Long Unloveable Poems

you are sick, and I know that 
that’s why I will never be mad at you 
I can understand and feel your pain perfectly 
your brain’s your biggest enemy 
always fighting against you 
and I...

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What if I let you in my head
all the noise 
all the stress
all the problems
would you leave
like so many before you
or would you be different
and try to help instead

What if I cried in your arms
sobbing...

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Discrediting plausibility 
by shredding their humility 
to a place of vulnerability 
devoured by inabilities 
cowardice incompetence 
showered into consciousness 
empowered causing confidence 
validation found in compliments 
a false sense of accomplishment 
resort to intense punishment...

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Why am I awake?
I'm tired, so so tired.
But I can't sleep.
I've tried everything.
But the silence,
Its deafening,
The screams bring me to my knees.
I am not enough,
I am not worth it,
I am not allowed
the basic rights of...

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LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE 
LOVE
Love is a single soul that 
dwells in 2 bodies
It's a world full of hope, life 
and unending happiness
Love is a force more 
formidable than any known 
force
It's a thought, an...

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MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT

When I read newspapers, or hear stories, 
of terrorism and crime.
When I’m suffering, as others due to illness,
or because someone loved … has died.

I ask myself, perhaps you have to,
Is this what God...

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A feather floating away from your brain.
As he is whispering your name.
Pushing all your feelings away from me.
Landed on a box, In a solitude
Sea
 People scooping up things they don't need.
Whining, that their boxes never...

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Hidden in weeds
 heart vavle on squeeze 
Watch me not bleed
Even if it cuts deep
Keeps you away from 
My  boredom  pale bule face
Made you see, me
The unloveable me
 On a big 
 ...

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Inside my brain resides
A deadly combination
Of my mother's maniacal heritage
And my father's drunken rages.
A perfect storm, if you will,
Leaving behind dreams
Destroyed by doubt
And hopes undone by fear.
Leaving darkness and chaos,
Echoes of what was
Or what could...

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“feeling not thinking, soul with love linking ~

we attained God consciousness unblinking”

I've been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve
that I try too hard to love others
that I open my heart up to...

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My whole life, I felt like something was missing, like   my heart's desire   was only half full. But, I was okay.

Then one day, 
 because  you liked me, 
 because...

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My body,
carries
the weight of the pack.
Walking,
and seeking to pray.
Vast space
opens,
my unlockable hope.
Silence,
keeps monsters at bay.

My breath,
eases
at the sight of the moon.
Echoing,
everything is okay.
Lupine flower
kisses,
my unloveable me.
Fields,
offer beds to lay.

My spirit,
strengthens
inside of my walls,
pushing,
them out of...

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why do i sit here
all scared and stuff 
if you asked
me why?  i'd say
i don't know

is this the quiet
before the storm?
if it is, lets get on
with it because 
i don't like it.

i should not...

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In the music, everything burns away
And I’m left in a soundless vacuum filled with faceless people
The emotions that were bubbling inside my soul
Spilling out into a great dark intangible space
Suddenly I realize
For the millionth time
That...

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i tried so hard to be gentle for you, to be quiet for you

i tried to silence my anger so your adulation could be heard

in the end, you did make me quiet. but, my anger...

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Real courage is something you find deep inside
When your down and almost beaten
When you rise against the odds
Against logic and reason and yet succeed
To cou rage is to rout it
To mercilessly dominate all of you...

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You've made me feel
weak
Pathetic
Small
You've made me feel
Inadequate
Shameful 
unloveable 
And raw
You halted my dance 
And forced me to crawl
You taught me true fear
I'll never trust anyone
Ever 
Not at all
You've fed me to the wolves
And left me...

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God

I have not seen God's face; but I know he's there.
I feel and see him all around me.
In my blindness, you are my vision.
From the birds in the sky; to answer to prayers. 

I may not...

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i am angry
i am offended
i am blue

notice the i, i, i,
when will it end?

dammit, i hurt
i feel sorry for
myself.

i feel so disgraced,
degraded?

i wanna run
i, i, i,

i am sick of me.

i need to get over
myself.

this writing...

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