Long Unforgotten Poems

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A Storm In Heaven, Sections 19-24

"If the drinks rob her balance from her beautiful feet
there my arms will be outstretched for her to meet
And each season we spend apart from the other
I will think of her always and never another
No matter how I long to see her once more
And talk to her for hours on the second floor
Each moment with her a memory unforgotten
By this mind so twisted by love begotten

Oh, I know well the struggle of love unreturned
Another man she loves, but how to deal I’ve learned
Silence is a price not easily bought in such times
And my feelings are punished as emotional crimes
Never to know if her mind will someday turn
And fear and loathing in my heart do churn
This has caused me trouble in the sleepless nights I hold
But these will deter me when the flames of hell are cold

A girl like this one I have never met before
And I have heavy doubts that this world contains more
No matter the lengths and the pains I must endure
I will wait for her forever, this I know for sure
In my very bones, and no deeper feeling have I felt
In all my failed ventures, as if my heart could melt
Such a condition is so difficult to explain
But it lies in everything she does contain

Her smile that lights the darkest hour
Her voice that raises me from days so dour
Her eyes that sparkle in so unique a way
And her hair that cascades as the falls by the bay
Her every aspect enchants me wholly
And so I devote myself unto her fully
I desire no other for no other would I need
the pursuit of someone else no longer taking seed

I know that she doesn’t love this face
And I ask not for it at such a pace
But rather the chance for my value to be weighed
And if this is too much to ask then I shall fade
Into the mists of this rainy Cleveland night
Knowing in my heart that my love was right
Even if I must be a friend for always after
My love will still echo in the sounds of our laughter”

I knew not what to say to man who loved so fiercely
But I took his words for gospel before his gaze could pierce me
And so I saw his oath made on the evening cold and wet
Not a word from his mouth that night do I forget
From then on he strove with every ounce of his soul
To do everything in his power to achieve his goal
Lyla Dawson, stunning smart and loved by all
But never have I thought she heard my poor friend’s call
Form: Rhyme


Premium Member Pieces of Me

a ball is stuck in rafters by a pool waiting
as long as I have been coming
   for 7 years on tender hooks as clouds drift by
        as the drums of time roll and roll
watchful for the person whose air it cradles 
an unknown essence left behind and never considered
          like a pebble shining in the gloom ...
are there places with pieces of me
unknown lost pieces, perhaps seen and felt
   weathered-stained and expecting
my presence still lingering  ... suspended
         out of sight
                     gently recalled ... sometimes
pieces of me lost in a sea of nameless faces, unnoticed
      my lost pieces just shadows on the wall of time
               I remember though I never return
and an encounter with a long ago friend
who holds pieces of me within a memory
                       an item
                          something I said
                              a dance ... embodied
    I want to ask who was I in that moment 
was I more than air breathed ... a breath gliding
oh, why do people smile when holding a thing
          that opens the curtain of memory
that link to the forgotten past and the pieces of me
               that tumble in time like a leaf-strewn
   in a gale that utters low wails like a violin
I am the breath, the heart of those memories
      those are the pieces of me, I existed


Original poem by Dilly Dally before editing...

There's a beach ball stuck in the rafters of the pool, It's been there for the 7 years I've been coming here, It contains air from the lungs of an unknown person, an essence that rests here though they left and likely never consider the fact, I wonder all the places I've left pieces of me, Caught sight of but unknown, Known but not seen, Recalled gently, Where my presence never left a place but I never returned, Sometimes I encounter it with a long lost friend who has a memory or an item I made, a saying or dance I embodied that they kept somehow, There are some people I'd like to ask - who was I in that moment of my life when we passed I hope those fragments are more than the air I breathed on an unremembered day, And are the reason people smile and hold an item in their hands to conjure back like I do on occasion, Small links of the unforgotten, That piece me together as someone who existed.

Babij Yar

Vergossene Tränen, verloren,
versickert in der Vergangenheit
wie Frühlingsschnee
im September

Kein Grab, kein Stein,
für die Erinnerung,
ausgelöscht die Namen, 
unvergessen das Leid

Die Birken im Wäldchen
verschlucken sich an dem Licht,
nur die Blätter verdecken die Sonne
mit traurigen Augen

Angst verbreitet sich stumm,
der Abgrund wirkt endlos
am Rand der Grube,
nur stumpfe Augen, nur lautlos die Münder

Die Schüsse verklingen im Tag,
erbarmungslos, das höhnische Gelächter,
aus grauen Uniformen ohne Gesicht.
Kein Vogelgesang, kein Rauschen im Wald

--------------------------------------------------

Poured tears, lost,
deep into the past
like spring snow
in September


No grave, no stone,
for remembrance,
extinguished the names
unforgotten the grief



The birches in the grove
choked by the light,
only the leaves cover the sun
with sad eyes


