Long Whack Poems

At the footbridge Sue was meeting her beau
(He was married to a woman called Flo)
Sue soon found out his deception
She dismembered his erection
For his love life it was a massive blow

To the hospital fled poor...

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Was the place where we climbing down the bank
Then arrived, alpine and, for what was there
Such as, that any eyesight would be shrank.

Similar to landslide that in side bare
Before Trento the Adige just smote,
Or for...

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Betty was bonafide crazy. She had shot her husband after a night of drunken quarreling, and was in the state mental hospital instead of being in the slammer. She'd shot the louse in the stomach...

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I wait with bated breath for... C. Cure T. Clarence

The following crafted 
approximately midway 
into the administration 
of forty fifth president,
whose crass, gutsy, lewd,
repulsive yawping finds
him squarely poised to
nab the nomination as
Republican front runner
come the...

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Relationships are like farming,
if you don't plant the seed,
you'll have no crop to harvest.
Rumi (M. Mafi, trans.)

Investing is like farming,
if you don't play the game,
you'll have no winnings.

Economics is like farming,
if you don't play this...

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I’ve always been a prankster and a lover of a joke.
I love to see the puzzled look on an unsuspecting bloke,
when he looks around and lifts his hat - totally confused.
Some take a joke for...

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Warning: Mature themes, though at the time.             

             Recollections of a...

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Ink roached infestation didst derive within mice elf

Minor emendations to following
just posted verse
oversight to correct dissatisfaction,
yours truly I do curse
ah... methinks if hands of time 
can be made to go in reverse
a more exemplary version
to...

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Hm, well, I see you need to give yourself a lot more credit
Than you give yourself daily – you’re modest, I do admit 

You have a witty and clever side in you deep down
What about...

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Me un Finn came  'round

In what did we found

The Pub, wid a very large lock

Aye keep the key where no one cann see

Said our find mate, Erik McJock

So, let us awl in, out spurted...

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Welcome back my weary friends
I promise you this story ends
But not before your time flies through
A tale with a horse or two...

On streets of cobblestone and gray
Where beggars sleep and orphans play
The aged, sick and...

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Back in the 1990s, my wife and I spent a couple years - and thousands of dollars - completely restoring a 1958 Chevrolet Impala convertible. A very rewarding experience, but also, at times, a veritable...

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Coronavirus microbe (COVID-19) begat...
heebie jeebies couple months before March 15th, 2020

More'n three hundred and sixty six days ago,
a pandemic did devastatingly blow
across the webbed wide world
dark shadows spelled glow
bull horror seeds of hell show
did terrify...

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Ink roached infestation didst derive within mice elf

Thus writer of these words
forever mus lee experiencing 
craving to eat cheese,
a milk product 
eternally preserved within 
annals, chronicles, epistles, 
et cetera of human civilization 
and it's discontents...

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The Antics Of A Yoyo Thief

Potential life of as juvenile delinquent
(ala bam mean future streetwise thug)
stopped dead in the tracks – manacles
the above two lines hopefully gives hint
nearly changing changing life of one boy
an undersized...

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Horror squeezes my chest like pliers on a straw ...
There - out there in the black,
Something moved ... again ...
Just briefly, a flash of pale in the ink,

But enough so I knew it was real.
I...

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Author's note: This is not intentionally a historical piece, dear readers, but I thought I should probably add a bit of background info primarily for the benefit of my more international friends and colleagues on...

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Lima describe how yours truly went Peru zing...

thru truckloads of his personal communiqués broadcast
(methinks quite some years ago) across world wide web,
but now still smarting from selfishness, I feel quite aghast.

Yes practically every word
needs be...

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At the mercy of interminable anticipatory anxiety, hence...

viz hitted courtesy debilitating 
one after another panic attack
analogous being bombarded with flak
worse fate then death
or being tortured on the rack,
no mortal experience compares 
regarding psychological paralysis
just ask...

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Coronavirus microbe (COVID-19)

(alternately titled: yours truly doth mutter
asthma bowled dug gutter 
pin yon hated chap strikingly and gently weeps, 
whereby melts milquetoast like butter.)

Aye reckon eyes aforementioned 
entitled microscopic organism
doth strain credulity threatening 
Homo sapiens...

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True "FAKE" Story Of A Vita Man Junky
(any resemblance between this poem,
and living persons...iz purely coincidental.)

Ruthlessly abuzz in my mind
     loosed another idea
     for a poem asper
(wren)...

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Mine gerund farming, tilling, and harvesting illogical weltanschauung

Twas accursed destiny
since birth (maybe coded in
deoxyribonucleic acid  
since time immemorial) alas and alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,
one common Joe biden his time
for no particular
rhyme...

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born two days 
after ole Punxsutawney i.e. the Doctor Phil - 
of woodchucks Latin Name = Marmota Monax 
nest resembled Rastafarian hair weave, 
which creature rattled with ire and peeveishness, 

when rudely roused from his...

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This Year’s Champion

It’s the last of the snow
Spring finally arrived
Time to get ready for battle
Time to get my little hands 
On my bag of marbles
Way up there since winter
Abandoned on my bookshelf
A droopy, limp blue...

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among the countless thugs
   that teased and taunted myself as a boy
who exhibited blatant characteristics
   of being painfully shy and coy
attempting to remain like a statue as a decoy
which tactic nada...

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