Long Southeast Poems
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Suicidal Ideation March 30th, 2022 linkedin...
to mein kampf insync with mine body dysmorphia
After reading articles
published within April 4/11 2022
of The Nation
I challenged the efficacy
taking prescription medication
categorized as SSRIs
and/or SNRIs.
Unpleasant side effects
such as earth shaking dreams
and/or especially hefty weight gain
linkedin with former
comprising my daily cocktail
of approved prescription medication
courtesy nurse practitioner.
Deliberation about courting death rooted
throughout mine psyche
fueling sinister chortle
at least since bout with anorexia nervosa,
but... maybe ginned blood,
sans umbilical cord transfused in utero aortal,
though long since recovered, the intractable,
haunting specter, sans grim reaper
intertwining within every fiber of this mortal
rooted, grounded deep, and branched out
into each nook and cranny portal.
Said notion provoked,
when made painfully aware
youngest daughter (aged twenty three)
plagued with similar thoughts,
damn genetics did maliciously engineer
clutching telephone while
seated at edge of chair
did apologetically, despairingly,
grievously... did air
pestilential, penitential, plenipotential... scare
re: distraction and understandable fear,
she might unwittingly plunge
into hopeless abysmal despair
falling prey into irrevocable
deathly hallows lair,
though kudos for her
from me, this sole Harris heir
to communicate, (albeit
hesitantly) into mine ear
suddenly wishing thy
Shayna Punim to be near,
but residing (about three hour drive
southeast of Portland, Oregon)
with my kid sister, attentive to welfare,
a sibling whose persona
doth show tender loving care
and concern, this papa
felt reassured there
would be every action taken
with sixth sense to beware
lest progeny exhibits
pointedly obvious lurching career
dramatic slide in tandem
with Old Rotten Gotham
into behavioral sink
emergency measures sibling
immediately would commandeer,
hence somewhat relieved thee dear
beloved progeny receptive to hear,
this dada expressed his unconditional love,
and grateful psychological intervention
offspring boldly did declare
indicative professional help volunteer
really asserted necessary to stave off
how dice throw of fate unfair
to said lass, whose demise,
would abruptly kill this sonneteer!
Philippines, my country of birth,
one of the countries in Southeast Asia.
It is an archipelago or group of islands,
with more than seven thousand islands.
Luzon, the largest island in the northern
part of the country, is where I was born
and where Manila, the capital is located.
Manila, the city known as Pearl of the Orient.
Magellan, the Portuguese explorer for Spain
claimed the archipelago in fifteen hundred
twenty one, named the islands Las Felipinas
or The Philippines, after King Phillip II of Spain.
Philippines was colonized more than three
hundred years, from fifteen hundred sixty five
until eighteen hundred ninety eight and ruled
under Mexico-based Viceroyalty of New Spain.
Manila was called Pearl of the Orient Seas
by the historian/Jesuit priest Juan Jose Delgado
in seventeen hundred fifty one for being a way
of sea transactions during Asian trade of goods.
However, in Jose Rizal’s poem “My Last Farewell,”
he wrote before his execution by the Spanish
government for rebellion through his writings,
he stated his country as Pearl of the Orient.
So, Philippines, the country and not Manila,
the city became known as Pearl of the Orient,
upon the discovery of his poem after his execution
in December thirty, eighteen hundred ninety six.
Philippines is known as Pearl of the Orient for
its strategic location in Asia, rich biodiversity or
different kinds of plants and animals, natural
resources and its natural beauty and splendor.
The Spanish Crown called it Pearl of the Orient
for the country was a precious source of spices,
other resources and trade of goods, even prior to
their colonization to acquire a share in spice trade.
Philippines’ natural gem is south sea pearls
and it is renowned for cultivating south sea pearls.
The famous pearl in the country, known as The Pearl
of Lao Tzu, was considered the largest known pearl.
The pearl weighed fourteen pounds, found by a
Filipino diver in nineteen thirty four and later, a giant
pearl, the Pearl of Puerto weighing seventy five pounds,
found by a fisherman, both discovered in Palawan Island.
No doubt why The Philippines is called Pearl of the Orient,
the two biggest pearls were found in Palawan, Philippines.
