Long Willfully Poems
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The Voice
Naming this voice in my head
Causes me to dig deep in a place
Where dreams slowly fade away, and hope has gone unfed
Frequent darkness and loneliness, I’m struggling in this chaotic space
Willfully traveling through this emotional state
I begin to realize, this may be my eternal fate
Allowing past failures control, my mind can’t carry this weight
Feels like I’m slowly falling, holding on by a strand
The mind plays certain tricks, hope you understand
Voice so intrusive, I know firsthand
Mara is your name, the one I’m trying to shed
You’re causing all these setbacks, these thoughts I must replace
With affirmations, my soul can relate
To joy of positivity, this voice now banned
August 7, 2021
Content: Writing Prompt - Fragmented Spaces Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Constance La France
Each time I look toward heaven
and see a falling star.
I say a simple prayer to God.
for keeping me thus far.
Through closed eyes I visualize
Jesus, hanging on sins tree.
Bearing the sin of the world
dying for you and me.
They nailed His hands and pierced His side
such a terrible sight I see.
At that moment His blood was shed
one drop fell on me.
Jesus had such love within Him
A love, genuine and true.
In death saying, "Father forgive them;
for they know not what they do."
Through a falling star I'm allowed to see
that life is much the same as then.
If willfully we disobey His will
we crucify Him again.
Meandering in ocean breeze, love pondered romantic themes
Cherishing each other's company, early days saw happy dreams
Boasting vibrant sunsets we strolled, charming ardent evenings
Wallowing depth of loving embrace, longing to hold till eternity
Things soon changed, as cosmic paradise became a sullen sky
When bewildered stars saw you depart without a hint of sigh
Abandoning me on a lonesome path hurting my doting pride
Never uttering a word of regret, having left without a goodbye
Now you arrive, uninvited, reminiscing in days of fervid hues
As foolishly I discard my heart's protest, saying our love's true
Demanding a response from someone whom I so dearly knew:
Anyone who had a heart would love me too. Why won't you?
Indulging in my love you evoke passions deliberately tantalizing
Arousing memories we left behind when dawn was still rising
Claiming your place as beloved, finding comfort in its meaning
As I let you steal my kisses willfully, blown fondly from my lips
Forgive me I won't, upon quiet reflection, for what I've done
Allowing you to fool me again at the urging of genuine love
Condoning you hiding behind the faceless stories you've spun
Wanting your attention before I curl up like a rose abandoned
June 24, 2018
Placed 2nd in Cilla Black contest by Teppo Gren
Song: Anyone who had a heart
Lovely. Marvelous. Wonderful. Great. Terrific. Superb. Well done. Bravo. Wow.
Yes I am practicing in the mirror for the Olympics’ positive affirmation delivery competition.
Tremendous, I say. My eyes are glittering happily.
Stupendous, I say. My nose wrinkles in a funny way.
Ever-shineful, I say. I laugh.
Mindfully, willfully, happily, skillfully done, I congratulate myself.
You have my love, my hopes and my dreams, I tell myself. Yes, I can use this.
Always in admiration, my friend. Always in awe I think as I drive to the competition.
I enter the arena, confident. My number is called. I walk onstage in front of thousands of people.
I am excited, thrilled, glad to be our country’s representative.
Then they bring out a person who has a dour, sour, mean look.
Her arms are folded and she is glaring at me. She reminds me of the meanest teacher I ever had, a person I have never forgiven.
My work is to get this unknown person to high five me.
This is impossible, I say, so I bow out. I am the third to do so.
Body language and facial cues are everything.
We read you and feel you before you ever say a word.
Inspired by Iron Maiden song " I live my way"
I walk my life at my own pace I set,
create the course on the lone pathway I pave.
I see unwanted faceless people
probe me at their will,
break the barrier of protected privacy and pry,
asking incisive questions
that invades the realm of my persona.
I don’t answer.
They want their fragile footprints
I follow in meek compliance,
abandon willfully on the wayside
what defines my identity,
exist as a formless empty entity
and impersonate their hollow lives.
They hit me with caustic comments,
tell me I’m utterly inflexible.
The atypical manner of my behavior,
they feel is blatantly eccentric.
I don’t react.
My heart sinks dejected
in the quicksand of unfriendly times.
My emotions struggle to rise
from the despondent debris.
Things good they do for me voluntarily
I can’t acknowledge loud,
but the buds of affinity for them bloom in me,
I adore unexpressed.
My porous sensitivity absorbs gratefully
all the inarticulate feelings,
I don’t demonstrate.
I’ll be doing till the end of my time
what I do, being totally forthright,
for I’m me.
Even if they call me an obdurate being,
I don't care.
Confession is the telling of our sins to a duly authorized priest, for the purpose of abstaining forgiveness
We are bound to confess our mortal sins. But it is well also to confess our venial sins.
The chief qualities of a good confession are three: it must be humble, sincere and entire.