Fear spreads in silence,
the abyss seems endless
on the edge of the pit,
only dull eyes, only silently  mouths



The shots die away in the day,
mercilessly, the disdainful laughter,
from gray uniforms without face.
No bird's song, no rushing in the woods

--------------------------------------------------

Lágrimas derrarmardas, perdidas,
resumarn en el pasado 
como la nieve de primavera 
en septiembre 


Ninguna tumba, ni una piedra, 
por el recordatorio, 
borrado los nombres, 
inolvidado el sufrimiento 


Los abedules en el bosquito
se tragaran en la luz
sólo las hojas tapan el sol 
con sus ojos tristes 



El miedo está extendiendo en silencio, 
el abismo se ve infinito
al borde del pozo, 
sólo ojos apagados, silencioso las bocas



Los disparos se desvanecen en el día, 
sin descanso, la risa burlona de los uniformes grises sin rostro.
No hay canto de pájaros, 
ni susurrar en el bosque 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 1941, Babij Yar near the Russian town of  Kiev was the year of death of over seventy
thousand Jews, murdered by the Nazi unit of the SS.
Jevgeni Jevtushenko, the great Russian poet's  poem Babij Yar was published in the
"Literaturnaja Gazeta" in 1961.
Form: Verse

Cruel Rage

Pushed and fallen apart…
Worn the brave face 
While I sweat in my heart
In this rapid-paced race 

I survived the storms you whirled inside me
I arrived complete in dawn's light delightfully
Deleted the lack of passion progress I felt back then 
Again, you never really cared, so I hide in my den

That is disappointing you stole away my inner pride in me,
The healthy pride that was the confidence that was a sea
A refuge to my soul and my everything…my everything…oh dear
You force fed me cruel rage, just in case you weren’t aware, I fear

 You weren’t there, not even a hair
I still want to hold on, one more dare…
Your touch got cold and who knew
We would end up here, stuck like glue

Remember, I have known you for years
Wish I could fully forget the struggles we faced, we faced
Trace me upon your memory's reflection
Don’t reject me and bury me under, feeling so disgraced

You can’t break me by your cruel rage
You can’t hurt me because I’m leaving
I am not your pet in this screwed-up cage
Sorry, hon, but I am done with grieving

Saying my goodbyes to your lies
Bidding my farewells to time flies
Ignoring your calls and lullabies
Your anger and abuse…slowly…dies…

Wet explosions spill out of my eyes vastly
Won’t look back and don’t try to find me 
Be very strong
Because I will
You’re wrong
About me still
Frozen in bed
Dealt with dread
I smile and smack away the fretful frowns 
I’ll run the mile and kick down my downs

Burning the letters in my mind
That rewind your cruel rage
Thank you for leaving me behind...
That backtrack my dejected page 

There are many other pages to cover
Eventually, I will recover
From your cruel, heartless rage
Under cover, but released from your ribcage 

Rinsed away the raindrops from bitter clouds, oh blessed curse
While guilt overflowed immensely, but I seek tragedy in reverse…
Far, far away from your cruel, heartless rage
Under cover, but unleashed by spiritual sage…

Unleashed by your cruel rage…
Release me, unforgotten ribcage…
If not, darling, wait… 
God will, it is my fate

Shelter me,
Spiritual remedy…

Ah, but that cruel cage
Cut down that awfully mad page
Form: Rhyme

I will be better if you get better

To be exact, we’ve been seperated
To be exact, we’ve been so jaded
By the fears and tears as it appears
Hopefully, we will have time to heal for tomorrow years

Yesteryears are a branch away in the uneasy breeze,
But we can hang out with the other tranquil trees

I will be better
If you get better
I will be better 
If you get better 
Remember me…
Remember me…
You are unforgotten as well
Where does your cheer dwell?
Positivity is what we need
I will be better if you will too
Hopefully, our souls will be freed
Bearing this sorrow of rue
I will be better
If you get better
I will be better 
If you get better 
Remember me…
Remember me…

To be exact, we’ve been weaving inner bliss
To be exact, we must be filled with laughter
By the present moment of the purest happiness
Hopefully, we’ll heal in no time before things become a disaster

Yesteryears are a branch away in the uneasy breeze,
But we can hang out with the other tranquil trees

I will be better
If you get better
I will be better 
If you get better 
Remember me…
Remember me…
You are unforgotten as well
Where does your cheer dwell?
Positivity is what we need
I will be better if you will too
Hopefully, our souls will be freed
Bearing this sorrow of rue
I will be better
If you get better
I will be better 
If you get better 
Remember me…
Remember me…

Yesteryears are a branch away in the uneasy breeze,
But we can hang out with the other tranquil trees

