Long Stupidest Poems
Long Stupidest Poems. Below are the most popular long Stupidest by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Stupidest poems by poem length and keyword.
When I was nine the Little Remco Red Spinning Wheel was out.
Every Saturday morning it was shown to be the best toy since Barbie.
My mother secretly ordered it for Christmas; my heart gave a shout.
I told every friend I was getting it – Lois, Patty, Stumpy, and Arbie.
Christmas, and there was no Little Remco Red Spinning Wheel for me.
Every girl child in America except my identical twin wanted it you see.
I was devastated, annoyed, upset, disappointed, and instantly sad.
Only one who did not notice was probably my Christmas-loving Dad.
No teacher was politically correct then, Mrs.Tot was certainly not.
We kids took turns standing beside our desk, telling everything we got.
Susie S. listed about sixty thousand things that day and then said.
The stupidest gift I got was a little Remco spinning wheel, Red.
My ears flushed, my face hot, I was jealous as I had ever been.
I knew not to even glance at Magill, my all-knowing identical twin.
My heart knew jealousy that day like I have never known again.
Thinking about Susie S. to this day makes my heart give an angry spin.
You can count on red-hearted me
to always speak
my stupidest questions.
May we never count
our years of silence
hiding our greenest answers
to questions never mutually voiced.
I gladly promise
to stick my brown foot
in your white privileged mouth.
May we walk together
reassured
our mouths are for healing
and our feet
support health care
compassionate wealth of feelings.
I scandalously vow
to hotly drill you
till you
can't walk merely straight.
May we always cherish
our warm passion
for sensually heated sacred spaces
mutually scorching
regenerative impassioned places.
Deborah’s Grandfather was fond of saying, other than at Thanksgiving, turkeys had no worth
for he believed that turkeys were the stupidest creatures on Earth.
He told stories of turkeys innocently and ignorantly standing on the ground
and staring up into the rain so long…they ultimately drowned…
Of course we know this isn’t true….and the reason for her grandfather’s sarcasm
is a genetic condition in turkeys called titanic torticollar spasms.
In truth we know turkeys are quite social creatures who also have big hearts
and contrary to what old farmers think…turkeys are quite smart.
I felt the need to test these competing theories…I figured it wouldn’t be hard
and for my test case I would use the turkey family that frequents our back yard.
They travel through once a day looking for the things that turkeys eat…stopping for a rest…which gave me the perfect opportunity to put my theory to the test.
I started taking handfuls of birdseed, “Hello turkeys!” I would say
then I’d toss those handfuls to them…at first they ran away.
Eventually however…those hungry turkeys found their way back
and seemed to be enjoying their complimentary mid-day snack.
The next day when I saw them in the yard…I greeted them…then tossed them seeds
eventually establishing a routine….as they became accustomed to our Balsam House cuisine.
Now the turkeys perch on the fence near our cabin…under an old chestnut tree
and If I don’t see them when they arrive…they gobble up at me.
“Hello turkeys! I yell to them as I hurry out the door…
then toss them the handfuls of seeds I know they’re waiting for.
So there you have it proof that turkeys are quite smart…no longer should we disdain them…
after all look how easy with some birdseed it was for me to train them.
However…as I watch them enjoying their mid day snack as happy as turkeys can be
I have to wonder when I hear them gobble from atop the fence…
If I was training them…or they were training me?
Whatever the answer…when I see them…my pride I can’t contain…
Hey…I notice it’s beginning to sprinkle…and they are gobbling…
I think I’ll go outside and join them…staring at the rain.
I always say the stupidest thing
Like I can do that when I see the construction workers
doing their thing
What if God let me do that
And what am I going to do?
Like the time when I said "I can't hang the Christmas lights"
God had me hang them all around my house
all by myself
Just to prove I can do it
And the next year -when I said "I can't do it again"
He had me do it again
God is like that
He has a way to prove the opposite
Like when I said "I won't do my hair that way again - wet look"
He had me do it again
What is this, God?
Why do You have to do the opposite of what I say?
Why do You want to prove that I do not know
and have to rely on You?
And why oh why?
Whatever God
Anything I say
You are going to prove otherwise
Lol
Whatever
I can never appease You
Do it just right
It's a lost cause
So there leave it for now
You can do whatever
and say whatever
I just watch You
Because anything I say
You are going to say it anyway
Anything I do
You are going to do it anyway
So go on
Do it
Say it
I am on vacation
Don't catch me
I am taking a time out
'Cause anything I say
You are going to say it anyway
You get the message
Ciao!
