Among those folds
Of linen cold
In that room's dark
You disappeared
I am twenty-six. She is twenty.
Laughs and kisses bloom aplenty.
Her hand, on mine, gently presses.
My heart, she so endears.
She smiles and disappears
into a store for dresses.
There, over forty years ago,
a lady with hair as white as snow
shared my bench in the mall.
With a heavenly smile so sweet
her two words said it complete.
I knew she said it all.
Over forty years apart,
Why did I not take those words to heart?
How soon will I be dead?
I believe she was an angel sent there.
Her unheeded words, wise and rare.
"Keep her!" is all she said.
I DESPAIR
I despair
Was sorrow
Led me to your knee
My cheek won quiescence
Though my heart
A hunted hare
Did not share this stay
My courage once true
Has beat a hurried retreat
Your eyes I would not provoke
My undressing
To cast upon the wounds
I champion here
And I despair
Resolute, my devotion
My soul conquered
A driven stake
Flies your standard clear
To know another bested me
Without need of staff or blade
The formality a duel declared
Will curse my name
Now must I bear
Through bloody battle
Through weary journey
Was your heart
Not metal plate
Blessed me safe
Your sleeve held near
Nights I could not wait
And I despair
Your silence is my shame
Your tear has drowned
A flame I know we share
And I despair
Before the sky claimed them, they were only a man and a woman
two mortals foolish enough to love
The gods took pity on no one.
He became the Red Man Sun,
a blazing titan shackled to the sky,
forced to rise each morning for a world
that feeds on his fire
but denies him freedom.
His heat once warmed her skin in the autumn wind
now it burns him alive from the inside,
She became the Blue harvest Moon,
cold with grief,
the long dark nights she brings light autumn is gone
her love lingers on
She chases him endlessly,
a breath too late
he rises and she falls
As the full blue harvest moon chases the autumn sun
awaiting an eclipse
A glimpse of their love that once was
the sky itself is their prison
Still, they reached for each other
forever almost touching,
forever denied.
The Red Man Sun.
The Blue harvest Moon.
.
Turtles on the beach,
From burrows called by the moon,
Drawn to the sound of the sea.
Morning comes too soon.
Shadows of curved trapezoids,
Appear on the sand ahead.
Now they're caught between,
Never born and surely dead.
I'm struck by an unknown rush,
At ten years of age.
Golden laughter leads me to,
Put my feelings to the page.
Found after recess,
With everyone standing there,
Subjected to ridicule,
Love stings those who dare.
Who claims life or love is fair?
Underneath Orion's Belt
Underneath, my love would rise
Underneath the moon, I knelt
Underneath her loving eyes
Underneath the mistletoe
Underneath a pristine prize
Underneath the ebb and flow
Underneath my lover's thighs
Underneath my hollow heart
Underneath the moonless sky
Underneath, I'm torn apart
Underneath, my love would lay
Underneath my living hell
Underneath, I hope to die
Underneath I pray to dwell
Underneath...my love and I
I JUST LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH
Loneliness is as a period
Without a full sentence;
It mirrors a riverbed
That once knew water;
Yes, loneliness can be canvassed
As a dried eggshell that has lost all:-
You were my life’s sentence, water, and yoke:
And this life of mine, just misses you so much:-
Reaching the twilight zone of my life
when tiny pieces of memories are the
most precious possessions of a meaningful journey,
my thoughts are flooded with unspoken words
as my mind wanders back to the poignant past
with love, some regrets, boundless yearning
for the days which once felt like staying forever.
a chance encounter on a weathered dock,
gossamer melting rays of sun fell on us,
I remembered the unsaid words,
which I and you should have uttered,
but strangely failed to.
Our eyes met, our lips quivered,
Our hearts almost burst into fragments,
but this was the only time,
not a word was voiced,
everything around us - remained hushed!
Is today the day the world, who witnessed the heartbreak,
wants us to speak,
Is today the day we no longer restrain
our throbbing hearts when I meet you
at this amber sunset,
when all the remnants of life blend together?
Or this day will again glide the same unruffled way
as it had trotted by many years ago?
Traversing the petrified pining wasteland
I reached the emerald meadow,
emerged from the abyss of condensed aloneness
to be with you, entwined,
in the stellar sapphire night of desire,
but the enchanting echo of your faint footsteps
faded away from the portal of my heart.
What stayed with me
was the sound of silence you made,
I heard in the music of memory,
hidden in the fervor of my emotion, unexpressed.
As the ticking clock of our sanguine time stopped
at the edge of eternity,
my yearning like the sun
flaming the fleeting horizon
engulfed you with the sensual spectrum of craving,
the pacified passion got configured
into the unvoiced language of love,
composing the lilting lyric of belonging
intonated by my ardent words, unsaid.
When drifting on the delusive trail
of the melting mirage of memory menagerie
you disappeared like the dry dust
of the caved-in dune of the desolate desert,
I heard the mute me murmur, I love you,
I never said to you.
DARK AND QUIETER STILL
When dark and quieter still
The hours melt away
A whisper on a wick
My true and secret flame
Her need for breath and life
Puts memory to shame
Each night I lie awake
Each night she dies the same
Shall she be reborn
When ash can only blame
This whisper wrapped in wax
My true and secret flame
A winter has come into our forest
I have no idea exactly how long
I was merely a long-lost tourist
And now I see of all our leaves are gone.
Nothing damages more than a hard frost
The landscape lay injured and strained
All of the critters are scattered and lost
A sad reminder of all of the pain.
The Winter was here longer than I know
Ravaging more than I could foretell
Above my knees in the freezing snow
Stuck in the sad foliage of farewell.
I take a plow and push through the past.
Bury the blade into our history.
I pick through ice for a mere blade of grass
Any sign of life spells my victory.
I come upon the knotted root of the oak
A fork left on a meal of an empty plate.
The tears from my eyes beginning to soak
The jagged legs that mark my mistakes.
Roots are strong and full of wisdom
They are churned inside the earth so deep
Between these toes is quite the schism
Loud enough to wake me from my sleep.
The branches lurch toward Heaven so high
The stark, black fingers reach towards the Sun
I pray that Spring comes back into our lives
That we can return where we once begun.
IN AN OF A ONCE WILTED FLOWER BLOOMING AGAIN
Hey, paper flowers
Don’t grow
And love is not
A fun plaything:-
You tickled my heart,
And I giggled silly tears;
You then reeled me in
As I feasted on your sweet bait;
Then, you left, leaving me like
An old cemetery: full and lifeless:-
Now I ride a roller coaster of emotions
Up and down the tainted rails,
Life all so often travels:-
However, companions of pain and fear,
Are ceasing to be old road dogs,
Without whom I can’t survive;
And you will soon become
A faded keloid, my heart
Once tearfully bore:-
Now blooming
In the healing garden
Of passion, I fragrantly grow;
Waiting to be plucked and watered
In a vase of true and everlasting love:
May my given love, nourish your growth:-
Do not discard my letters you fool
If you refuse to show them to your lover
Then study them in solitude,
Meditate upon my words,
You'll see I do not seek to pry her from your hands
I only wish for you to comprehend what you have
I have described her features in a way no other mortal can
I've drawn maps of the ways to her heart,
Yes, there's more than one
Be more prudent than I was
Heed my words and treat your angel right
Be just, compassionate and patient with her,
Listen to her!
There's more wisdom in my other letters
Prevail where your predecessor failed.
Do not think me noble though,
For if you let her slip,
I'll catch her in haste
And I shan't repeat my mistakes twice,
She'll be mine till the end of time.
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