Long Spic and span Poems
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As most days go, this one's a winner
Think I'll go out and get soused
After two long years hoping and praying
We finally have sold our house!
It wasn't a matter of price it seems
Location was definitely why
It took this extremely extra long time
But finally a buyer came by!
Advice to those who are thinking of selling
Patience is definitely a must
There's supposedly a buyer for every house
But “For Sale” signs can start to rust!
Dear Cathie and I are over the moon
The relief is showing on our face
Stress was getting too much to deal with
To keep it a spic and span place!
We can now go back to our slovenly ways
With dirty dishes piled up high
Mountains of clothes strewn round each room
On the walls, bits of blueberry pie!
Gonna miss the peace and quiet of the country
Fields of green wherever you look
But mostly gonna miss my best buddy Ron
He'll always be number one in my book!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Poof issued from invisible magic dragon,
which nobody dead sea
immediately disrupting electricity
whereat mice elf (Stuart Little), i.e. me,
no particular rhyme nor reason
called Mickey, plus the missus Minnie
found ourselves literally
in the dark, no pleasant thrill
as well adjacent community
named Maple Hill
approximately few hundred
residents in toto ill
nope, no light to busy
sanity claws writing with quill
thus no alternative,
but forced to remain stock still,
the provolone ideal time
to look for cheeses crust
or crumbs, cuz thankfully tenant
occupying unit b44 never dust
nor keep their apartment
spic and span trust
ting bulge of debris under the rug
not seen by jail warden this August
two thousand nineteen,
cuz she would most likely bust
with anger, which would
bubble forth analogous just
like when volcanoes blow
off their high top
most lava lee phenomenon
unforgettable did stop
people dead in their tracks
saw Pompeii pop
yule lore for tourists to shop
for timeless dude dads till they drop
similar to yours truly at my behest
recently awoken from rest
earlier could chest
barely breathe suffocating blessed
not only mister
and missus expressed
above regarding power outage no jest
gasping for air oppressed
without electricity - society at mercy
to guarantee life hums along
without power to the people,
I forthrightly attest
idyllic climate controlled nest
comes to screeching halt
creature comfort amenities rest
at peace as if lightly
sucked by black hole
this primate unaccustomed to test
his brittle mettle,
and loathed experiment
conducted by fates forced to sweat
approximately twelve long hours est
tab bull lest
stark admittance, I would be carrion
eh, a mere snack
if archaeopteryx made guest
appearance, a quest
going awry see Jurassic Park
object lesson aye did wrest
maybe genetic tinkering,
yes think GMO
microchipped *****sapiens
created with ablest
means to weather severing
how 21st century civilization did invest
ingenious dependence banked upon,
where electrons get fervently pressed.
I sing the praises of Sterilite
(even Mary Poppins would tout
a plug for said company she would spout
forcing playthings scattered helter skelter
retreating into their respective bins
analogous to a defeated army
beating a hasty retreat after a major rout
against all odds fighting off
the aggressive incursion
of a trumpeting lout,
which troops use weapon of choice
namely breath issuing "Kraut"
which in German, "Kraut"
primarily means herb
or the leaves and stem
of a plant, as opposed to the root,
also used in compound nouns
to refer to various cabbage products,
most notably Sauerkraut,
which is fermented white cabbage.
Additionally, "Kraut"
can be a derogatory slang term
for Germans, similar to how "Frogs"
used for the French,
according to The Guardian).
which accolades vocalized
on behalf of a company
whose sturdy products
helped transform the wife
from a potential candidate
of Hoarders buried alive
into a rival for the Odd Couple
neatnik character Felix Unger
though room for improvement
the spouse tries to abide
by the phrase
"a place for everything
and everything in its place"
an idiom that promotes
organization and orderliness,
where maximizing the space
afforded by a one bedroom apartment
here at Highland Manor
taught us the necessity
of maintaining an ever closer approximation
to becoming the reigning queen
of spic and span
affected by the mandates of management
(reinforced by dictates
of urban housing for low income
linkedin to yearly "violations")
toward instilling acquiring
"the model tenant award"
by regular inspections
which if I ruled the world
would include a month of free rent
as an extra incentive
leaving no room
for the likes of Oscar Madison,
which objective becoming
neat and tidy truth be told
finds me relishing living
according to the gospel
of several people offering
decluttering and organization methods
similar to Marie Kondo's KonMari approach,
focusing on simplifying and creating
a more joyful living space.
Some notable figures
include Gretchen Rubin,
known for her
"Outer Order, Inner Calm"
philosophy, and The Home Edit duo,
Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin,
who emphasize visual organization.
Other methods, like Swedish Death Cleaning
and Peter Walsh's approach,
also offer alternative strategies
for decluttering and organizing one's home.
You! Across the paisley covered kitchen table!
Why do our knees kiss..then
lock helplessly in a welcome embrace, as in a fable?
I am so enchanted when we feed each other.
The way you make those sunny omelets sets my
heart all aflutter.
How you look at me with those languished eyes!
Those orbs, deliciously succulent as hot apple pie.
There is no news on, for this is our day to play.
Blessedly under stay-in-place orders but we are
more than happy~ I say!
No dishes do we choose to do by hand.
Into that beloved dishwasher they go, and come
out divinely spic and span.
Come, my love on the deck's swing to recline.
Those dark green, sateen cushions, all our flowers
and we, so blessed ~by God's sunshine!
April 2, 2020
9:30am PST
Pseudo Criminal
Spic and span
Washing laundry like dirty guacamole cash
In Miami sand..... buried hidden Latin trash
Hurray for the tango so grand
Pseudo criminals holding poetic book
When everyone knows they are the crooks
The underbelly of wrong upbringings
Margaritas tasting as sour as the opera lady singing
Her pimp smiles with undisguised guile
For after dusk he will do as he must
Pseudo criminals lurking with pseudo lusts
Full of their pseudo charms that are sure to disgust
Criminals and cowards share the same dance
Brave with words and at first danger seeping pants
They have convictions in their crimes
Some have even two
Beware the criminals lurking around you
Brought to you by Sesame Street Poetry
Today’s poem was sponsored by the word “Pseudo” and the number “2”
A spic and span barren bed,
soft pillow with blanket spread.
You're tired and bored, all hackneyed.
Ready to sleep, drop down dead.
But...a vigilant mind..alive in dread.
cacophony..chaos..thoughts unsaid.
Another sleepless night ahead?
Head and heart throbs, like burning cigarettes
Broken love haunts, rude taunts and threats.
Throttled throat breathes, playback cassetes.
Silent tears douse, debts and regrets.
There lies the pillow, waiting to get wet.
That pillow.....so much you miss ..
Where Santa hid .....those gifts of bliss.
An angel mom blew goodnight kiss.
The pillow fights of sweet reminisce.
Now all ruffled,.. restless,.. whimpers hiss
Somnolent sombre eyes,
in endless rhythm eulogize..
A Sleepless Lullaby....
Dawn bids night goodbye....
The checkered curtains, and spic and span wood floor, I light a fragrant candle.
And the the creme de la creme…..my red Keuring coffee maker, is always at the ready to please. No percolators, grinding beans, not a need for tea bags.
The water in it is always hot and ready. Plus
a variety of K-Cups that hold the contents of what I wish to make. Any variety of coffee, tea, hot chocolate. Hot cider, too!!
I used to grind beans, or use tea bags, boil water, use a chemex maker. All require time and safety.
Then …use special brushes..to not scratch the maker.
All I do is pop in a K-Cup and in a few seconds, there is my beverage of choice. It’s my favorite appliance.
Gives me time to enjoy life and write poetry, as the rivulets of rain, run down the pane glass windows!
1/5/2023
FROM BIKINI BOTTOM TIMES...
