Long Tories Poems

(Part 4 of 5)
When do the children come home from school? 
Oh that’s a spot of luck I have a shopping trip with the girls planned
That I want to get under my belt
Before half-term when...

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False promises and bold faced lies
			From leaders we call men,
			Too foolish, vain and unwise
			It’s the election blues again.

			Feign to believe the web they weave
			With patient ears we listen,
			Future balanced if they achieve
			From deceitful eyes teeth...

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What the Butler Heard
Extract from a memoir

Lord Illustrious Penge of Lampwicker Hall,
Welcomed local Toffs, to his Name-Dropper ball.
Noses upturned with a touch of conceit,
Hob-Knobbing with gentry and gentleman elite.
Colonel recalled, his luncheon with Churchill,
Discussing backbenchers...

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The Magna Carta changed the rule of law,
That is, what the law was and who it was for, 
From being a simple, dashing validation of the king, 
To being about truth, reason and justice free-standing....

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Everyone is struggling, in debt and dismay
Why would anyone consider voting Theresa May.
Answers a question with a question
She'll say what she needs to, to win her first election.
She doesn't care about you or me
Tax cuts...

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Gideon in his high viz vest
Trying his best 
To look like those 
Who graft for work
Forgetting we have a long tradition 
Of this in the North  

He doesn’t pass for a man 
Who could...

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Stormzy you aint the dogs Boris
you're just a rapper with a forest
and I promise honest son
the strongest grow an amazon
you're just a woodchuck not Norris
a man should woodchuck Boris
shouting chuck the government
undoubtedly just another chump
and...

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Look Nigel, Boris and Dave are all climbing out of the cave
No longer keen to be an MP - they’d rather freak-out at a rave!
The Commons have driven them sickly
So they’re clearing their desks rather...

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First, you need to mix the potion.
You must read the instructions very carefully
You don’t want to be summoning up any old witch.
So make sure it’s the October manual.
Especially as we know what happened last year.
How...

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Well swollen boobies on bullocks Boris is boss
our nations Prime Minister at J Hunt's loss
some say a buffoon and they say it sinister
like the mans brain is only miniature 
think Corbyn the codfish would be...

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When the bombers are in town,
And soldiers daren't open fire
Because  the legal profession 
Is so readily there for hire
With no win no fee basis,
Always eager for a prosecution
When a  military campaign
Has come to...

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Rhythm and Train

This is my train, going to work
Stand by the door, not by the jerk
Sardines again, no seat to find
People and noise, clogging my mind

Edna has gout, crippled with pain
Barry and Sue, now live...

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He did his hash slinger training
Then with a couple of his mates
Set up this high class restaurant 
Where they didn’t bother with plates,
Just bits of brickkies rubble,
Guttering and such,
Jam jars and slabs of wood
Stuff not...

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Once a
jolly Drongo sat on
the riverbank,
sucking Go-anna eggs
till it brought
insanity,
oh he tried a bit of
thinking,
but his mind was
just a blank,
Fourex beer he'd be
a drinking,
But the Kiwis' are
owning that
so he chewed on some
burnt Damper,
and drank some...

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I wish I was a Tory,
It would be another story,
So much simpler not to care
Or have to be aware
Of how other folks must strive
To make a crust to stay alive.
I could keep my privileged indifference
Surrounded...

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BRITISH POLITICS



I did well not to get involved with politics;
I saw through local councillors
With their holiday homes in the Highlands.
I gave New Labour the slip and went canvassing
For the Love Spirit.
Like Big Ben, I looked...

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we must decide to stop pollution before it to late, natures struggling it won't wait! 
misuse of fossil fuel, deforestation, habitat destruction, plastics, failing to recycle is sealing our fate! 
that is what the green...

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Jeremy Corbyn, with his guilt free smile, conscience clear eyes, he’s definitely the one for me,
JC, the current democratically elected leader of the Labour Party,
I have absolutely no choice but to vote this great man,
As...

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Its the working classes prolific breedin’
That ends up with their needin’
Handouts when Trident needs replacin’
Buck house needs renovatin’
Royal weddin’ funds need allocatin’
Brexit needs payin’ for
And so much much more

if we tax the rich and make...

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We’ve got remainers moaning like little twitches
whining away at democratic wishes,
politicians shone bright in true lies,
selfish gains over public cries.

May Day, 
May Day, 
May’s way’s a crisis,
everyone’s telling her, “we just don’t like this”,
they don’t...

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SWAN SONG OF AN OLD-GUARD TRUE-BLUE TORY
 
I am  one of the last of a dying breed,
I’m an antique true-blue Tory.
I grew up on Super-Mac
And ‘the Land of Hope and Glory.’

In Rab Butler I...

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Have pity on the Scott’s ruled 
By the Brexit voting sassenach
Who don’t seem to understand 
We too want out country back.
Arbroath Smokies for breakfast
Porridge  seasoned with salt
Kedgeree, Haggis, neaps and tastes
With wee drams of...

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The world is run by tyrants who don't really care
Like the Cameron's the Clinton's the Bush's and especially Tory Blair
These warmongers ruin lives and destroy communities 
And they all should spend life in prison doing...

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George Osborne’s Speech at the Conservative Party Conference 2015

Yesterday, on the 5th of October, Chancellor George Osborne said,
He was gonna give devolved powers to local councils dead;
He was gonna extend his hand to the many,...

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I am seeing health specialists over a serious concern, 
for a year I've had a sick note which says I can't work, 
always paying less benefit than they say I should earn, 
and it's now...

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