Incredible Product Warnings
Incredible Product Warnings
By Elton Camp
Far from folly this hair dry warning is keeping
In telling snoozers, “Do not use while sleeping”
Thinking of putting a curl in your colon or tongue?
“For external use only,” on curling iron is hung
This most would know, you certainly would think:
On toilet: “Recycled flush water is unsafe to drink.”
If anyone did, the result would give dentists a thrill
“Electric rotary tool is not for use as a dental drill.”
A 13-inch wheelbarrow wheel this caution did produce:
Buyers were firmly told, “Not intended for highway use”
Anyone one who does this would probably be a goner:
Note on a laser printer cartridge: “Do not eat toner.”
And it was on a coffee cup this warning we did spot:
It so clearly stated, “Caution: Hot beverages are hot”
On a Frisbee the following warning we did see:
“Warning: May contain small parts.” Can it be?
If to clean your teeth, you happen to be in a rush,
“Do not use orally,” we once saw on a toilet brush
To do nothing at all with it is all that you can choose:
On battery: “Do not recharge, put in backward or use”
And just in case you previously did this unwisely try,
Is said: “Do not look into laser with remaining eye”
Disregard this warning and quite bad results you get:
In microwave manual: “Do not use for drying pet.”
For just one single use the maker does give the nod
“For use on animals only,” is written of a cattle prod
“For use by trained personnel only” the warning note
On a can of air freshener someone very plainly wrote
Sign on a Boeing 757 much careless handling does stop:
Gives the necessary warning as “Fragile. Do not drop”
Thinking of putting your kid away for rest of the day:
“Remove infant before folding” baby stroller does say
And then whether they are used for days or for nights:
“For indoor or outdoor use only,” on Christmas lights
On child’s Superman costume this warning we did spy:
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly”
To already know, surely most would have gumption
On a package of dice: “Not for human consumption”
“Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand”
Its need on a chainsaw is pretty hard to understand
“May be harmful if swallowed” the caution read
Of a shipment of hammers, though, it was said
Since such a thing almost nobody would have expected,
“Warning: May contain nuts” for peanut bag was selected
Copyright © Elton Camp | Year Posted 2011
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