Long So far so good Poems
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FREE RANGING
This is a voice you should be hearing,
As the Earth keeps turning,
To all the Free Ranging Lemmings:
Is today Armageddon coming?
Is today the world blown asunder?
Could you do anything else, I wonder?
What is this vast eternal plan?
Does any one really understand?
Are we really on the eve of destruction?
Creating weapons of annihilation,
More than one way to delete civilisation...
So far, so good, the assassins have failed again,
Should all munitions be in a rubbish bin?
Is today Armageddon coming?
This is voice you should be hearing,
Is anyone ever listening?
To all the free ranging Lemmings........
If I Make It To Old Age
If I make it to old age, I’ll count myself lucky.
Not careful or clever, not courageous or plucky.
It’s all down to fortune at the end of the day.
Despite what the best advice is, or what doctors say.
There’s fitness freaks popping their clogs in their twenties,
While ancient old alkies live surrounded by empties.
Well alright, those folks are excepting the rule.
Life can be implausibly generous or cruel.
Don’t get me wrong now, I don’t want to pop,
But the day with my number on will be time to drop.
There’s nothing can stop it, when it’s time it is time,
Be you ancient and venerable or right in your prime.
If I make it to old age, it won’t mean I’m cunning,
Just that I’ve managed to stay in the running.
I’ll keep cracking on, just like anyone would,
I’m middle-aged now, so it’s so far, so good!
There is a phrase A Piece Of Cake
That goes against the ones I make
Not an easy task for me to do
Often end up with burnt mess or goo.
I start by reading all the instructions
Then gather items from recipe introduction
So far, so good, A Piece Of Cake
But time will tell when I finish this bake.
Next weigh out the ingredient things
Flour, sugar, butter and mixed string
Double take check, read list again
Silly old me it was a mixing machine.
Cream butter and sugar add in the flour
This took me well over an hour
Add the eggs, in fell some shell
Oops! oh dear, please don't tell.
Mixture placed equally in two lined tins
Popped into the oven for twenty mins
So good, so far, A Piece Of Cake
Time for a sit, a cup of tea break.
Taken out from the oven, did the knife test
I was so shocked this cake was the best
Put it all together, finished off my bake
Minor issues this time, A Piece Of Cake.
Some things in life can be easy to achieve
Harder for others or harder to believe
Never give up just keep trying to be
This is what this phrase means to me.
(And you'll soon have your Piece Of Cake like me.)
Motto Matters Poetry Contest
Sponsor Natasha L Scragg
Written 17.09.21
As coffee cups go mine's very pretty
With butterflies and flowers thereon
Not very masculine I must admit
But welcome at the crack of dawn
Stumbling my way down to the kitchen
At six o'clock on the dot
Dragging my body bumping into things
Arms flailing reaching for the pot
The first sip goes down kinda roughly
I shake and shudder giving thanks
My body tingles right down to my tootsies
That stuff can sure turn my crank
Been thinking of taking it intravenously
That's when there's no turning back
When you fall headlong over the precipice
And have serious withdrawal attacks
But to top it all off this substance is legal
How cool is that my good friends
When stuff can give you this much of a buzz
It's bound to be illegal in the end
So far so good and until further notice
You can drink it openly if you wish
But as soon as it goes the way of marijuana
That's a whole different kettle of fish
She is a knock out! The space cowboys were whispering.
I turned and looked. In her earth costume they were not wrong.
I am the alien’s doctor, so I know how they look naturally.
They have four eyes, two mouths and a beak.
They have learned not to show themselves to Earthlings.
In their natural forms anyway, Earthlings are absolutists.
With an absolute way of thinking – people have to look a certain way.
If they do not, they are not accepted. I kept their confidence.
I wanted this get-together between Earthlings and aliens to go well.
So far, so good. The space cowboys were duly impressed.
They were arguing who was going to invite the sexy alien to a dance.
The alien woman caught my eye and grinned, loving the attention.
Probably not my first battleground with this nasty bug
Still haven't tested positive after many attempts
But I know I have it now
False negatives or perhaps it's just my luck
I'm still kicking my way thru it, and I trust that none of you
Want to take this cross from me
But feel free
Grandma's got it too, that's my mom
Always taking care of us all no matter what the cost
Bless her soul
Hope all those vain vaccinations were worth it
So far so good . . . still here in the hood
No 911 calls yet but she says keep it on hold
This aint no ordinary cold
It reaches deep down and taints the soul
I feel for all the dead before me
Now is my chance to dance with this devil
Giving me night sweats and a backwards fever
I feel soooo cold like I could die
Really makes me feel that mortal mold
With an electric cord protruding from the back of my skull
Don't unplug me yet
I still have some more poems to write
Is tonight the night
I aint afraid
Jesus has my back
My faith is intact
He says Our Father forgives me when it's not
So, I say a few Our Fathers and struggle through some Hail Marys
(It's been a while since I've said those. Threw out my Rosary years ago)
I've walked thru so many Church doors that you'd think me a swinger
But I'm a deadringer for what is real
Ringing the dinner bell Ding Ding Ding Ding Dong!
