Long Wath Poems

There once was a man from Duluth
whose habit was spinning the truth.
He had told the same tale
(every day without fail;
'twas getting quite long in the tooth).

He sat down to drink in a booth
then ordered a...

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The boiling point aproaches like roaches in my appartement
I hope you're looking down curiously watching me	
Cause I'm not afraid to joyfully use prophanity and blasphemy	
Dare you to charge!!!after all natural disasters taken place inside of...

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As the autumn and winter seasons inexorably unfold,
You can bet that I'm destined to catch my annual cold!
I've tried every remedy from the local pharmacist's shelf,
Includin' syrups, lozenges, even toddies to cure myself!

My nothe ith...

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and like theriouthly what wath their problem
ith jutht thex
the story continues on all the way to newfoundland
who sort of did it justice, how jesus even taught them to procreate is beyond me
I's the bye that...

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I    ONLY    SPEAK   SECOND-RATE   SPANISH





I didn’t say it then, but I can say it now -
I can say many things in many languages, and how!
English,...

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When I wath born the doctor thaid 
"Oh dear I dropped him on hith head" 
My family thued and we were rich 
Becauthe I have thith thtubborn lithp 

Dethpite it all I wathn't thy 
Jutht...

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shhhh...please don't tell Jan I tattled on her.

Did you hear 'bout Jan's custard a-la-plum
While making it she drank far too much rum
while on her wobbly legs
put mustard in the eggs
It was wretched and tasted like...

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