Our confession is humble when we accuse ourselves of our sins, with a deep sense of shame and sorrow for having offended God
Confession are sincere, when we tell our sins honestly and truthfully either exaggerating nor excusing them
Confession is entire, when we tell the number and kinds of our sins and the circumstances which change their nature
If we cannot remember the number of our sins, we should tell the number as nearly as possible, and say how often we may have sinned in a day, a week or a month and how long the habit or practice lasted.
If without our fault we forget to confess our mortal sin Tour Confession is worthy, and the sin is forgiven; but it must be told on confession if it again comes to our mind
It is grievous offense willfully concealed a mortal sin in Confesasion must not only confess it, but also repeat all the sins he has committed since his last worthy confession.
The priest gives us a penance after Confession, that we may satisfy God for the temporal punishment due to our sins
The Sacrament of Penance remits the eternal punishment due to sin but does not always remit the temporal punishment which God requires as satisfaction for our sins
God requires a temporal punishment as a satisfaction for sin, to teach us the great evil of sin and to prevent us from falling again.
The chief means by which we satisfy God for the temporal punishment due to sin are: Prayer, Fasting, Almsgiving, all spiritual and corporal works of mercy, and the patient suffering of the ills of life
Spiritual works of mercy are 7: To admonish the sinner, to instruct the ignorant, to counsel the doubtful, to comfort the sorrowful, to bear wrongs patiently, to forgive all injuries, and to pray for the living and the dead.
The Chief corporal works of mercy are 7: To feed the hungry, to give drink to the thirsty, to cloth the naked, to ransom the captive, to harbor the harborless, to visit the sick and to bury the dead
Justice is a lie fabricated by the white man
Benefited towards whiteness and proximity to it
It doesnt take generosity to see
That a system used to police would be against the black race
A system started after slavery -
Policing or incarceration
Once control of freedom was lost
They resorted to us being unjustly locked up
Justice was never made for us
It was just a quick solution to the problem -
Us
Their motive wasn't to protect and serve,
Except for the oppressors
It was to keep black people in chains with 'means and cause'
But really it was because the 13th ammendment had a loophole
A clause used as a weapon for control
Justice doesn't exist, it never did
A myth created by the monolith
Lies on the black man are excused
And when we're killed it's self defence
Because apparently being black is a criminal offense
Don't insult our intelligence
Trying to gaslight us into believing we're delusional
But it's hard to ignore when our eyes are constantly exposed -
To your unjust treatment
We are not blind to being targeted
It's not some hidden secret
It happens worldwide, you just willfully ignore it
Having power means you don't have to be cautious
You don't even have to explain the obvious
The oppressors own the narrative
When your privileged no one gets to question your decisions
Justice resides in the hands of those with pale skin -
Or those who are accepted within it,
Or to put it simply those with black or are mixed with black skin
'Justice' was only there to place us in prison
And to keep them the 'victims'
I empty...that I may be filled;
I fast, so that the filling even
greater for the added hunger –
I am a vessel, at the pleasure
of Christ. He that pours into
me, knows the intimate nature
of my heart, to serve our Father
in all capacity – I admit not life
outside of God. Christ's pure essence,
which I freely willfully breathe in,
is my source and all sustenance
needed – I stand back, that
I may follow – I pause, that He
may start me – Christ is the
bread of my body, the juice
of my blood, the pulsing joy
of my being – I focus on His
mirror brightness, capturing image,
warmth of reflection, that I may shine
onto others...a mere copy. We are
nobodies, cold shadows, when missing
the beaming luster of Christ-presence
Divine.
Life is a Janus-faced Siren--
Willfully whimsical,
Childishly headstrong.
It is death’s nemesis,
The soul’s swan song,
A black widow, a mirage,
A wily enchantress,
An elusive chimera.
Not everybody
get to realize their dreams,
Their fondest wishes,
Their most fanciful whims.
Some days you’ll get
to bring home the moon,
And days when you can’t
even light a candle to dispel
your haunting shadows;
There are times when you
can harness the whirlwind,
At times it’ll be a struggle
just to breathe to stay alive;
Sometimes the wind will be a zephyr
and at times a sweeping gale,
Sometimes the way will be
a long stretch of freeway,
And more often than not,
Oh, life will lead you
down a rocky road!
Sometimes you get
to ride the jaguar and
At times you
chug along on a jolty jalopy.
Tread lightly into her lair
Lest you provoke her ire;
A true confidant of Time
Together they play havoc
with the soul of man,
Stripping him of all his luster
Of all his flamboyant spirit--
Hold on to her
But not too dearly,
Let go off her
But not too lavishly,
Walk not behind her,
But neither lead,
Fall in steps with her
and waltz with
the beat of time!
~10/29/15
Life according to..." contest by Silent One
I chose to willfully break the law. He did not.
I even sought to overthrow the government. He did not.
I was a rebel, a thief, and a criminal. He was not.
I deserved to be punished. He did not.
I deserved to die. He did not.
I asked to be remembered in the future. On that very day, he took me to paradise.
They took my life. He gave his life.
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