Long Toy with Poems
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you distract me. and deny. and you defraud me. you destroy. me. you dream of me. and distance me. you are diffetent from me. maybe you aren't me. and maybe I don't hear love's melody. maybe you didn't move me. so why am I moving. and why is my heart racing. and why am I smiling. lusting after you. why am I craving such pain. I choose to taste your misery. why. I'm in love with you miserably. I love you. Deeply. Uncontrollably. Wholeheartedly. Distinctly. Unashamedly. Miserably. but you touched me. oh so miserably. but you touched me. when you touched me. I felt. I feel. purples, blues, greens. Or is it greens, purples, and blues. I can never be sure. I thought I would utter what was real. I thought I would be brave. Yet, I'm mute. drowning in your affection. letting you toy with me in this sick little game we play. I'm your violin strings. you're my play. my therapy. our mornings. the sunrays. navys, teals, royal blues, metallic. violets, plums, lavenders, and lilac. emeralds, limes, hunter and olive greens. I feel this so much. I am coloring. you inspire me. and you deprive me. and you tire me. retire into me. deep into me. deeper than deep. into earth. into me. back into time. the distances. the differences. the places. the people. realities verses comos. fears versus daydreaming. still, you are me. you are. me. and you are lovely. you read the poetry I write. you called me lovely. you are right for me. I write to you. lovely. can you write to me. you are beautiful. poof. poof. and away we go. hi. hello. you distract me. hey... Mister
I would never be understood by any man
I can't put up a pretense of who I am
I'm very simple and want very little
But they can't seem to handle my mental
I'm not sure if the rejection would cause me to change
I'm not sure I'm appreciated or want to remain the same
I could try to be that average woman for that average man
Wrapping them around my finger and screaming demands
Just take everything for granted including their pride
Take every moment as a joke and just go along for the ride
Playing head games and toy with them while leading them with lies
Treating them like a puppet for what's between the thighs
No one seems to like or want the person I am within
Sincerity and Faithfulness just flows beneath my skin
Do I need to change the person I am just to be accepted
I'm tired of being misunderstood and getting my emotions affected
It's only so many females like me that are left in this world
Who request from you little or nothing just to be your girl
If I start to come off different, it's the men I'm going to blame
You're the reason I doubt myself and wonder if I need to change.
I wake up and I think what am I doing here?
Why here? Why the bitter cold Midwest in the winter?
Why not California or Florida, Georgia or Texas?
Why this icy, cold, air-inducing asthma tundra?
It is so cold out there. Only 18 degrees today, sometimes less,
Zero degrees sometimes, minus six degrees other times.
Why I am I here? I toy with the idea of calling in sick.
I am an older worker, if I start doing this will they replace me with two youngers?
I could make up an excuse and call in late; but then, I would probably forget the excuse that I used. Remember last time? It must be ugly-cold out there. My feet are freezing!
Okay, Brain tells us, calm down. Be calm. Take deep breaths. Concentrate on your clothes.
What about warm socks? You could wear two pairs of pants;
you can double those socks.
Your winter boots are pretty warm.
I run to my bedroom and pull on anything and everything,
Wishing I could find two fluffy socks that match, but I cannot.
Black with white giant dots and neon-red and green that blink might be obviously too different even for me.
I sit down for a second, take a drink of my coffee, look down at my shirt.
It looks like someone stabbed me to death and I had black blood.
The Oreo cookie that I dunked in the coffee is everywhere on my shirt.
And it was just washed. I look like a train wreck! I change the shirt, and sit to reflect.
I am so hot! So very hot. I cannot believe how hot I am.
Listen, Brain says, start taking off some clothes.
Maybe six shirts were too many. I take off two of them.
My husband comes around the corner and asks “Why are you still here?”
A primal scream turns into a roar, and I chase him back into his office. Ready to go now. All well.
I send him an email asking him to buy me some fluffy socks that match.
A percentage of me has to hell been consigned
by the ever raging zionists' war machine.
To each livid soldier, a mandate is assigned
to uproot terror where multitudes are confined.
Torrents of explosives have swept my landscapes clean.
Churches, mosques, schools have all to mighty vengeance bowed.
Stricken mothers wail uncontrollably aloud.
Itinerancy pervades my horror stricken crowd,
whilst my kids toy with explosives, carnage and ruin.
Survivors will take shelter from snipers shooting
death balls and lead from peevish and portable guns.
