Long Stupidest Poems
Long Stupidest Poems. Below are the most popular long Stupidest by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Stupidest poems by poem length and keyword.
I’m truly sorry that I made you cry,
I only want to hear you laugh and sing.
For deep inside, a part of me would die,
should you ever regret your wedding ring.
I can't believe how bad I've treated you,
you are the only one I'll ever love.
And if one day you should say we are through,
I will damn my soul and curse God above.
I must be the stupidest man alive,
but I vow it won't always be this way.
And my only hope is love will survive
long enough; for me to prove what I say.
And if you forgive this old fool, my dear,
I promise; you'll not spill another tear.
(Sonnet)
8/31/2016
Get up MacD, smashed it again, get up and work it old man
Them cows are swallowing all the apples down
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Mrs D, girls on fleek, cluckada clucking, their bountiful asses
Not pushing out eggs, I’ll tell the bae’s their busted
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Don’t get me started bout Bungey
Stupidest dog, digs holes, thinks he’s a rabbit
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder yeah
Oi!, don’t leave me hanging here at the window
I’m puffed up, moonwalking, strutting my stuff
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Morning Mr, Mrs Mac you were asleep, while I was bringing it
What's that?, racket? suns bit extra this morning, yeah it's well lit
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Ya going down the Orchard? see the Chicks crib?, yesss lets burn the roof
Hmmm, the local café might sell apple flavoured lattes
Cuc-a-dudal-du, I’m da Roostar, pump it, louder, yeah
Entered in the Personification contest
Placed 6th
The Rooster, written 14/07/2019
Sponsor: Edward Ibeh
I was working out on the elliptical machine in the gym, feeling good and watching
the "Calories Burnt" number climb higher and higher.
Then, I noticed a rather shapely and attractive woman step off of the machine two
rows in front of me. As she turns and faces me, I cannot help but notice that the
nipples on her rather large breasts are erect and pressing against her sweat
soaked, tight t-shirt.
When working out, and at other times as well, I suppose, I sometimes drift off and
just stare into space not really cognizant of what I am looking at while lost in
thought.
I must have been doing this as this young woman started walking towards me on
her way to the drinking fountain.
She stops abruptly in front of me and says, rather curtly, "Why don't you take a
picture?"
Snapping out of my temporary coma, I respond, "I'm sorry - what?"
"You seem to be staring at my breasts," she rudely insinuates.
Now, at times like this, in a confrontational moment, I like to try to immediately get
on the attack and, sometimes, in my panic to do so, I can say the stupidest things.
In this case, I come back with, "Are your nipples pointing at me!?"
"What!?"
"Your nipples. They seem to be pointing at me!"
"I assure you, I cannot control what my nipples do."
"And I," I smugly reply, "Cannot control what my eyes do."
"You could look away," she challenges.
"And you could wear a thicker sports bra or sweatshirt", I respond.
At this she just glares at me with hate in her eyes and steam emitting from her ears.
I stare back with my smug grin, alternating my look between her eyes and her
breast.
So, of course, you know, we made wild passionate love in the equipment room at
the back of the gym.
And, just before we climaxed in a frenzied, naked and sweaty embrace, ...
... I woke up from my nap on the couch.
This is when I got up, changed into my sweatpants and went to the gym for a
workout.
Celebrity Stupidity
By Franklin Price
6/3./2017
Celebrity stupidity boggles the wondering mind
To show an effigial head, thoughtless is what I find
Then insincerely offer an asinine apology
To recover reputation that was never there to see
Did not think, before the act, of the repercussions there
Now places blame on the headless one; believes that it's only fair
Only fair, the last ball's fallen for this stupid piece of trash
Hope she never gets another job at the New York, New Year's bash
She did not do it by herself also had a thoughtless crew
Who participated in the act. Thought it was the thing to do
Before they even started, she said I think that you should know
If I do this stupidest of things, I'll have to go to Mexico.
Now the pressure's on her, few offer her support
People sending death threats for her visual retort
Took off all her make-up, cried and said she's not the one
It was caused by our new president. I did it just for fun.
Now I'm going to be as she, disclaim this poetic tout
If you believe I've been unfair and you want to jump and shout
And want to come encounter me with nasty words of diction
Never mind, it is the truth, wish it was only fiction.
"Evolution is the stupidest thing for anyone to believe in."
The above was said to me by a very devout Christian
of undisclosed religious denomination.
My response to this individual was the following:
"Evolution isn't something one can choose to believe in
because it has nothing to do with faith but everything to do with science,
and unlike every Holy Scripture it's not open to interpretation.
Science is and always will be strictly based on proof and evidence,
and the proof and evidence prove only one thing.
The process of evolution has been going on since the dawn of creation,
and continues to this day evolving everything,
be it everything alive or non living.
This is something I know NOT something that I believe
because science has proved all of this to me.
Evolution doesn't prove that God doesn't exist.
