Tory Envy

I wish I was a Tory, It would be another story, So much simpler not to care Or have to be aware Of how other folks must strive To make a crust to stay alive. I could keep my privileged indifference Surrounded by a picket fence I wouldn't have to own the knowledge (Whilst enjoying Heston's snail porridge) That paupers are dying on NHS trolleys I could just enjoy my hard earnt lolly, Keeping my guilt edged share portfolio Guilt free and safe offshore (Like Rees Mogg, Gove and BoJo) so That my net worth will appreciate And HMRC won't be able to deviate The profits accrued from fracking To subsidise those who are plainly lacking Any acumen or entrepreneurship As a Tory I could safely worship At the altar blessed by Thatcher, Zuckerberg and Branson, As I stack up my king's ransom, A monument to personal wealth, Built without any heed to the health Of the welfare scroungers or the planet A social conscience? They should ban it! Let's get on and get the bull done, Disposable wealth is supposed to be fun, What's the point in being a Tory If you're hamstrung by one nation rhetoric? Yoghurt knitting tree huggers make me really sick, 'It's for the money, not for you' Is the motto of my Tory crew, so go hug a hoody if you will, My snout is staying firmly in the swill!