Isn’t that the most obvious, sensible reason? I wonder……
Well, what do you think?...... Just asking……
My Pet Poems, Max
I hopped onto Craig’s List, made a phone call.
Next day, with a royal blue, nylon carrier, which had a small, zippered door, sitting on the back seat ready, we drove an hour southeast for this scrawny boy — white with beige/blonde markings on his back and,too, on his amazing, static-charged, flying ears. The first short-nosed dog I’d ever gotten, with quite an underbite.
The couple taking our $100 for this shih tsu told us: well, he’d not done well on their farm; was bullied by the other dogs; and was fearful of horses.
In turn, I thought: well, who wouldn’t be? This tiny, white fluff of a boy with that pronounced, huffing smile, all teeth from chin to nose. I told Jim on the drive home, “The funniest thing I ever saw.”
The vet record the couple gave us was fraud —no such vet. And, apparently, Max had a nerve disorder, too,which sent him into a fit of physical contractions and screaming at any point of any excitement. “He is one for the medical books,” our own vet said, as we tried every approach to help him. He suffered in those fits, as our ears and alarm for him did each and evoery time for over three years, with us finally stopping the meds, simply going to embrace him gently, saying softly, “Max! Max, jt’s all right...”
Now, some several years later, the fits are no more...I try not to, but I wonder what horrors he knew on that farm: if the bullying dogs bit him when he screamed? And if the couple tried kicking him out of his fits with their heavy farm boots? My intuitions all but saw it. Oh...
This little boy, who became the shadow figure at my feet... like his ancient Chinese-bred ancestors, lying guard before the holy places, and taking off to bark away any possible predators at the door; and, too, lying half-wakeful aside their sleeping monks or the town’s children in case some monster rose out from a dream, or some other need indicated a command.
Then, when Gigi came, he became instantly a big brother, as a dog will do it, he always abdicated as she insisted on being so at my side, in her little princess way of wedging her way between. Thus, Max has taken to Jim’s affections and shadows him. The boys there. The girls here. Affection throughout the room!
********. *********. ********. ********
(c)sally Young eslinger 12/23/20
Always Thanks be to God
Great White Father,
About those anti-BadNewsMedia rallies
while our SouthWest is burning
and while our SouthEast is flooding
and wet windstorm conflagrating,
feeling the flamed-up wrath
of an angry EarthGoddess,
Why do you plant and nurture hate
and anger
against potential WinWin integral communicators?
Did it not once occur to you
to wonder why you chose to be elected
in this climate precarious time?
Why are you like BadNews zealously mendacious Saul
when we so obviously need a more integrated St. Paul?
Filled and overflowing with healthy integrity,
Holy Matriarchal Spirit-Nature.
Your mockery
and tongue-lashing
and transparent ego-promotion
will not help one child
recall what a great job you did
while made in U.S. of A. family homes
and forests are burning
longer and stronger
every devolutionary decade.
Your egotism
and anthropocentrism
further inflame climate disasters
and absence of accessible health care,
cooperatively given as received,
and healthy wealth of economic and politically reasonable reassurance
that, together,
as a healthy bicameral democracy,
we can rebuild this co-dominating
co-operative constitutional
integrity we so redemptively WinWin need
We need to gather to heal Earth's climates,
not to destroy them
with bad attitude and vilifying pathologies
rather than gratitude and health-wealth celebrations
to restore justice and invite cooperatively owned peace
into ego/eco-centered green health hearts
and wealth societies
reforesting our WinLose deserts,
Revolve
resolve our storming desserts
for past hubris
of Great White Fathers
demanding missionary colonization
inflaming idolatrous hate
rather than inviting
our seas to still
our surviving trees to witness our worship.
One difference between you
and Barack Hussein
I notice you never mention:
You look at historical outcomes
for nature/spirit WinWin Native Americans
and gleefully declare
"They lost!"
Barack recalls those same disempowering outcomes
and sadly, yet more patriotically, notes
"We all lost."
I wonder if the burning homes
and trees
can hear that terrifying empathic difference
for future integrity
of a mental and physical
mind and body
spiritual and natural healthy democracy.
L’octroi des droits à Jacky – Translation of Mudroroo Narogin’s « They Give Jacky Rights » by T. Wignesan
(Note : The first aboriginal writer to have achieved – according to Kevin Gilbert’s Inside Black Australia – international fame with his novel : Wild at Falling (1965) as runner-up for the Llewellyn Rhys Memorial Prize, in 1966, Colin Johnson who renounced his Christian names in 1988 for the aboriginal : Mudrooroo Narogin was born at Narogin in Western Australia in 1938. Educated at an orphanage, he was thereafter left to fend for himself on the streets of Melbourne. He has also travelled widely in Southeast Asia, Britain, the United States and India where he became a Buddhist monk for seven years. He is a published playwright, poet and novelist, and he co-authored : Before the Invasion : Aboriginal Life to 1788 (OUP, 1980) with Colin Bourke and Isobel White.) T. Wignesan, Paris, December 13, 2016.
On l’octroie des droits à Jacky
Comme le serpent tigre des droits à son proie:
On l’octroie des droits à Jacky,
Comme le droit d’une victime d’être visée d’un viseur de fusil.
On l’octroie des droits à Jacky
Comme on les donne à un bébé pas encore né
Arraché de l’utérus par une mère insouciante.
On l’octroie à Jacky le droit de mourir,
Le droit de consentir qu’on fonde des mines sur sa terre.
On l’octroie à Jacky le droit de regarder
Comment sa terre sacrée du Rêve (Dreaming) devient un trou –
Son âme meure, ses ancêtres pleurent;
Son âme meure, ses ancêtres pleurent:
On l’octroie à Jacky son droit –
D’avoir un trou sous le sol ?
La Justice pour tous, Jacky s’agenouille et prie,
La Justice pour tous, ils font des trous dans sa terre ;
La Justice pour tous, on lui accorde ses droits :
Une cruche du vin de table pour calmer sa douleur,
Et sa femme devait se prostituer pour ce cadeau.
La Justice pour tous, on lui octroie ses droits –
Un trou sous le sol pour y cacher sa méfiance et sa peur.
Qu’est-ce que Jacky peut se faire sinon continuer à lutter :
Les esprits de son Dreaming* lui rendent fort ?
• Dreaming/Alcheringa : The creation of the universe, the time known to most people as the Dreamtime or the Dreaming. (Oodgeroo, My People, 1990.)
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016.
This revolutionary fella followed by
Adams family patriarch,giving rise
twin heir (plain lee gifted "Renaissance
Man") Jeff force'n without hemming
and hawing, subsequently conceding
nexus (nor horse drawn Lexus) of Colonial
power to Madison, thence Monroe
buttoned up as suitable candidate after
which younger Adams elected.
Thirty four followed Jackson's club
trumpeting (some Obama nib bully)
bushwhacking their way predicated
on faulty Algorithm, charming
charismatically with hint of Clint
like glint in eyes, blinding populace,
sans ray gun (Reagan), Car Tour ring
with peanut gallery in tow, affording
(unpopularly pardoning unfashionably),
a Jerry rigged nixed son, followed
by John's son tainted by stain of Vietnam,
but with said Southeast Asian debacle,
one ken heady (sporting thick styled hair)
inherited an internecine conflict, essentially
precipitated, when Eisenhower hardened
political stance against any allies of the
Soviet Union, (sans The Viet Cong), and
pledged his firm support to Diem
and South Vietnam.
Now with preceding administration, one
harried true man unleashed advent of atomic
spectra upon Hiroshima, and Nagasaki, this
purported preemptive measure scary ruse
felt to thwart exaggerated Japanese government
threat (military intelligence) scheming to
wreak untold havoc upon American troops
within the Pacific theater of World War II.
The former horrific decision controversial,
then and to this day Hoover expert historian,
diverge, asper corroborating the necessity
to usher in the Cold War, yet majority foreign
policy wonks might grudgingly attest that
said thirty first commander in chief did maintain
a Cool Edge throughout onset when doomsday
clock began countdown to Armageddon,
an unimaginably blaring, deafening, earsplitting...
cacophony distant rumbles heard, nonetheless,
no Hard dinning ghoulish nightmare (potentially
obliterating all life on planet Earth) haunted
Wilson, nor Taft, only gunboat diplomacy
mere child's play exhorted, less catastrophic
comparison, when Teddy Roosevelt wielded
"big stick schtick" namesake corollary to the
Monroe Doctrine in 1904...ad nauseum.
the city's sick scar, fuels my descent, into this abyss, where twisted creatures writhe, in the darkness. cyclops with one eye, on the ball, three-headed puppies, sealed behind glass, strippers selling tickets to the apocalypse. a demon, a door-to-door salesman, asks for my dough, my scratch, my entire lunch budget, think i’m some golem, bred for his amusement. newsflash, satan, inc.: i’m not buying what you're selling, not today, not ever. i unleash the nuclear option, a superwoman uppercut, his face hits the cranial drain, and my hand screams in sweet agony. this just got real, this just got weird. this is my life, where lunacy is currency, and I'm the clerk, jacking waivers to the outskirts of sanity.
*
cankers of the damned, blinded by the sun of self-importance, rot in your own stagnant depths. i’ve swum in this abyss, feasted on the carrion of the city's discarded dreams. the abyssal labyrinthine, where the absurd and the grotesque, dance in the candlelight of a lonely night. the demon's words, a siren's song, luring me to the shores of chaos, i’ll take the punch, in the face, in the gut, in the depths of my own haunted psuche. for in this twisted wonderland, i am the madness, and the madness is me.
*
i stumble through the ravaged streets, a flautist of the fragmented, my breath a thanatopsis for the unreal. i’ve collected the relics of a thousand midnights, the whispers of succubi and the fiddles of the dying. the world's a circus of somersaults, and I'm the ringleader, juggling the shards of a shattered mirror. the devil’s chuckle still echoes, a calliope tune in the halls of my mind. i’ll grab a bottle of venom, a vial of hellfire, and dance with the shadows, where the darkness is my solace, my home. in this city of broken dreams, i’ll find my song, my opium for the masses, my requiem for the damned. tonight, i’ll give the monsters a show they'll never forget, a festival of freaks, a bacchanalia of the grotesquery.
*
as my body sits here on the edge of pandemonium, my mind wanders for what the true meaning of all this is, will they meet in some back alley so my frame can be the structure it needs to be, stay tuned.
Elan's word?
Zulu's sword?
Heartsichordiums-convulsive-verb
"Anabantium", O wraith of mord.
So is it, it is for Hilerides-Dales,
which green-discourse,
Southeast of Wales
or some other perch
of liaisoned Angeles-porch ?
Is one-way with a steep of glades newly born.
No sooner have we besmirched.
Self.
Nostra-damned-us, Astrogalus,
Nostragus.
Nemean Lion- first-of course;
eat us- at these quatrains,
like a double edged verse
candlelight-consuming in a dance of
strobelight nurse.
Neon-Cry that Mercury-Tear.
Filter-through, Mushroom Signage
of Modern glares.
As is-with directions,
one way streets to the Dens of thieves.
Dropping, dripping, burning eaves.
Robbing hoods and so also
there was some relation at worst-held
at bae or backwoods, back alley deed.
Err thee connection-theta warded-word
to say in it's assumed position,
bemusing Gaias':wraith de morgue.
Wraith de Morgana, r ape Avalons' Mist.
Undo the handmaiden with a new Word?
Unkiss? Disrobe? Amiss?
The Nostracina in turn be as it may.
Apologetics-Hilaridesics,
seems originally as being male; alone,
an Ictinopharctic poet
(nere-accompliced drunkenly-bare.) Was
named as for it a "Father-Door".
Now abyssmal opening, "Abaddon or Apollyon"
for who we to christen in sinful-adornment
of the riding of the unrepentant-whore.
To make her implore(doors? to whom?),
Ihttiphodar-Apath-Anamethat-Anathema,
that fore-in the family to grow-in-swore.
There have come much
tumidity and variety, little understanding
nor humility of season or station.
Of which that may be confusing for some.
Critique the weak, in terms of being. "Able to know".
Is just in it or have you
see to it's evening-glow?