I will be better
If you get better
I will be better 
If you get better 
Remember me…
Remember me…
You are unforgotten as well
Where does your cheer dwell?
Positivity is what we need
I will be better if you will too
Hopefully, our souls will be freed
Bearing this sorrow of rue
I will be better
If you get better
I will be better 
If you get better 
Remember me…
Remember me…

Excuse me for a moment or two
Let’s be honest with one another
Don’t take advantage of radiance anew
Let’s shine brighter than the sun unlike any other
Unlike any other
Unlike any other 
I will be better
If you get better
Bearing this sorrow of rue…don’t play me the fool
Due to the weather of your sorrows so cruel
Form: Lyric


Invisible:Not For Contest

He stands beside this long   black   granite wall
broken lines   accentuated reflection   recalled names

It is here where he realized
that intranquility of redemption, even of prayer's forgiveness,
he do not own it any more than he owned heaven  

there being no clearing of one's debts here upon it's mirrored surface.

It is here   in chiseled silence    that he recalled
just when and where he met himself for the first time
among the scarred remains of the killing-fields

where young men grew old far too quickly,  
far from the banana boats   skipping upstream   the tributaries of the Mekong Delta.

In a rice bowl, horror steamed   crop circles of paddy fields   jungles tangled
within mind's greatest intrinsic fear
 
death.

It lay visible near pothered doors
where once stood life's vessels -  unbroken, now carnage   without vestige
of honor, standing unhinged, doors singed, crippled with every breath unnerved,

reduced now   here   unspoken   to names  
only
this is where murder is not reserved
solely for murderers   many were faced   without honor
within this stone their internment. 

As for others, they returned home

invisible

ravaged   each night a memory of unhinged doors   their un-sutured wounds
opening without knocking   entering without leaving   unforgotten
fears of cleaving sanctity undeserved
here
where there is no vetted self-reflection, only sweat and the tremor of dream's
recollected and fractured surfaces   of soul   stilled   distilled   dying a
thousand times a night   each night   each day   unceremoniously

hell reduced to living in heavenly reproach.





(April 24 2016)

*Not for contest...but post inspired by.

*Unceremoniously, 366 blue plastic capsules containing the birthdays that would be chosen in the first Vietnam draft lottery were drawn on December 1, 1969. There were NO winners. I was one among them. The war had been going on for several years before. A black granite memorial wall was built in Washington D.C. to the veterans of the VIET NAM WAR with the names of the fallen engraved upon and was completed in 1982. Other than this...most are still invisible.
© J. Tudor  Create an image from this poem.

The Forgotten

I’ve embarrassed myself in front of you
It’s so strange how you don’t have a clue
Maybe it’s a good thing in the long run
You’re the water that shines beneath the sun

Change is a challenging chore
Don’t you want to know more?
You’re begging for it to the core
Waiting for my wings to soar,
But my torn heart is sore

There’s so much to look forward to
I don’t really know if all you say is true
Tell me no shady lies in my face
Bring me back your vast grace

I’m the shore above your tidal tribulation
I’m the anguish and the happiness sensation
Teach me to laugh and sing in joyful bliss
I need some more of your happiness…
To be rid of this inadequate distress

My head is whirling like a windstorm inside
Your dread doesn’t help, so I begin to hide
I’m sorry I hurt you, but have mercy on me
I sent you strength from my own sensibly

I guess you’ve forgotten about me
I’m the forgotten one, I see…I see…
The loneliness is turning the other cheek
As you and I, in silence and despair, speak

Shadows and sad reflections 
Show me rage and rejections
Speak to me when I’m ready for your company
Change is what you should welcome in happily

I don’t understand your motives
This angst and anxiety in me lives
Can’t neglect this heart of gold…heart of old…
Can’t shatter this soul of diamond sevenfold

How can you forget me so easily?
I thought I was unforgotten in your memory!
What future is in store for you and I?
A peace that will never come, then we’re left to die?

There’s a bump in the road
And I do need Your abode
Hear the echoes of my ode
Figure out my code and unload my load

God has given me a reason to believe
You have given me a reason to grieve
Might as well walk out that door and leave
Or hang on tight to my sweater sleeve…

I’m moving on from your shadows of oblivion
No longer are you the water beneath the glow
I’m fatigued, can’t peel you away like an onion
There’s so many thoughts in mind you don’t know

Awkward pauses are like a commotion to the brain
Speechless because you’re selfish and pretty insane
I hear more than one bird overhead
I also hear of your yesterday's dread

