Long Spam Poems

Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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Diary from 1984 I witnessed thee unthinkable this resulted in the fbi warning me my life was in danger my children lives were in danger that's when I began wearing wires pregnant buying weapons and...

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The Story of History  

Beyond those beaten days’ depleted daylight
Beyond the bathos of a pandemic bondage
With  the resurrected  sashay’s charmed night
Down in the dumps   at the pretentious  proscenium
A ...

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Sixty-eight and Sixty-nine
By Franklin Price
02/03/2022

In January sixty-eight, I was sent to Vietnam,
Was no internet back then, no Facebook, only Spam
I went to serve my country. Had signed the line in sixty-five
Going there to do my...

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Back in two thousand plus some years more of five,
When computers I'd just met, didn't yet with jive;
When a computer was just a box of technology,
A box of fascination and luring like a giant mystery,
I...

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JACKS AND THE BOOM BOOM ROOM HISTORY AND SPOKEN WORD

Before the Boom Boom Room in San Francisco’s Fillmore District came to be, it was Jack’s.   A poppin’ groove organ funk soul jazz club...

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Driving my car across the country, numerous years ago, going to a new place,       
     Changing who I’d know
A loud bang broke the boredom and...

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Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps it was fear
Foul wind was expelled from my rear
The pifflewig...

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Green eggs, Spam and grits
Sam and Pam had their fill,
Then made their way to Main Street
Down WhoDat’s Whatsup Hill.

Waived "Hi!" to their neighbors
To show them that they cared.
All smiled except two who
Just stood there and...

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GROGGY BEDHEAD NO COFFEE SHUT THE BLINDS .... PRESIDENTIAL NO GOOD CHOICES TELIVISION SIGNAL GLITCH SMEAR ART CAMPAIGN... LATE NIGHT REHEATED RERUN RETWEEKED RETWEETED MORNING NEWS?....
MORE RAIN TOO HOT BROKEN LEFT WINDSHIELD WIPER.... SAME OLD...

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Being a disabled person since 1999 my last employment I suffer severe domestic trauma severe anxiety disorder PTSD a result of my wearing wires pregnant for the Fbi buying weapons and drugs from corruption going...

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~Too Much E-Mail~ 
(Rhyme) 


Oh, no! It's happening again, 
When I went to open my e-mail 
So much garbage I found there,what a pain 
And to my dismay knew I was getting nailed 

Everyday I...

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Oh, no! It's happening again, 
When I went to open my e-mail 
So much garbage I found there,what a pain 
And to my dismay knew I was getting nailed. 

Everyday I get so much spam...

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Yes, it is true that the Amazon telephone scam is back yet again!
A few days ago Amazon scam artists pretending to be representing
their company wanted to authorize a "$900.00" non-existent purchase
that I never  made...

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another Nigerian spam found poem

the Nigerians keep sending me
and millions of others
delightedly creative spam messages
this is one of the nicer ones
I have received 

Enjoy
but don’t send her any money!!!!!

Good day Child of God,

Calvary Greetings 
in...

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I write some poems, they're not too deep 
but my best ideas come when driving or asleep 

Driving. 
I often have an out of body chuckle 
watching the eureka moment of my mind-blowing idea
one hand...

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The progressive left-wing social media outlets are blocking conservative websites but without taking them completely off of the web. Concerned persons are still able to access the information but are unable to either sign-up or...

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That ugly duckling face of yours 
resembles the back end of a horse, 
that second face you have a gory sight 
a clogged lavatory orange bright,
both worthless to the human race, 
so I’ll tell you...

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Watch then the battlefield, from the comfort of your chair
And push the button carelessly, when you can’t stomach any more.
Tell us of the sights you’ve seen, from your bought and paid for seat,
Boast of bombs...

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The Possum of Possibilities was invited by Grandpa Troll to visit our brood,
The Possum heard Carol had a dry spell and a terrible writer’s block, so true.
With the troll’s adventures, penguin’s antics, and witches brew...
With...

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Why am I missing you in Wyomissing

In Wyomissing where WiFi waves warp Whitman's words
I'm wiki-wishing scrolling through digitized déjà vu
Mississippi .mp3s Mississauga .gifs Missy Elliott remixes
Mishmash of missed   misplaced hyperlinks missing persons

Y-chromosomes yearning...

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I hate robocalls!

Inxs of recorded messages   
transmitted automatically 
to my telephone number 
by automatic dialing device.

I turn off damn ringer,
and disassemble (carefully 
as disabling a time bomb) 
internal workings nevertheless...
telephone still buzzes
twenty four...

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One two three pea leap. Wow. A slip knot is neither a sleep nor a striped strap. But stealing from an arsenal area is not a wonderful idea is it really? Well come on....is it?...

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A grin, a smile, so happy to see.
To be with your loved ones, your family. 
All the things,
You think Christmas could be.

But not in this house,
For I am alone,
Just my cat and a mouse,
Make up...

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My Life With Barbara
A loving summary
By Franklin Price
01/26/2022

The year was nineteen sixty-nine, sixty-eight was spent in 'nam
There was no social media, no laptops and no spam.
No cell phones anywhere in sight, man was not yet...

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