...Spongebob Squarepants...what...atoll...?
plunged into where,...no way...toilet bowl...
supposedly, when the ghostly hand ex-toll
ling praise from his late creator, and master
meow mind of popular Stephen Hillenburg
cast said main character in clean new role,
an unexpected greasy, grimy, grisly, grouchy,
grungy gruff peagreen pissed off potty troll
snatched the unsuspecting
cheerful happy go lucky
animated fellow, who lives
in a pineapple under sea
(at 124 Conch Street) quite
self absorbed with Gary
his pet snail (not answering
questions at this time), we
understand emotional devastation,...
and possibly got flushed....sniffling
and sobbing heard...discontinuation,
this could wreak something
offal to all those avid landlubber
fans (many grownups) cling
to cautious optimism, but accept
vigilant prayers believing
quirk of fate could turn tide
of events & cannot dismiss linking
Russian collusion with attendant
rogues gallery, nor abandoning
any in house political conspiracy,
where top Navy brass calling
attention to an uncommonly
unusual migrant barnacles casing
with doddering fogey "Watergate
Plumbers" in tow absconding
before they could be apprehended
(hmm... something seems fishy)
haint no logical explanation, why
anyone would seek squeeze zing
the porous life out of such a
lovable...how unsinkable... accosting
...argh das spic and span hubble...
such a congenial, gentle, likable...
made himself come to life, (and
make believe to fans) achieving
he really existed, when birthed
from figment of imagination aching
tub be accepted and loved (by other
than Mister Rogers) acquiring
water world renown purportedly
slated to receive Krusty Krab shape
formica plaque engraved with his
name inlaid with finest enameling,
meanwhile...stay tuned at amazing
undrying resiliency as saturated media
updates how beloved soaking
hero does wetter adversity!
As corporate cogs go home for the day
Offices empty, regaining their still.
Serene and reflective, sweeping away
Janitor’s magic unfolds, if you will.
His footfalls echo as the dusk falls fast,
Away from the noise, he’s working the night.
Crucial starry role in a one man cast
Sheds sparkle and shine by the morning light.
Wonder if he hums a familiar tune,
Grooving around comfy company chairs,
Close companions - the kettle and the moon -
True confidantes of his midnight affairs.
Though one man cast stays behind the curtain,
His spic and span act shows clean and certain.
1/16/23
Still rejected
I already did mention
Much is in question
In the end most won't get the message
I'm tired of all this tension
Too much focus on others skin complexions
Never once has this path been effective
Do such fools need a punch or bullet to the midsection?
Meaning is the answer a fist or weapon?
For there to be change for the better it's no myth or legend
When necessary I went beastmode
Crap focused on and important matters vetoed
Can't just solve it with cheat codes
Meanwhile continually heat rose
People fighting each other sometimes using torpedoes
All of this continual s*** seems old
Like the same old stories all these priests told
So fast they reach for a couple tissues
Meanwhile the struggle continues
Still dealing with much more than just trust issues
Lady, don't play me I'm not the one
No need to be on the run
I wanted love
Yet have gotten none
From dawn to dusk
I've had rotten luck
They judge and talk too much
I'm going beyond such
Petty matters, yet can't always rely on a hunch
For far too long was caught and stuck
Still continual odd stuff
So easily people go on the hunt
Quick to cause a lot of funk
A lot assume
While holding a hostile view
Among all these molecules
I've got more trust in a dog then you
If you don't got a clue
There was much marijuana use
I'm an alcoholic who
Spent much time in solitude
Occasionally a brief rendezvous
Meanwhile global conflicts grew
Don't test me or there'll be a sonic boom
All of it being told from an honest view
Watch your moves
Toward danger it's chalked up to
Drying up or rivers ran
Nearly always the bigger man
Ambidextrous, either one is a trigger hand
They never once saw the whole picture damn
They expected it all to be spic and span
Life throwing curveballs, despite what is or isn't planned
I've got much to do, before I kick the can
Meanwhile time keeps ticking, quickly it can hit the fan