Long Toffs Poems

I knew my ancestry and my dad was a joiner,
But verged on disowning my mum for labour,
Not married in history yet throbbing with spark, 
Love, truth, kindness fibered the gelled dark.

A stunner - intelligent, muscular...

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What the Butler Heard
Extract from a memoir

Lord Illustrious Penge of Lampwicker Hall,
Welcomed local Toffs, to his Name-Dropper ball.
Noses upturned with a touch of conceit,
Hob-Knobbing with gentry and gentleman elite.
Colonel recalled, his luncheon with Churchill,
Discussing backbenchers...

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Ale and horses

There was only one brewery in our hometown covering the whole district on flat-bed wagons with 50 horses
to get work as a driver was a sought-after occupation
when crates had been delivered at one...

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Privately educated, privileged backgrounds .……no problem per se …….…but ......we're led by these plum in mouth toffs by the troughful.…... their snouts in the pockets of the electorate, creaming the real workers of cash for...

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Her Mam did for the rich Wool toffs, 
   days chocka block with chores.
Her fella was a plazzy gent— 
   A few jars opened doors.
								
 A proper jarg johnny he used;
...

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Ladies dress up, looking their best
Pretty clothes chosen just to impress

Perfumed and pretty the ladies in high heels
Their menfolk  look keen and prepare to do deals

It’s Ladies Day, at Ascot,  an important event
For...

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I love Mittens; they're so warm and cosy.
When harsh winds blow, that makes cheeks rosy
Thick woollen mittens do the trick
These are the hand warmers my hands pick.

Just slip your hand inside the mitt
The opening is...

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It could be true 

 I often wonder if there is a secret plot.
If the virus was human-made to reduce the number
of people living in poverty, and the old?
The minorities who live in inadequate cold...

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I read about a game of football, wondered whether it was real,
Did they really pause the fighting, For some festive time to steal?
Enemies the toffs invented, all were simply duty bound,
Will to win much evidence...

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Brexit Sonnet No. 46
‘A Brexit Gift’
 

What larks! A Brexit gift with double bow,
A tale of two shires with border slung between.
As cameras flash, a cashing stream doth flow
To feed and nourish London’s clear air...

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TRENCHANT WENCH FROM THE UNROMANTIC MIDLANDS


In the pub, I serve out the pints
My comely bosom gives a hint of home
And what men are escaping from – dreary sex
With housewives who scour the sink with vigour

Trim...

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