The Writer

The Writer

Inspired by darkness he writes only at night;
Studying stanzas—seducing spellchecks
With the stroke of a pen he is anyone or anything
His great works are subjected to sabotage—prone to plagiarism
His ideas far exceed his lifespan
He will take them with him so that they remain unforgotten
There are times when he is repulsed by his own thoughts
Ashamed that his open-mindedness is so brave— so brazen
He must be careful with his words
Disguising them to avoid unwanted attention
He masters this skill by the memorizing
His important blueprints: a dictionary and thesaurus
The only two books worthy to his cause
He is a word hunter; silently stalking his prey
Snatching them from songs
Taking them from television 
Scavenging from scripts
He fishes them out in an ocean of conversations—inspecting his catch cautiously
Releasing the insignificant
Filleting the essential
He doesn’t waste words by packing them into passages
He displays them attractively on a canvas of possibilities
He raises them from lonely letters to surprising syllables
He rescues them from reckless writers—saving them from abuse
His message is vivid and clear, he refuses to practice the art of confusion
Without writing he is nothing; another drone in a misguided world
With it, he is unstoppable
Creating creative carnage
Amongst freethinkers and immortalizing injustices…in print
He sees he world in rich detail; analyzing the outline of all creation
Nothing is missed— from the tiniest atom to the utmost wonder
His memory is impeccable—photographic and precise
Every element, since childhood, is engraved in his mind
He has a fetish for fountain pens—collecting them like trophies
Never using them, only worshiping their power, it is mightier than any sword
Writing is his purpose 
Even though he will never be satisfied
Every draft s a rough one— susceptible to alterations
It is his weakness 
He is forever troubled by the idea of revision

Columbus, You Again

Columbus, you again
Your rotten caravels still unforgotten
Silhouette of flitting bats 
And old wives tale of true honor
For at each wheel
The old African seamen
Rana Raraku
And their big nose images of the Ra
Those who mined iron
For Hittite spear points
Sailing by the shadow of the sun
And the juxtaposition of stars
With Stonehenge rocks
Turned into the wet wilderness
Confident that the moai
Of Easter Island
Knew this way to children
Farther east 
And all the while your heart
Was like a wing flapping on the drums
Of a webbed imagination

Let me salute you
For courage
To rob so many nations of their gold
For your cause
The Crusades of intermittent genocide
So much honor
In your hatred of the Hamitic line

And these same colonialists
Who dream their new world order
Celebrate the trauma of days for you
Forgotten grandmothers
And the old fairy comes late to tell
Lies on butterflies, 
The shadow on the stair
Webs us in ignorance 
Your presence haunts us who dwell
At the crossroads of the rim
An Halloween precursor
Where history's tragedy amidst the cotton
And the cane is buried

Deep in the heart 
Talon's of your day's unjust wage
The eagle's egg hatching
Oh, but you did not pay them 
except in germs and death
That was strange, stranger than volcanic fire
When will the sun on this crinkling empire set
And all the fables that famished children drink retire
When will the heart breaks free its shackled rage
And Columbus disdain
The contrived yarn spun upon a screen of horror

Columbus, what makes you
Last against the better knowledge of today
The global mindset of global liberation
Why after king and kingdoms gone you remain
Like a gene scripting the margins subjugation
Like a blueprint for new forms of social pain
Oh Columbus, I am in the vice of tooth decay
And no fairy here to bring
My penny for my deep belief.
Form: Verse

The Guilty

My soul crys out for the love denied and  secrets untold,
Awaiting in solitude these chains of loneliness in bondage they hold,
My heart great how it aches in a constant agony, 
Regretted yesterdays still haunt Unforgiving blasphemy,  
My spirit discontent robbed left restless  the cradle now still,
Unpicked babies'breath the antidote that time will heal,
I counted to seven then took a deep breath,
Harshness in numbers realness is death,
Addicted to the numbness with intentions to change,
My plans interrupted and sickness arranged,
On the floor sweating as detox unfolds,
Unaware is the child ill not get to hold,
As the days go on and we drift apart,
Broken an understatement your little heart,
Good intentions have no meaning no acknowledgement this time, 
No forgiveness will I receive for this unspoken crime
Guilt is my vail innocents lost in vain,
Im left with no words only my shame,
As though under Quarantine kept locked away,
Hidden in darkness no light from the day,
In this casket lonely but not alone I lie,
unforgotten unfairly and never to cry,
Sweetness taken but also givin in silence,
Lullabies that echo murderous violence,  
As though under a spell awaiting a true lovers kiss,
In Catatonic stillness my unborn they  wont even miss,
This pain that I feel has me immobilized and wanting to leave,
Entangled beloved in this web woven each beat does it weave,
Warmth takes over crimson lips of a lover,
Gone away forever sins beneath the cover,
Winter ends and the the snow surly will melt,
Just as days alone must fade and love again be felt,
Left alone abandoned by love and by life,
Empty my womb now no need to wife,  
No more tears i decided unknowing though know,
In our perfect time will be joined together in soul,
My son I named you an hour before eight,
Forgive me for loving you moments to late,
Form: Ode

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