What's wrong with me Lord, why'd you make me this way?
Extra toes and thumbs, kinda seems dumb
I think I would have been better off with an extra brain
Perhaps then I'da been a bit more sane
Less of a pain
More like everyone else like anyone else would care
I dare to overthrow tyranny and jerks
With a glare of my obvious godlike good looks.
I must get that from you, my Lord
Thanks for being there for me thru all these years
Putting up with all my failures and doubts and bad poetry
And to anyone else reading this malarky
Thanks for sharing!
I think I'm going to go now
And visit the porcelain thrown
For a while.
Wedding Day
I can say that I had a bit of a headache.
We should have had more drinkers
If we planned to float the keg.
I left in plenty of time...to be on time.
I had my tuxedo complete with shoes.
And, maybe those aspirin would do the job!
Well she was upset...There's no such thing as 'on time'!
Lots of pictures needed to be taken...
This day must be recorded...not repeated!
My brother...the Best Man...forgot his tux!
He wore Robert's...another brother.
I felt bad for him.
I'll never forget standing up front
Waiting for her to enter.
Then they played the song.
I didn't have a headache anymore.
She was BEAUTIFUL....
Of course!
I watched as she approached with her dad.
He looked relieved to put her hand in mine.
It was like a foreboding moment...
But don't worry...It's all been good!
I just wish she could forgive me
For forgetting my street shoes!
When we left the reception
With me in my tux shoes,
Johnny gave me his mastercard,
"Put the motel on this," he said.
Good thing - I had One Hundred Thirty
Dollars to my name!
We drove straight to our little duplex
And spent the first night together...
We were so tired, we went straight to sleep.
We would have wedding cake for breakfast!
The rest of the story is yet unwritten,
But so far...So good!
P.S.- 35 YEARS IN AUGUST
The Cat has Taken Over.
by Bob Moore-c Fe
So, we got a cat nothing wrong with that
told my wife we never would
I like dogs, but cats I hate
she convinced me that we should
Of course she didn’t listen
“this is a rescue cat she said”
my daughter can get it for us
will be no trouble, and easy fed.
Now Holly was a stray cat
lived in a stray cats home
been living there for quite a while
no space for her to roam
No one wanted an older cat
her time was coming to an end
so my wife convinced me,
and Holly had a new friend
The cat arrived, so far so good
then, the house was full of toys
scratching poles, and feeding bowls
and other cat-type joys
Nail clippers, and all the things
the list goes on and on
everything a cat could need
was ordered from Amazon.
Now the house is taken over
and it doesn’t look so neat
I have to clean up after myself
Holly sure landed on her feet
Enough is enough of this seriousness
Back to the sillies where I belong
Here's something to ponder, my friends
Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long
I don't usually have to think twice
Before giving it a second thought
You're schizophrenic? That makes four of us
Skydiving is good to the last drop
Have you heard that gravity is a myth
In reality, it's the Earth that sucks
Did you know old people have a secret
That secret is known as luck
You know you have a small apartment
When Kellogg's Coco Pops echo
Maybe our world is another planet's hell
Sure wouldn't surprise me to know
Why do psychics have to ask you your name
Going to live forever... so far so good
I adore you more than beans and rice
If I could love you more I would
They say, hard work pays off in the future
I say, laziness pays off now
Some sage advice, never ever stand close
To the back end of a cow
All those who believe in psycho kinesis
Will you please raise my hand
People usually wind up in a prone position
While involved in a one night STAND
What happens if you get scared to death twice
What do sheep count to help them sleep
Ever wonder why all blackboards are green
Do birds shake wings when they greet
I was a “why child”
but unlike many others
didn't ask my questions
right out loud
for they never elicited satisfaction-
only bizarre grown-up reactions
discomfort shown
in odd looks or awkward glances
at each other, over shoulders
uncomfortable silences
growing colder
nervous laughter
qualmish coughing
even worse- the teasing, scoffing
or miserable mealymouthed
meaningless exchanges
in that drudging monotone
of “I'll explain later”
or “you'll understand better
once you're older-
or you're grown”
And so I dug for
the answers myself
delving in dresser drawers
combing through closets and
straining to reach the very
highest-high shelves
I wanted to know all the kinds of things
that people keep to themselves
Until one day, I finally found it
the holy grail I was searching for-
in an anemic cream-colored binding
weathered and worn
my Mama's diary of secret thoughts
from the years before
Breathless, I broke it open
impatient with worrisome wait-
wanting to savor it, to slow down, and taste it
every scandalous secret enclosed within...
so I scanned the dates before reading the entries
to find out where the story would begin
So far, so good
it was ancient to me
back before she was even married
and I couldn't wait to know the fullness
of it treasures trickling down
like a delicious waterfall
cool and refreshing
invigorating
but- Oh!
how she had let me down!
Ruining all my breathless fun
I found that my Mama
was not a very
exciting
kind of woman