Long Toner Poems

Incredible Product Warnings

By Elton Camp

Far from folly this hair dry warning is keeping
In telling snoozers, “Do not use while sleeping”

Thinking of putting a curl in your colon or tongue? 
“For external use only,” on curling...

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The Moby Dick Reunion 


One hundred fifty nine years have passed
Since Melville published his novel.
Seven hundred twenty pages in length
Some say it was much too nautical. 

All of the characters have gathered.
They’re going to have...

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The Yard Sale 

By Elton Camp

We must admit, to our disgrace
Have run out of storage space

We cannot understand just why
Things we don’t need multiply

There’s clothes from when I was trim
Fear I’ll never again be quite...

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Revenge of the Office Copier

By Elton Camp

I started to make copies of an important report.
Just as I commenced, it sent a printed retort.
“Though I don’t contain a single strand of DNA,
I deserve respect and have...

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Vanity, the latest trick 
Standing there with your selfie stick
Clamping your mobile phone
For your egotistic picture clone
Lets take a close look at lady Lou
Which are the real parts of you
From top to bottom, seeking attentions
Beginning...

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Tethered to a Moment

A-ha flickers in the momentum of birthing inspiration
New love or grief or tantrums of the soul tether the nascent moment,
Tied onto remembrance in the thrust of a second split,
Swaddled in swooping formal...

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You must have heard of “planned obsolescence”
But manufacturers say it ain't so
A devious mind surely thought this one up
Must be absolutely rolling in dough!

An automobile could be made to last forever
If these guys would play...

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Gun Control - (Violence in the workplace)

Talks with coworkers at the watering hole are fun
Water cooler conversations are important
Bonding with staff, as we speak of urgent matters
Like TV shows and reproduction are good examples
Of how...

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i do not have a girl, its just no im not a phoner, i do enjoy my bread, but just no im not a sconer, i know i like to laugh, but just no im...

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Paint my nights with all the colours of the stars
paint my heavens with all the colours of the cloud
paint my morning with all the colours of the sun
paint the rain with all the colours of...

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