emily aykens Poet Free verse

The Words on Repeat

I sit alone
head in my hands
red welts growing on my back.
I don't move to cool
boiling water.
The words on repeat:
I deserve the pain

I sit at the kitchen table
family surrounds me.
My eyes unfocused
staring at a still spot.
No one's noticed.
Noticed the crescent dents and clenched fists
blood beginning to drip.
The words on repeat:
I am not worthy of love.

12 am hits the clock.
Eyes not drowsy
sleep miles from me
my mind on action.
The words on repeat: 
I am a bad person.

Music blasted in my ears
as loud as it can go.
Attempts to silence my unwanted thoughts.
The words on repeat:
I don't belong anywhere.

Empty phone.
No one checks on me.
I need help
but there is not a care.
The words on repeat:
I am unloveable.

Knees to chest.
Tracing scars
scattered on my body like unwanted stars.
So many.
Too many. 
Picked scabs, intentional cuts, surgery.
The words on repeat:
I am not worth fighting for.

Tears falling down my face
collecting on my sleeves.
The words on repeat:
Don't let them see you cry.

Words typed and deleted
phrases repeated.
"I miss you."
"Please come back."
The words on repeat:
I am weak and clingy.

"I love you"
"I will always love you"
The words on repeat:
I love too hard.

"Are you okay?"
"Can I help?"
"What's wrong?"
The words on repeat:
I care way too much. 

My ceiling hearing the stories
no one cares to listen to.
My fan masking the sound
as tears hit the sheets. 
The words on repeat:
I am worthless.
I am never enough.
I am ugly.
I am annoying.
I am all of the above.

Failing to see beyond
all these words on the page.
No one caring to show
No one caring to prove
That I might be more
than the words left on repeat.

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment