Not Fake News This Just In

FROM BIKINI BOTTOM TIMES... ...Spongebob Squarepants...what...atoll...? plunged into where,...no way...toilet bowl... supposedly, when the ghostly hand ex-toll ling praise from his late creator, and master meow mind of popular Stephen Hillenburg cast said main character in clean new role, an unexpected greasy, grimy, grisly, grouchy, grungy gruff peagreen pissed off potty troll snatched the unsuspecting cheerful happy go lucky animated fellow, who lives in a pineapple under sea (at 124 Conch Street) quite self absorbed with Gary his pet snail (not answering questions at this time), we understand emotional devastation,... and possibly got flushed....sniffling and sobbing heard...discontinuation, this could wreak something offal to all those avid landlubber fans (many grownups) cling to cautious optimism, but accept vigilant prayers believing quirk of fate could turn tide of events & cannot dismiss linking Russian collusion with attendant rogues gallery, nor abandoning any in house political conspiracy, where top Navy brass calling attention to an uncommonly unusual migrant barnacles casing with doddering fogey "Watergate Plumbers" in tow absconding before they could be apprehended (hmm... something seems fishy) haint no logical explanation, why anyone would seek squeeze zing the porous life out of such a lovable...how unsinkable... accosting ...argh das spic and span hubble... such a congenial, gentle, likable... made himself come to life, (and make believe to fans) achieving he really existed, when birthed from figment of imagination aching tub be accepted and loved (by other than Mister Rogers) acquiring water world renown purportedly slated to receive Krusty Krab shape formica plaque engraved with his name inlaid with finest enameling, meanwhile...stay tuned at amazing undrying resiliency as saturated media updates how beloved soaking hero does wetter adversity!