Civilization? No.
Then this, also which I'll have to explain at night.
Among other that I have also,
left traces from the rite,
(their language of love,
of also of a possibly anamallan),
is then saying, (Elan!), more is the pain.
Till that which comes, comes as that Latter Rain.
No?
All other which I cannot know
for thee for it is hermetically sealed,
Bibliopsysicly sown.
Buzzfeeding sustenance (eating/drinking) beyond point of satiation
Bloated swollen cheeks
analogous to first Chinese Brother,
who swallowed the sea,
now non sequitur
off beaten track i.e.
less apropos re: guarding
par for race course as if
ace driver won Grand Prix
latter referencing international
horse race for three-year-olds,
founded in eighteen sixty three
931 + 932 = above number
satisfying ghost of Fibonacci.
Original idea predicated whereby
all Americans heartily feast
(stuff themselves to the gills)
salivating cornucopia dime
a dozen lonely people
bemoaning holiday re:
traditional Thanksgiving time,
celebrating joie de vivre chime
wine glasses clink full house,
where ushers pantomime
proffer gobbledygook and
motion rapidly hungry guests
toward smorgasboard prime
tables for gluttonous
to commit punishing crime.
Tentative arrangement made,
whereby oldest sister, and husband,
(who live a jaunt away from Maple Shade
more precisely Woodbury New Jersey)
would swing by Schwenksville
comprising one car motorcade,
thence to shuttle 31.5 miles southeast
our mutual (of Omaha) friend,
I met when counted orbitz
during late 30/early thirtieth decade.
Offer to drive out of their way
presented, since our 2009
Hyundai Sonata did betray
accountability, dependability...
reliability oy vey
woolworth no more than
couple/few Benjamins
yet real challenge constitutes
yours truly, née
theme underlying mein
kampf pennilessness pray
I did (despite being orthodox
atheist) to no avail
relying upon social security
regarding disability (mine) Mayday
forthrightly, feebly, faintly...
calling before men
donned with white coats
came to take me away
to the happy home with trees
and flowers and chirping birds
and basket weavers who sit,
smile, twiddle their thumbs and toes.
Communication break down
compromised eating humble pie
regarding this ole man
upended above mentioned plan
whereby attending
hosted by: Gail la Dorfman
afforded rubber express
thus with Forrest Gump I ran
all the way across
Ocean thru to Japan.
Walking along the warm sands of the shoreline
My black Belgian shepherd by my side
Sea lions barking, sea gulls flying, towards the sailboats beyond the inlet
Pondering the solipsism, amid soliloquy divisions....
While the winter sun, shines down its solace
As I glance toward the southeast, and beyond its distant horizon
Knowing, within my pulsing raspberry heart, which pounds for her, these melodies
For it is somewhere there, beneath the whispering wooded trees
Where she wakes, she creates, she believes, and, she breathes....
In this maya of a moment I can see her
White silken dress, atop her golden pristine flesh
Blowing gently in this breeze, like an Angel within a dream....
Her rubious red lips, and her glistening strawberry auburn hair, flowing
Within this deja vu premonition she smiles, this certain, glowing gleam
As her endless chocolate eyes, blink, beneath her heavenly painted lashes
While bluebirds and red breasted robins gather, with all of nature, roundabout her side....
Solomons-seal upon my palm, holding the infloressence, as the Parus bicolor begins to sing,
its lullaby
Tinnitus sounds that twinkle in time, calling, as Tinkerbell, slowly fades away ~
Beyond these tangerine skies so close, inside, these blueberry wanting scenes
Where her words chime, to a longing heart that beats, resounding, from this rising sea....
I bleed, as I fight this space which lies between us
For in my soul, today, she is all that I can see!
Dare I tell her that I love her?
Dare I ask her to join me, within my own world?
Walking along the shoreline, my shepherd by my side, boats beyond the inlet, sea gulls in
flight
Pondering the solipsism, amid soliloquy divisions....
While the winter sun, shines down its solace
And I smile, within this deja vu premonition, of what dreams, may someday be?
Tinkerbell dancing, dressed, in blueberries tangerine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Within, the deepest ocean....
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