As the bus drove us to school
& the talkative Dy continued to talk
Never stopping, always bragging
Holding the book, never studying
Always would like to stand as bus 12 drove by
She always laughs & smiles
Hitting the book on the chair, a million times
If the book would talk he would say: oh God burn me now
Better than hell
She continues to talk, looking at the Indians in a bus
Smiling & waving goodbye
As she plays with me the basketball &
Hits a millions people’s head
She always buys 4 chips a day
& eats a gum to calm her down
She never accepts a joke
She always goes sad, & looks at the windows sun
She swear she’d never forgive me for life
So I asked: does this include not talking ever?
She always brings her phone to school
& listens to the stupidest song ever made
Oh my cells are bored from this
She always makes me laugh &
Sometimes she makes me cry
She loved a song for 2 continuous years
Why is she so sensitive?
And I thought I’m the one
Who complained I?!
Get up MacD, smashed it again, get up and work it old man
Them cows are swallowing all the apples down
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Mrs D, girls on fleek, cluckada clucking, their bountiful asses
Not pushing out eggs, I’ll tell the bae’s their busted
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Don’t get me started bout Bungey
Stupidest dog, digs holes, thinks he’s a rabbit
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder yeah
Oi!, don’t leave me hanging here at the window
I’m puffed up, moonwalking, strutting my stuff
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Morning Mr, Mrs Mac you were asleep, while I was bringing it
What's that?, racket? suns bit extra this morning, yeah it's well lit
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Ya going down the Orchard? see the Chicks crib?, yesss lets burn the roof
Hmmm, the local café might sell apple flavoured lattes
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Entered in the Personification contest
Placed 6th
The Rooster, written 14/07/2019
Sponsor: Edward Ibeh
I’m truly sorry that I made you cry,
I only want to hear you laugh and sing.
For deep inside, a part of me would die,
should you ever regret your wedding ring.
I can't believe how bad I've treated you,
you are the only one I'll ever love.
And if one day you should say we are through,
I will damn my soul and curse God above.
I must be the stupidest man alive,
but I vow it won't always be this way.
And my only hope is love will survive
long enough; for me to prove what I say.
And if you forgive this old fool, my dear,
I promise; you'll not spill another tear.
(Sonnet)
8/31/2016
Life's Lesson Life's Hacks
Learning to see with your heart,
for once,
and see the things the eyes cannot?
Learning to listen with your heart,
as well,
you'll hear the things your own ears cannot tell.
Should you hear a broken-down man cry,
or a homeless woman,
she just stole some food, and you saw it?
Let me see with my heart,
oh Lord,
let me know to listen with my heart, too?
So, I can know to ripen with age,
spilling over with the pearls of wisdom,
I've learned throughout my days.
Life's lessons' are the best to learn,
sit down, relax,
and wait till your turn.
Remember the stupidest questions,
are the ones not asked?
So ask away, ask away, ask away, all.
I think I'm going to write some right,
with finishing touches, this prose still, I write?
I googled "Hell Is Where You" and got
Hell is where you are.
Hell is where you watch me burn.
Hell is where you find it.
Hell is where you make it.
Hell is where you want to be.
Hell is where you keep my heart.
Hell is where you're headed.
Hell is where you go when you die.
Hell is where you're supposed to be.
Hell is where you belong.
Hell is where you wind up.
Hell is where you don't want to be.
Hell is where you'd rather go anyway.
Hell is where you're sent for eating clams.
Hell is where you came from.
Hell is where you meet the person you could've been.
Hell is where you set celery on fire and shove it up your ass.
Hell is where you begin.
The stupidest one:
Hell is where you go to unite self-assertion and self-deception with its original source
My favorite:
Hell is where you hang your hat.
This time people have gone too far.
It's something that is really bizarre.
The law is considering letting people walk in churches with guns.
If this law passes, it will be one of the stupidest things they've ever done.
I'll come right out and say it, I won't give people a hint.
When people carry guns, their chances of getting shot goes up 58 percent.
When people are in churches, what if somebody gets shot?
Some think guns in churches is a good idea but it's not.
Some say it's okay because people have the right to bear arms.
But they'll change their minds really fast if people get harmed.
If they pass this law, it may only be in Tennessee.
It's a terrible idea and the law should leave things be.
God will be very angry if people take guns in the houses of the Lord.
He's probably seeing red and his wrath is something we can't afford.
(SADLY THIS IS A TRUE STORY.)