Horror unprecedented the people outruns.
I have metamorphosed to nothing but a morgue.
Lice and bugs have infested hoodies lined with borg.
Disease and maimed limbs have no remedies in sight.
Let not the world be unmoved by my sorry plight.
Why must I this price pay for a thousand or more killed?
My morgues are beyond their capacity filled.
The deaths of innocents are nothing but unjust.
My once-populated streets have been turned into dust.
Like a secret confided with his last breath
Dangling from his every syllable
He draws me near whispering in my ear
Reaches in to the depths of my soul
He holds my beating heart
In the palm of his cold hand
The demons lurk in the thick murky fog
On my walk at dusk thru an ill lit park
They toy with the last moments before sunrise
While the city seems to still sleep
I’ve said my goodbyes to the tune of violins
Stirring withered brittle leaves as death circles
Cold winds whirl and no one sees my tears
I’ve swayed to my last waltz
I can finally forget the insomnia that has me
In the grip of darkness devoid of guiding star
AP: 3rd place 2020
How to catch the moles, voles and rats?
I am pondering my moves, as the king of the cats.
I am the magnificent, the best, the eager smart king.
They will be amazed at my stamina, stealth, spryness and spring.
I am lying on my couch, enjoying the pondering in all ways.
It is one of those lazy, summer, August fine days.
Which ones to catch first? Do I toy with them too?
I am lying in repose, thinking of catching at least two.
The squirrels and rabbits will be scattering fast.
I am the king of the hunt, all lying around moments are past.
I raise my giant paws up and give a yawn that starts everything.
In a few seconds the wildlife knows why I am the king,
What a thief you are!
You came in my life,
Bloomed the most beautiful smile,
my eyes have ever seen.
Breathed your liquid voice,
into the life of my soul.
Then with the skill and swiftness of time
to rob us of our age;
you stole my heart.
And hid it in a secret place within you
Then you flew away
Like a dove carrying my twig of heart
You flew into the deep blue sky
And disappeared with something
that belongs to me.
Now I'm in bondage.
Bound by heavy chains of love anchored in your soul,
Chains that hold me back when trying to reach another love
And confine me where you left the essence of your fire.
I would want back my heart,
My heart that you sleep and toy with
in the silent night.
My heart that you whisper to
the secrets of your dreams.
My heart that you now keep as a pet
and feed the music of your soul
My heart that now
belongs to you.
Once again, they horde the fuel
Tricking everyone to blame the gov't spoil.
Weeks ago, they pledged loyalty
To serve her faithfully with all might
Yet here they are, inflating prices, pocketing taxes.
They saluted the flag with pride so grand
But in their eyes, Sierra Leone is a battlefield
Where, like a jungle, the fittest survives
Even if leaving compatriots to die
To a grueling inferno on a highway drive.
Like a puppeteers, they toy with prices
Steal and champion every vice there is
Their loyalty to the country is a hollow shell
Where offsprings of deception dwell
Their places of worship arenas to trample the hearts of their compatriots
Treating each of us like idiots.
A heartless patriot, an empty shelf
Striving to fill up, putting country behind self.
Wretched monsters by all indication
Boasting of knowledge and the best education
But the day of reckoning looms, where truth will eclipse their deceit.
Look at me
I am a cat
Iam lithe and lean
An acrobat machine
Nothing is too hard for me
I can walk the tight rope and look down upon the world
Don't you wish you could see what I see?
I have vision
I see far and wide
I know what is coming before you do
But I don't care
Because I am a cat
I do care about that mouse down there
I will gracefully dismount the high place
And study you, mouse!
I shall lay in wait
I am patient
I am goal oriented
I will corner you
And toy with you
Exhaust you
And then I will eat you
You are what I care about
What's right in front of me
I am a cat
Steel Ruler
My steel ruler, Mr I Will
Toy With Your
Affections, passed away
last Wednesday. The doctor said it was a
severe, sudden disease that
was going around that got her. At her funeral in
the backyard I sung to
her her favourite vowels i and v, then I
confessed for her to be the
Cheese Stick snatcher. My stationary wept, then I
supervised, judged, a
celebration adagio that was
secretly a
competition. Of course, the ones whom didn’t move
slowly were
automatically OUT! And the winner was:
Mr Hole Puncher. No prize was given. Who placed
2nd? Well, in
my mind there’s
no 2nd.