In my opinion,
Evolution gives God credibility because it's truly a miraculous process."
When I was nine the Little Remco Red Spinning Wheel was out.
Every Saturday morning it was shown to be the best toy since Barbie.
My mother secretly ordered it for Christmas; my heart gave a shout.
I told every friend I was getting it – Lois, Patty, Stumpy, and Arbie.
Christmas, and there was no Little Remco Red Spinning Wheel for me.
Every girl child in America except my identical twin wanted it you see.
I was devastated, annoyed, upset, disappointed, and instantly sad.
Only one who did not notice was probably my Christmas-loving Dad.
No teacher was politically correct then, Mrs.Tot was certainly not.
We kids took turns standing beside our desk, telling everything we got.
Susie S. listed about sixty thousand things that day and then said.
The stupidest gift I got was a little Remco spinning wheel, Red.
My ears flushed, my face hot, I was jealous as I had ever been.
I knew not to even glance at Magill, my all-knowing identical twin.
My heart knew jealousy that day like I have never known again.
Thinking about Susie S. to this day makes my heart give an angry spin.
This time people have gone too far.
It's something that is really bizarre.
The law is considering letting people walk in churches with guns.
If this law passes, it will be one of the stupidest things they've ever done.
I'll come right out and say it, I won't give people a hint.
When people carry guns, their chances of getting shot goes up 58 percent.
When people are in churches, what if somebody gets shot?
Some think guns in churches is a good idea but it's not.
Some say it's okay because people have the right to bear arms.
But they'll change their minds really fast if people get harmed.
If they pass this law, it may only be in Tennessee.
It's a terrible idea and the law should leave things be.
God will be very angry if people take guns in the houses of the Lord.
He's probably seeing red and his wrath is something we can't afford.
(SADLY THIS IS A TRUE STORY.)
Life's Lesson Life's Hacks
Learning to see with your heart,
for once,
and see the things the eyes cannot?
Learning to listen with your heart,
as well,
you'll hear the things your own ears cannot tell.
Should you hear a broken-down man cry,
or a homeless woman,
she just stole some food, and you saw it?
Let me see with my heart,
oh Lord,
let me know to listen with my heart, too?
So, I can know to ripen with age,
spilling over with the pearls of wisdom,
I've learned throughout my days.
Life's lessons' are the best to learn,
sit down, relax,
and wait till your turn.
Remember the stupidest questions,
are the ones not asked?
So ask away, ask away, ask away, all.
I think I'm going to write some right,
with finishing touches, this prose still, I write?
Deborah’s Grandfather was fond of saying, other than at Thanksgiving, turkeys had no worth
for he believed that turkeys were the stupidest creatures on Earth.
He told stories of turkeys innocently and ignorantly standing on the ground
and staring up into the rain so long…they ultimately drowned…
Of course we know this isn’t true….and the reason for her grandfather’s sarcasm
is a genetic condition in turkeys called titanic torticollar spasms.
In truth we know turkeys are quite social creatures who also have big hearts
and contrary to what old farmers think…turkeys are quite smart.
I felt the need to test these competing theories…I figured it wouldn’t be hard
and for my test case I would use the turkey family that frequents our back yard.
They travel through once a day looking for the things that turkeys eat…stopping for a rest…which gave me the perfect opportunity to put my theory to the test.
I started taking handfuls of birdseed, “Hello turkeys!” I would say
then I’d toss those handfuls to them…at first they ran away.
Eventually however…those hungry turkeys found their way back
and seemed to be enjoying their complimentary mid-day snack.
The next day when I saw them in the yard…I greeted them…then tossed them seeds
eventually establishing a routine….as they became accustomed to our Balsam House cuisine.
Now the turkeys perch on the fence near our cabin…under an old chestnut tree
and If I don’t see them when they arrive…they gobble up at me.
“Hello turkeys! I yell to them as I hurry out the door…
then toss them the handfuls of seeds I know they’re waiting for.
So there you have it proof that turkeys are quite smart…no longer should we disdain them…
after all look how easy with some birdseed it was for me to train them.
However…as I watch them enjoying their mid day snack as happy as turkeys can be
I have to wonder when I hear them gobble from atop the fence…
If I was training them…or they were training me?
Whatever the answer…when I see them…my pride I can’t contain…
Hey…I notice it’s beginning to sprinkle…and they are gobbling…
I think I’ll go outside and join them…staring at the rain.
You can count on red-hearted me
to always speak
my stupidest questions.
May we never count
our years of silence
hiding our greenest answers
to questions never mutually voiced.
I gladly promise
to stick my brown foot
in your white privileged mouth.
May we walk together
reassured
our mouths are for healing
and our feet
support health care
compassionate wealth of feelings.
I scandalously vow
to hotly drill you
till you
can't walk merely straight.
May we always cherish
our warm passion
for sensually heated sacred spaces
mutually scorching
regenerative impassioned places.